Sky's Content
by sonicfan94
Summary: When Yuri's father gets called to Suna due to a rare flower, she somehow becomes a guest at the Nara house. After some initial awkwardness she becomes very close to Shikamaru. But then -that- happens and things change dramatically. Shikamaru X OC
1. The Awkward Beginning

The Awkward Beginning

I held onto a flower as I looked at its beauty. The flower was a lily, a _Yuri_, which people say matched me perfectly. I don't know why, but they say that my name, and the flower just suited me… Well if you haven't guessed, my name is Yuri, Sukai Yuri.

I live in Kohona with my dad. Sukai Suisen, who happens to be a florist. Well not your typical type of florist, but he specializes in rare flowers that are often used by medical ninja. So although he isn't a ninja, he is closely linked to them, I mean, that is how he met my mother. But I guess you can say I'm taking after my dad since I do know quite a bit about rare flowers.

But enough of that, back to what I was saying. After I collected a few lilies and placed them in a light blue bag that just happened to match the dress I was wearing (well because my mom made the outfit for me back when I was young). That was when I began to walk home; however, on my way home I accidentally bumped into someone on the street.

I stumbled back slightly as a flower fell out of my bag, so I quickly tried to recover it. Luckily I grabbed it before it hit the ground, but also succeeded in making a fool out of myself. I blushed madly as I looked at the person who I had bumped into. He had a look of irritation as he slightly rolled his eyes, "Sorry…" I mumbled.

It was Nara Shikamaru; I had known him since I was small, in fact I used to spend a lot of time with him before we got old enough to go to the Academy. After that we just seemed to drift and now we're hardly acquaintances.

"Don't worry about it." He told me as he continued on his way, yawning loudly.

I sighed and placed the flower back into the bag, today was a normal day, like any other one. Although when I got home I saw that the house was a complete mess. "Dad?" I asked as I looked around, "Why is there stuff every… where…" My voice had phased out as I saw him packing his travel bag.

"Where are you going?" I asked him, as he rushed past me only to look for something and further mess up the house.

"There's an emergency situation in the Sand country, I have to head out there tonight to handle a rare flower that they found a couple of hours ago." My dad sluggishly told me as he finished up his bag.

"How long will you be gone?" I asked him holding the lilies in my hand slightly tighter.

"A couple of months darling. This is a flower that shows up only once a generation and I'm the only one close enough who's qualified to properly care for it. We want to make full use of it for medicines." He explained to me as he finally slowed down and stood in front of me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"But wait, what about me, am I going with you?" I questioned as his expression changed to one I couldn't read.

"Well… you're going to stay with a friend of mine. Everything's all worked out so all you have to do is pack your bags and head there before dark, alright?" He told me as he grabbed his bag.

"Who am I going to stay with…?" I kept on asking questions.

By now I was used to my dad leaving on trips, but usually it was only a few days. This is the first time that he's going to leave for a couple of months. So needless to say that this wasn't coming as that huge of a shock to me. My father stopped in front of me and kissed my forehead as he told me, "You're going to stay with the Nara's. I happened to see Yoshino on the way home and she graciously accepted."

"Oh…"

"Now be a good girl while I'm gone alright?" My dad asked me as I nodded (of course) and saw him off with a few other ninja that were escorting him to the Sand Country.

Once I got back home I looked around at the mess and decided to clean up before I left. Picking up pieces of clothes on the floor gave me time to think. After I had done cleaning, and placing my flowers into a vase and went to my room and began packing. My room was quite small, but I didn't need much space since I was usually out most of the day either researching flowers or acquiring them.

I sighed once I was all packed and took one last look at my house, "Well, I'll be seeing you in a few months…" I told it as I closed the door and locked it.

* * *

"What? She's coming to stay here?" Shikamaru asked irritated as his mother began to explain to him the situation.

"Yes she is. Her father was in a bind and asked me if she could stay here while he was gone. I agreed since we have the room." Yoshino explained to him.

"Ah come on Shikamaru, you and her were quite the friends when you were young." His father, Shikaku told him as they ate at the dinner table.

"When we were young. We're not two years old anymore." Shikamaru started, "I don't get why she can't stay at some girls house, like Ino or Sakura or something." He mumbled as he continued eating.

"Shikamaru, she's staying here and that's final." His mother told him as someone knocked on the door, "That must be her, so be _nice_." She stood up from the table and went to answer the door.

"How troublesome…" Shikamaru mumbled.

As I stood at the door I couldn't help but be slightly self-conscious. After all I was going to be staying at someone's house who I barely knew. My dad on the other hand was quite acquainted with them, which explains why he thought I'd be okay here.

The door opened and Yoshino-sama stood there with a smile on her face, "Yuri! Come in!" She ushered me as I slowly stepped inside looking around slightly.

"We're in the middle of dinner, would you like to join us or settle your things in your room?" Yoshino asked me as she took my bags and placed them on the floor for me.

"Uhm. Well, I haven't eaten dinner yet." I told her as nodded and gently pushed me out of my spot and over to the dinner table, pulling out a chair for me to sit.

"I'll go grab you a plate." She insisted as I nodded and looked to the floor. I felt very awkward right now and I could tell Shikaku-sama and Shikamaru-san felt the same.

Once Yoshino-sama came back and placed my plate on the table she sat back down and continued eating her plate. I quietly began to eat as there was an awkward silence. Yoshino-sama decided to break it and asked me, "So why exactly did your father leave Yuri-chan? He didn't quite specify when he had asked me."

I looked up from my plate as I opened my mouth slightly and nervously told her, "T-they found a rare flower in the Sand Country that appears once a generation. And my dad was the only one close enough that is experienced in handling the flower, as they want to make medicine out of the extracts."

"Wow that sounds interesting." She told me, but I got a sense she didn't quite know what I was referring to.

And soon the dinner was over and I began to settle my thing in my room. I sighed as someone knocked on my door. "Oh.. Uh… Come in?" I told them as I sat on my bed.

When the door opened, I saw none other than Shikamaru. "Hi…" He awkwardly stated as he stood in front of the doorway.

Talk about awkward situation…

"Hi." I told him as we both just stood there quietly. I hated when I was forced into these types of situations. The type of situation being where you have to sit the presence of someone who barely know and don't really want to know, or someone you hate. Although, I didn't necessarily hate him, but you know… It was awkward.

"So… you're going to be staying here for a while?" Shikamaru asked me as he scratched the back of his precariously.

I nodded slightly, "Hai. For a while, as I explained during dinner."

"Well that's … good? I guess… Well we haven't talked in a while."

"I know…" I sighed as I sat on my new bed.

I hope the conversations won't be this awkward from now on. Now that I'm going to stay with Shikamaru, I knew that things would be awkward, but this is _bad_. Luckily, Shikamaru's mother had cut in and decided to show me around the house.

_Thank the lord. _I thought as she showed me around. This was going to be quite the awkward couple of months…

* * *

It's now been two weeks since I moved in with the Nara's and I must say, things have been just as awkward now as they once were. Like I did at my own house, I spend most of the day out, while Shikamaru-kun and Shikaku-sama are usually out on missions. Meaning I've spent most of my time with Yoshino-san.

However, whenever I talk to Yoshino-san she usually brings up the fact that Shikamaru and I act like strangers even though we used to be excellent friends when we were small. I keep reminding her that after we entered the academy, we drifted apart and she finds that hard to believe.

At dinner tonight we were all eating, as Shikamaru-kun and Shikaku-sama had just returned from missions they've completed. It had been a while since I had the experience of living with ninjas. "Shikamaru, you should spend more time with Yuri-chan!" Yoshino-san announced.

Shikamaru looked at her oddly as he continued eating, followed with this response, "I don't have time. Tsunade keeps sending me on out of town missions."

"Are you going on a mission tomorrow?" His mother asked him as I sat there listening.

He shook his head, "No."

"Good! You're spending the day with Yuri-chan then!" Yoshino-san smiled. I swear, she's bent on getting us together as a couple (and she acts like its such a secret as well).

"Uh… Bu-" Shikamaru tried to protest.

"Son. Just listen to your mother." Shikaku-sama told him.

Shikamaru's face flushed slightly, defeated. "Fine…" _He's so whipped… _Shikamaru thought in his head.

I looked around to the people sitting at the table with me. I felt really awkward since they acted like I wasn't there, and Shikamaru acted like it was a chore to be around me. I can't blame him though, I have sort of avoided him in the past two weeks.

For example:

It was morning and I had put on my morning dress getting ready to head to the washroom. As I opened the door of my room, I saw a very sleepy and tired Shikamaru with his hair down staring me right in the eyes. You see his room just happened to be across from mine and usually I had woken up before him.

But today as I saw him my face flushed and I immediately closed my door, sliding to the floor and covering my face. Shikamaru who was still tired didn't notice how quickly I had shut my door and headed to the washroom.

Once he was in the washroom I slowly opened the door and sighed, waiting outside the door to go inside. After a while the door slowly opened and Shikamaru came out all ready to head out on a mission. I quickly snuck into the washroom without him noticing and he turned back at the door looking slightly confused, but shrugged.

That was only one of the awkward occasions between Shikamaru and I. You can imagine the rest. And now tomorrow we would have to spend all the day together… This can't turn out that well.

* * *

This morning I woke up groggily and looked outside my window. The light from the sun was shining oh so proudly on Kohona, making it an excellent day to go out. I sighed and began to get ready, putting on my usual light blue dress. After brushing my light brown hair and grabbed onto my light blue bag and decided that I would get some flowers today. Maybe that'll help to get the day going along with Shikamaru.

"Breakfast's ready!" Yoshino-san shouted as I opened my door to see two very sleepy ninjas walk down the hall and into the dining room.

I laughed slightly as I followed behind them and took my regular spot at the table. "So, have you two decided what you're going to do today?" Yoshino-san sprayed out happily, as she placed the plates on the table.

After saying grace and beginning to eat, I spoke up to answer her question, "No… We have yet to decide what to do…" I told her, picking up some of the food and placing it in my mouth.

"Oh… Well I'm sure you two will find something fun!" She grinned as both Shikamaru-kun and I moaned slightly.

Everyone could tell, even Shikaku-sama, that Shikamaru-kun and I were not the type of people to be friends, nor even acquaintances. Only Yoshino-san was blissfully ignorant to the fact.

After breakfast however, Shikamaru-kun and I were pushed outside the door gracefully by Yoshino-san. So as we walked around Kohona, Shikamaru and I looked in opposite directions avoiding eye-contact completely. "Well…" I started, "what would you like to do today?" I questioned him, still avoiding eye contact.

I heard Shikamaru-kun's clothes shift as he gave a slight shrug and stated, "I don't know."

_For someone who is a genius you would think they would be able to come up with more ideas… _I thought as we continued to walk. It was known to the entire town Shikamaru-kun's intelligence. However, only a few knew how **lazy **he was. I sighed, "Well around this time of day I usually head to the Yamanaka's. Would you like to go?" I asked him politely, turning to face him (for once).

His gaze slowly came to meet mine, as his lazy eyes met with my light blue orbs. He closed his eyes and sighed, "I suppose."

I smiled slightly as we began to head to the Yamanaka's only two blocks away. Once we arrived I was ecstatic as I looked at the new flowers that arrived that day. Shikamaru stood by the door leaning against the wall, it seemed really obvious he did not want to be there. "Yuri! And… Shikamaru?" Ino shouted out completely surprised. " I never thought Shikamaru would ever set foot in here _with a girl_." She murmured the last part.

I turned to Ino and said hello as I picked up some flowers heading towards the counter. "We just got those ones in, they're beautiful aren't they?" Ino questioned me as I nodded and told her.

"They're absolutely gorgeous." She smiled as I gave her the money needed and headed towards the door, "let's go Shikamaru-kun."

He sighed, "Hai."

"We need to find something that the both of us like to do." I spoke up as we continued our walking around the village from before.

"Hm." Was the only sound that came out of Shikamaru as I sighed and asked him, "What do you usually do?"

"Sleep."

"… And?"

"Look at clouds." He stated very briefly as he began to walk up some stairs.

I followed behind him, slightly intrigued at where he was going. At the top of the stairs was a bench, in which he sat down on, laying down immediately. I took a seat at the edge of the bench, closest to his head as we both looked up. "You mean like this?"

"Yeah." He commented as he closed his eyes slowly.

"Well… This is nice. I could get used to it." I told mainly myself out loud as I looked up and looked at the stratus clouds dead ahead.

"Mhmhm." Shikamaru mumbled as I turned to look at him and smiled slightly.

He fell asleep again.


	2. Decisions

**Decisions**

A lot of time has passed since that evening when Shikamaru fell asleep on the bench. Well actually, it's been two and a half months since then, making it just about three months since I moved in with the Nara's. "Shikamaru-kun, welcome home." I greeted him as he came through the door.

"Are you going to do that every time I come home now?" He asked me, this being the third time I've done this in a week.

"Well, do you like it when I greet you like this?" I questioned him a smile beginning to lurk its way onto my face.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Ok! I'll do this every time you come home." I smiled, as he shook his head and walked past me to the living room, sitting down on a couch.

"What's the matter Shikamaru-kun?" I asked him sitting beside him on the couch, tilting my head slightly.

As you can see, the original awkwardness is gone now.

"Troublesome women." He mumbled while placing his hand over his eyes. "First in the mission today, and now when I get home. I can't get away from them." He continued to blabber.

I laughed slightly, "Women are important Shikamaru-kun. You shouldn't mistreat or disrespect them." I told him standing up and grabbing my bag, "I'm going to get some flowers, would you like to come?" I asked him politely.

He looked at me with weary eyes, as if asking "Do I really have to?" I stood there waiting for a response, when he sighed and stood up, "Alright, I'll go." He agreed, followed by a sigh.

As we walked into the Yamanaka's flower shop, Ino's mother greeted the both of us, "Good afternoon. Good to see you both."

I nodded, "Nice to see you too. What kind of flowers do you have in today?" I asked her as I walked over to the counter, Shikamaru-kun taking his normal spot, leaning on the wall.

"Well actually, we ordered some flowers from the water country because the medical ninja needed it, but we received one we didn't order. I was wondering if you could figure out what it was; it's not in any of my books."

I was now standing at the counter when Ino's mother brought out the flower. "Oh wow." I took one at it, knowing immediately what it was, "This is quite rare. Wow, and it's almost in bloom. That's amazing." I looked in awe at the purple, yellow and pink flower.

"What is it?" She questioned me again, looking at the flower.

"Strelitzia Parviflora. Usually around 4 inches tall, requires full sun for optimal flowering, but partial shade to produce more attractive leaves. Average amount of water needed and can grow all year." I listed off the fact of the flower off the top of my head, opening my bag and pulling out a book.

"Surprisingly, I just read about this flower yesterday," I told her, flipping through the pages, "Ah, there it is. That's how it looks in full bloom." I pointed to the picture and showed her.

"It becomes very beautiful. Different, but beautiful. Don't you agree?" I asked her as she nodded.

I smiled. This is what I'm good at. Flowers. "So by the looks of it, it's bound to bloom any day. You're very lucky to have that shipped by mistake." I laughed slightly; she really didn't know how lucky she was. In Kohona, we hardly get any interesting flowers, so a lot of the interesting flowers I've seen it's only been in books. My father is so lucky that he gets to go all over the place to see these flowers in person.

"How about you take this flower Yuri? I think you deserve it." She asked me politely.

"Oh no! I don't have the proper set up at the Nara's for this type of thing. If I was at my house still, I could take it on, but I can't now. You should keep the flower here and just follow the conditions it says in this book." I advised her.

"Alright Yuri, if you insist. Let me just copy down these conditions for the flower." She told me grabbing a pen and paper and began to copy down the instructions from the book.

I nodded, and looked back at Shikamaru-kun. He always stood there and looked bored whenever we came into the flower shop. Although this time he seemed a little intrigued. "What is it?" I asked him as he came over.

"It's interesting how you were able to remember all that about the flower. It just surprises me." He commented as he looked over to the flower, "You really like flowers huh?"

I giggled slightly, "Of course, I intend on making it my career and my life basically. Well, they already are pretty much." I told him as Ino's mother finished with the book and handed it to me.

"Thank you so much Yuri-chan, for your help, you can pick out any flower you'd like." She told me as I smiled and nodded.

"Arigato."

After picking out a pink carnation, I held it in my hands as Shikamaru and I left the shop. "Why do you always get flowers everyday? What's the point if they're just going to die." Shikamaru seemed to be a bit curious for once. Very surprising.

"That's exactly the point. If they're going to die then they need to live out their lives instead of sitting in a shop being admired. I place these flowers in places in hopes that some time later, someone will come by and it'll brighten their day. Flowers are meant to bring happiness, that's why they're sold in the first place. So helping that process, I'm helping these flowers to fulfill their purpose." I explained to him as we walked through the village.

I stopped once I was done and looked at him and smiled. There was this odd kind of look on his face, like he was looking to see if I really believed in what I just said. "That makes sense." Was all that came out of his mouth, as I laughed.

"Didn't think it was that complex huh?" I said with a hint of laughter in my voice.

"It's not all that complex." He told me, becoming flushed and slightly annoyed. "I just didn't think you thought that much about it. That's all."

I was about to reply when Shizune interrupted us. "Sorry to interrupt you two love birds, but I'm going to have to steal Yuri-chan here for a bit." The brunette explained as she walked up to us.

Both of our faces became flushed as we both quickly tried to explain that we weren't love birds of any sort, but it just came out as gibberish. The medic-nin laughed, "I'm only kidding you two. It's so cute how you two react in such a stereotypical way." She told us as she pulled me along, all the way to hokage's mansion leaving a confused Shikamaru-kun behind.

Once we were in Tsunade's office she leaned on her desk, picked up a folder and looked at me, "Before we start Yuri, I was looking over your file and I was surprised to see you went to the ninja academy. Why did you drop out?" Shizune asked me very bluntly.

Taken a little aback by her… well frank attitude I replied, "Oh… Well I don't usually tell people but while my mother was out on a mission, she died. Leaving my father and me. And well, it had such a devastating effect on my father that I couldn't bear to do that to someone else in the future if I was to die on a mission as well." Oddly enough, I explained to her without much hesitation.

"Wow… And you were how old when this happened?"

"Only 8 years old."

She looked down for a second and breathed, "To be 8 years old and to have that sort of mentality just astounds me to be honest. I can see where you're coming from on this. I myself had put my husband through a lot. I'm just happy he was able to forgive me for all of it." She sighed contently as she put down the folder on the desk.

"Well anyways, back to the reason I stole you away from Shikamaru. We received word from your father that they discovered a lot more of the flower they were extracting. I forget the name, it was written down somewhere. But since it took him these three months to extract one of the flowers, and now there's a lot more, it's obvious that he's going to be there a little while longer. He wrote that it would take more than a year or maybe two." Shizune explained to me the situation as I stood there twirling the carnation in my hands.

"So, then will I stay with the Nara's?" I inquired, fiddling with the carnation some more.

"Well that's your decision. Your father stated that you can stay here and remain with the Nara's or you can go over to Suna and join him. And I've already spoken with Shikaku about this issue as he came by to report his mission this morning, and he told me that you were welcomed to stay if you chose to." She stopped leaning on the desk, and went around it and sat down in Tsunade's chair.

"When do I need to have my decision by?" I asked as I looked down at the soft pink petals.

"By the end of the week, so your father can make living adjustments if you decide to move over there."

I nodded as she finished, "That's it, you can go now. Report to me about your decision as soon as possible. That way we can send a carrier bird over there."

I looked back down to the carnation, and then back to Shizune. I walked over to her desk and held it out to her, "Here. Take it please." I requested.

She looked a little taken back, "Are you sure?"

I nodded and smiled, "I don't need it and I'm sure you'll find a good use for it. Besides if the hokage catches you in her chair you'll need something to distract her." I placed the flower on the desk, as Shizune laughed nervously.

* * *

A few days later and my decision still wasn't made. This was a chance to see the flowers in person and handle them! I didn't get why I just didn't really want to pack up my bags and leave. I guess I have a fondness of Kohona.

The door of the house opened and Shikamaru-kun entered. He stood there a little surprised as I looked at him from the living room. I had sort of been avoiding him since Shizune told me about my father. "I thought you said you were going to greet me every time I came home." He told me sitting beside me on the couch, sort of like how I sat beside him on the couch a few days ago.

"Remember when Shizune pulled me away the other day?" He nodded as I continued, "well she told me that my father was going to stay in Suna a lot longer then expected, and asked me if I wanted to move out there with him. I need to tell her my decision by tomorrow and I'm still at a loss at what to do." I sighed as I looked down at my legs, fidgeting slightly.

Shikamaru-kun sighed deeply, as if he was annoyed slightly. Probably some more 'troublesome' women or something. Or maybe he would change it up today and say 'What a drag.' But what he said next surprised me, "I think you have your mind made up already. You just don't want to admit it. But… how about we go over to the bench and look at the clouds today. Looking at clouds always helps." He told me standing up.

Seeming a little out of his character I stood up and asked, "Are you just trying to get me to go over there so you can fall asleep while looking at the clouds again without any trouble from me?"

He paused for a second and had a look of panic in his face, "Uh…" Ha! I caught him!

I laughed and shook my head, "Well, it worked. Now come on." I told him heading to the door and walking out.

With a sigh of relief Shikamaru-kun followed and we headed out to the bench. As we arrived we took our usual spots, he sat there looking up as I placed my palms to either side of myself and swinging my feet below me. I looked up to the sky, as it showed a nice deep blue with a few clouds here and there. Not much to look at today, but then again the colour of the sky was more then enough to marvel anyone. I love how Kohona just had that perfect weather, which is ideal when it comes to regular gardening.

Then it hit me, the weather in Suna is hot and dry as my father told me in letters and the lifestyle there was just different. And I just didn't want to leave behind the life I had here in Kohona. The village, the flowers, and its people. I just didn't want to go.

I spoke up, "You were right; I already knew what I wanted…"

"And?" He questioned without looking away from the sky.

"I'm going to stay."

"That's good." He told me as he yawned and laid down, placing his head in my lap.

I blinked and looked at him for a second wondering what the heck he was doing. "S-Shikamaru-kun?" I asked, a faint blush appearing on my face.

But he didn't reply, he simply fell asleep again. I guess he didn't notice his head was on my lap for I don't think he would do that on purpose, I thought and looked back up to the sky. "I could get used to this." I stated out loud and smiled.

What I didn't notice though, was that some ninja that just returned to the village saw Shikamaru-kun and I. One of them stopped and commented, "AW. Isn't that cute Sakura? Isei?" A spiky blonde haired one, that I knew as Naruto told the two other girls he was traveling with.

"Naruto, stop spying on other people's business!" The pink haired girl, Sakura, hit him on the head. Although she couldn't help but giggle at the cuteness of the situation.

"OW. Sheesh. Fine, I'll stop." He told her as he rubbed his head.


	3. The Sky's Realization

**The Sky's Realization**

I smiled as I found the perfect place for today's flower. I gently fell onto my knees and placed the daisy onto the small box that laid in the corner of a building surrounded by the busy marketplace. _I'm sure someone will find it here_, I thought as I stood up and wiped the dirt off my knees. "Sukai Yuri?" A ninja who suddenly appeared beside me (and scared me slightly) asked.

I nodded as he continued, "The fifth requests your presence immediately." His face was covered by a mask and he had the usual ninja attire on.

I blinked and nodded, telling him that I would head there immediately. And as quickly as he came, the ninja jumped and left without another word. I wonder what this is about, I pondered as I began to walk over to the Hokage's manor.

On my way there, I began admiring the sky as I walked by the many buildings. I was then reminded of that day three weeks ago, when Shikamaru's head had somehow made it onto my lap. The funny part is, he didn't even notice when he woke up.

As my cerulean eyes peered at the deep blue sky, I felt Shikamaru fidgeted slightly as he woke up. I looked back down quickly as he sat up and stretched before he had even opened his eyes. Yawning, the Nara turned to me, "Hey. What time is it?" He asked me slightly dazed.

My face began to turn red, and was slowly becoming redder each second. "Oh! It's… around 7pm I guess. It's getting slightly dark." I told him as I quickly stood up grabbing my bag, "Lets head back home before it gets dark." I told him grabbing his arm and pulling him off the bench.

"Alright, alright. You don't have to haul me along. I can walk you know." He notified me as I let go and nodded vigorously, trying my hardest not to let him see my blush.

As we walked he looked at me slightly confused, "Yuri, you okay?" He questioned raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

I nodded, "P-perfectly fine!"

"Okay…" He quietly said as he rolled his eyes and looked in the other direction.

If he didn't remember then I wasn't going to tell him. I'm sure no one saw and he didn't need to know about it. It would just cause unnecessary awkwardness. I told myself as I reached the manor and knocked onto the door of the fifth, coming in. "Shizune-san, you wanted to see me?"

The woman in front of me was standing at Tsunade's desk looking at some papers when I spoke. She quickly raised her head, her hair shuffled slightly with the sudden move. "Good! Yuri. I need you to identify a poisonous flower. Tsunade would have asked you this, but right now she's busy trying to get the majority of the poison from the berries of the flower out of a ninja was stupid enough to eat." Shizune-san immediately told me as she gave me a piece of paper.

"They couldn't actually get the flower, but another ninja on the mission drew it out the best he could. Usually we'd ask your father, but he's in Suna, and I know its not all that detailed but-" I had cut off Shizune to tell her the information about the flower.

"The Yesterday-today-and-tomorrow plant. Scientific name _Brunfelsia pauciflora_, needs full sun, but can survive in some shade. It grows to about 3-8 feet tall, 2-5 feet wide and appears in three colours, changing as it matures. Purple, pale lavender, and then white." I listed off the facts from my memory (I have to say, I have a good memory).

She blinked and looked at me confused, "How the heck did you…" She couldn't complete her sentence as she just stood there stunned.

"I have a good memory." I informed her as she still looked completely astounded. Guess it doesn't take much to impress her.

She shook her head for a second as she quickly stated, "Here, write that stuff down, and anything else you know about the flower for Tsunade. She needs it ASAP." Shizune handed me a pencil as I quickly wrote down all I the things I had knew about the Yesterday-today-and-tomorrow plant.

After I handed her the paper, she walked outside hurriedly and handed it to a ninja that was standing guard, telling them to get it Tsunade quickly. She came back inside the room and beamed, "Thank you so much Yuri, you've just saved someone's life."

I grinned as I felt, well, excited. Not every day you get to save someone's life because of your knowledge of plants and flowers. "It's no problem; I just have a really good memory." I explained as she sat back down in her desk. It must be boring, sitting at a desk all day I thought.

"That memory of yours would have made you a good ninja. I personally think, you should have never quit." Shizune revealed to me as I blinked and looked at her the way she was looking at me a couple of minutes ago.

"I-I don't think so. Sure I have a good memory, but it's not like I can fight or anything." I told her modestly.

"Fighting you can learn. Your ability to remember things... It's not something you can learn through hard work. It's a wonderful gift you were given and you should cherish that." She let me know as I nodded and smiled slightly.

"I guess."

"Ah, well. You can go now. I have some work to do unfortunately." Shizune-san rolled her eyes slightly as she ushered me out quickly.

I sighed and began to walk out of the manor. Along the way I was thinking about the time three weeks ago. _Why did I say I could get used to that? It was just a one-time thing, since it hasn't happened since then. But then again, Shikamaru-kun has been really and I haven't really seen him lately. _

Once I was outside I was greeted by Sakura-chan coming out of the building looking completely tired. I suppose she was helping out Tsunade with the poisoned ninja. "Yuri-chan, your information about that flower came at the perfect time," She emphasized 'perfect', "Turns out we already had an antidote for that poison in stock." She notified me as she sat down on a bench with a large sigh.

"I'm glad I could help." I told her as she looked at me with a weary face. It looked like she had been working for hours on end.

"You know…" The medical ninja started, "Everyone is talking about you and Shikamaru. What's going on between the two of you anyways? Are you two dating?" Sakura asked me with a playful tone in her voice.

I blushed slightly, "W-What do you mean **dating**?" I asked her as she giggled slightly.

"Well, how about that time three weeks ago Shikamaru had his head on your lap hmm?" She questioned as if she was hinting at something. The cherry haired girl didn't seem so tired anymore.

_What? She saw! I didn't think anyone knew about it! And what? People are talking about us? Why? It's not like we're a couple or anything… _I pondered as I told Sakura, "There's nothing going on. We're just friends." I nodded and noticed the flower Sakura had in her hair, a daisy.

"Awww. You're no fun! You two would be such a cute couple." Sakura grinned as I stood there awkwardly.

"Well, I should go now." I tried to get out of there as fast as I could. I was getting redder and redder by the second.

"Going to see Shikamaru are you?" Sakura winked as she stood up and laughed.

I lowered my head as her laughter continued, "I'm joking, I'm joking. If you say you two are friends I believe you. I couldn't help but ask." Sakura divulged as I slowly smiled.

"Well… Bye…" I waved as I walked off, heading back to my current home, the Nara's.

_Me and Shikamaru a couple? No way. We are just friends. That's it. _

* * *

As I was on my way home I stopped to admire some flowers a merchant had in his shop. _They look so beautiful _I thought as I looked at the deep blue petals of the flower with a thin stem and rigid leaves. "It's too bad they're so expensive," I sighed as my eyes continued to stare at the wonderful petals.

Someone who was walking by stopped and noticed me looking at the flower longingly. They placed their hand on my shoulder as I jumped slightly, and turn around quickly. "Didn't mean to scare you Yuri." Shikamaru explained as he placed his hand back into his pocket.

"Shikamaru-kun! When did you get back from your mission?" I asked him gripping my bag slightly.

"Just now." Shikamaru-kun simply stated as he looked at the flower I was admiring, "You like that flower?"

I nodded, a small blush slowly creeping onto my face. _What's with all the blushing lately? _I inquired to myself as I turned to the flower. "I thought the colour of the flower looked amazing." I commented as he examined the flower, taking his hand out of his pocket and lifting it up.

As his brown eyes glimpsed upon the night blue colour of the petals, he quietly asked, "You want it?"

Shikamaru's gaze remained fixated on the flower; his face solemn and tired from a long day's work. "Well…?" he turned his gaze to me, his eyes looking into mine.

"S-sure." I nodded again as he pulled out his wallet and paid the merchant, handing me the flower afterwards.

"Here." His voice remained quiet, his eyes looking into mine. But then our moment was shattered as he continued, "And don't go putting it somewhere for someone else like you always do. I got that for you, not for some annoying kid or something." Shikamaru told me as we began to walk down the busy street.

I smiled wide and told him, "I promise this one I will definitely keep."

"Good." He said looking at the darkening sky, "hey Yuri, do you want to grab a bite to eat before we head home. I'm starving, and quite frankly, I want to taste some good food tonight. Not my mother's horrible crap."

"Sure, why not. I haven't eaten all day." I revealed to him holding onto my growling stomach.

* * *

After a bit of time of looking around, we had finally settled on Korean Barbeque, the place he regularly went with his team. As we entered, he was immediately greeted by his close friend, Akimichi Choji. "Shikamaru! What brings you here?" The large teen asked as the two of us sat down at the table with him.

"We came to get some food, what else?" Shikamaru said as he picked up some of the meat off the barbeque and took a bite.

"H-Hey! That was my food Shikamaru!" Choji was startled slightly as Shikamaru spoke up.

"What? I'm hungry."

"A-Ah, here, let me order some more food Choji-kun." I told him as I called on the waiter and ordered some more food.

"So Shikamaru, how's things been lately? I've hardly seen ya." Choji questioned as I took some barbeque and took a large bite.

"I've been tired, I hardly get to sleep, and everyone seems to be in a cranky mood lately." Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he took a bite out of his food.

Choji chuckled, "Still the same old Shikamaru I see."

I observed the two childhood friends as they conversed and laughed. I quietly ate my food as they spoke of past missions, things they did together on their spare time and their former sensei, Asuma. After a while, they stopped talking and turned their attention to me, "So Yuri, what have you been up to lately?" The Akimichi questioned me as he took his millionth bite of his barbeque.

Slightly surprised that Choji-kun acknowledged me, I finished chewing and swallowed my food before responding. "Oh, I've just been doing what I always do. Researching flowers and plants, and helping out some places here and there for money." I explained to him as I wiped my mouth with my white napkin.

"You left out one more thing." Choji nodded as he swallowed his food.

"What's that?" I looked at him slightly perplexed.

"Spending time with good ol' Shikamaru here." He laughed and smiled, looking at Shikamaru.

"Yeah, yeah." Shikamaru shrugged it off, as I sat there quietly, blushing yet again.

"Seriously you guys. Everyone's talking about you two." Choji clarified as he took yet another bite.

"I heard." I spoke up, "Sakura-chan was just talking to me today about it."

"How annoying. Why don't people just keep out of our business." Shikamaru commented as he took a sip of his drink.

The Nara sat there relaxed. I don't get why I have to get so worked up about things when Shikamaru is able to so easily shrug things off. That's one of the things I admired about him, his ability to unwind.

Once we finished our meal, we had said goodbye to Choji and began to head home. I held the expensive flower Shikamaru bought in my hand as we walked, "So what did you do today before I saw you?" Shikamaru-kun asked me.

"I got my flower as usual, and then the fifth called me. Turns out some ninja was poisoned by a plant and she needed me to identify it. " I explained to him, fidgeting with the flower in my hand.

_Why am I so fidgety and embarrassed lately? It's like I… _I cut off my thought as Shikamaru spoke up once again, "What flower was it?"

"It was a yesterday-today-and-tomorrow flower."

"What the… Why the hell do flowers have to have such weird names like that. With all those names, doesn't it give you a headache trying to remember all that crap?" Shikamaru-kun commented as I laughed.

"Yeah it really can. Especially if a plant name is 10 or more words long." I pointed out as we reached the house.

Once we were inside I yawned and placed my bag down, "well I'm worn out. I'm going to bed Shikamaru-kun."

"All right, good night Yuri." Shikamaru nodded and waved off to me as he fell onto the couch, immediately dosing off.

I smiled as I leaned down and rested my elbows on the top of the couch, holding my face up with my hands. "Good night Shikamaru-kun. Thank you for the flower." I whispered as he shuffled slightly, turning onto his left side. _I guess I like you… Nara Shikamaru… _I grinned as I stood up, and headed to my room.

After I walked into my room I grabbed a blue vase I had in a cupboard. I filled it with tap water from the washroom and placed it on top of my nightstand. I looked at the azure flower and dropped it into the vase. _This is one flower that I'll make sure to always remember._


	4. The Sky's Awareness

**The Sky's Awareness**

"Ah, man. It's sure been a while since the four of us has been on a mission!" Naruto announced as he was surrounded by Shikamaru, Kiba and Choji.

Remaining quiet, Shikamaru and Choji watched Naruto and Kiba converse. "Yeah, more than two years! Whew, we make a good team though." Kiba noted as Naruto nodded.

"We failed that mission remember? A good team doesn't fail missions. But then again, at least none of us were killed that time." Shikamaru commented as he jumped from branch to branch, sounding a little surprised.

The four of them were assigned to protect someone from the Mist during an event being held in Kohona. It was believed that some ninja were going to try to kidnap or kill the main attraction of the event, a so called "Goddess" during their travel to the village. Thus four "strong and very smart" ninja were sent as a personal request of the Goddess.

* * *

"What the?" Tsunade spoke aloud as she looked down to the mission request paper below.

"What is it?" Shizune asked at the same time as she peered over Tsunade's shoulder and read the mission request, howling in laughter afterwards.

"Is this serious?" Shizune started as she imitated a stuck up, princess like character as she read the paper aloud: " 'I request that 4 or more of Kohona's strongest, bravest, most intelligent, noble and courteous ninja come to defend me at my beck and call as I make the long and horrendous trip to Kohona from my village of Mist.' "

Tsunade looked at the paper in disbelief as she sighed and handed it to her assistant. "What? What do you want me to do with this?" Shizune blinked as she looked at the paper.

"Since you asked for more responsibility I decided to start giving you missions to see over. Starting with this one." Tsunade advised in a serious matter.

Shizune sighed as she began to walk out of Tsunade's office, "I'm going to have to make this an A mission. Because whoever has to put up with this chick is going to deserve it…" She thought vocally to herself.

* * *

"Can you believe this is an A ranked mission? I thought something like this would only be B ranked." Choji questioned Shikamaru as they continued on their way to the village.

"Usually missions like this are B or even C ranked. I have no clue why this is an A. I guess we'll find out when we get there…" Shikamaru sighed, hoping that he wasn't getting into something big.

As the four of them crossed the Naruto bridge, Naruto sighed and reminisced of his last mission in the Mist. _Things are a lot different now_, he thought to himself as the group headed towards the house where the 'honoured' guest lived. Once they arrived at a quite large house, Naruto knocked on the door as they all stood there. "Welcome." A maid greeted as the door opened and she let them in, "Ms. Mitsuyu is waiting for you just down this hall."

At the end of the hall was a room that was poorly decorated. Well, poor isn't the word, tacky better suits the way the room looked. "Are these the strongest, bravest, most intelligent, noble and courteous ninja of Kohona I asked for?" A smooth voice came out as the four of them looked at the carrier of the voice oddly.

Munashii Mitsuyu had long blonde tresses that reached well below her waist and deep red eyes. She was dressed in an elegant silk kimono and held a stare of superiority, yet… also a stare of stupidity. "Yeah, that's us." Kiba looked around at the others. They were obviously not 'the strongest, bravest… whatever else she said' he thought to himself as everyone thought some sort of form of that.

"Good!" She smiled as she stood up, "We need to head to Kohona immediately! I was supposed to be there 3 days ago." She murmured the last part.

A little startled by Mitsuyu the four of them stood there as she began to walk away, "H-hey! It's already dark outside; we're not going to travel when it's dark." Kiba told her, being the only one to speak at the moment.

"Whhaatttttt? You're telling me you can't travel during night? I thought you were the strong-" Mitsuyu started but was cut off by Shikamaru.

"We were just traveling, and not to mention all of us had just returned to the village from other missions when we were sent here immediately. We're tired, and we're going to stay the night whether you choose to or not." He told her indifferently as she sighed loudly.

Shikamaru looked at her and rolled his eyes, "So where can we stay?"

"I suppose you can stay here, we have plenty of extra rooms." She puffed out as she sat back down in her chair, obviously disappointed. _A little overdramatic? _Everyone thought as the maid showed them to some rooms and told them food was to be prepared later in the evening.

As they were eating, Mitsuyu was not at the dinner table and so; the four of them were relaxed and lively conversing with each other. "So Shikamaru, you got to tell us, what's going on with you and Yuri?" Kiba brought up as he stuffed his mouth with the food.

Choji who was sitting next to Shikamaru, leaned towards him and whispered "told you everyone's talking about it." He nodded as he took a bite.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and sighed, "How the hell does everyone know about this kind of stuff?"

"The girls told us." Kiba and Naruto voiced at the same time.

"Figures," he shook his head and took a bite.

"So? What's going on? Sakura and I were just back from a mission when," Naruto started but Kiba continued for him, "Oh yeah! I heard this, when you had your head on her lap!"

"Yeah! That's it!" Naruto gave Kiba a high-five as if knowing the fact was some sort of feat.

Shikamaru's face reddened slightly as he asked Naruto, "Wait, so it's your fault that people are talking?"

"I guess. Why?" Naruto blinked as Shikamaru punched him in the face and he fell back twitching. Kiba and Choji began to cackle in laughter as Shikamaru continued to eat his food, not amused. _I do one thing and next thing you know, the whole world wants to know everything. How annoying. _He thought.

* * *

The next day as the group arrived at Kohona they escorted Mitsuyu to a hotel and then headed their separate ways. Naruto went to go report to Shizune while Shikamaru headed home to get some rest after a long and horrible journey back.

The entire way to Kohona, Mitsuyu kept asking everyone questions about everything from missions, to their love lives. Needless to say, at the end of the mission, everyone realized why it was ranked higher than usual escort missions. Shikamaru opened the door sluggishly and walked in, "Shikamaru-kun! Welcome home!" I greeted him with a large smile.

Shikamaru-kun looked at me slightly amused as he closed the door and removed his shoes, "Still greeting me when I get home I see." He divulged as his mother shouted that it was time for dinner.

"Got home just in time for some good food." I commented as the two of us sat down at the table in our usual spots.

Shikamaru looked at me oddly when I said 'good food' as his mother stepped into the room. "Shikamaru! When did you get home?" Yoshino-san asked as she placed my plate in front of me, "Let me get you a plate right away!" She told him as she ran off quickly. - Sky's Content - 24

"What the hell is this?" Shikamaru looked down at the food that was placed in front of him with a surprised face.

"It's called food." Yoshino-san explained to her son as she sat down at the table and began to eat; all the while Shikamaru-kun's face remained disgusted.

I laughed slightly as Shikamaru rolled his eyes and picked up his fork, "This is crap compared to what I ate last night…" He mumbled and slowly began to eat.

Smiling, I began to eat my own food as I turned to Shikamaru-kun and asked him about his mission, "So how did your mission go?"

"Horrible. The woman we had to escort was **extremely **annoying." He explained as I giggled slightly.

"She can't have been that annoying, could she?" I asked as he lifted his head from his food and gave me a tired, sarcastic gaze. "That bad?" I questioned again.

He nodded and sighed, as he continued to eat his food. Every time I would chew my food I caught myself glancing at Shikamaru. I'm sure Yoshino-san noticed it. I blushed slightly as I tried my hardest to keep my gaze on my food and not the young man sitting across from me.

Once I almost done my meal (although I couldn't really eat anymore), Shikamaru's vocal chords vibrated and he asked, "You done yet Yuri?" I blinked and nodded slightly as he continued, "Wanna go outside?" He sounded very tired, but then again, he's been doing missions pretty much non-stop. I wish they would give him a break every once in a while.

Grinning I stood up enthusiastically, "Sure! We haven't done that in weeks!" The tone in my voice was excited and cheerful.

"Come on." Shikamaru ushered me a long as we put on our shoes and left the house, heading for what else? The bench so we can look at the clouds that remained before dark.

After some walking, we had almost arrived at our destination when the Nara beside me spoke up, "So I figured out who's been doing all that talking." Shikamaru began as I turned to him, my head tilted slightly in confusion, "It was stupid Naruto. He saw when I had my head on your lap and blabbed to everyone." He shook his head as he began to go up the stairs.

I stood still for a second quickly thinking, _Wait? So Shikamaru did that on __**purpose**__? I thought he didn't know… _"Yuri, what's wrong?" Shikamaru raised a curious eyebrow as I shook my head running up the stairs to catch up with him.

"Nothing." I told him as I hurriedly walked up the rest of the stairs to hide my flushed face. I sat down on the bench and put my hands on my knees slowly tracing the pattern of the dress with my fingers.

Shikamaru sighed and sat beside me, _What's with her? _he thought as he shrugged and yawned. "Yuri, do you mind if I put my head on your lap?" he asked me as he looked to the sky, avoiding eye contact.

Shocked I looked up quickly and panicked slightly, "W-…" I was about to ask why, but I cut myself off, starting to quickly think. Shikamaru had been on very tiring missions lately, and I'm sure the bench was uncomfortable to place your head on. So forgetting my panic and my feelings, I decided to just let Shikamaru relax.

I nodded smiling, "Go ahead. I'm sure you're very tired." My voice rang out in a way it never has before. It's hard to describe, it was smooth, slow but regularly paced. Low, but loud enough to hear, but mostly contented.

He smiled slightly as he adjusted himself and looked up to the sky, "The bench end was beginning to annoy me. Nowhere near comfortable." He whispered as he began to close his eyes groggily.

_Thought so_. I thought as I laughed and placed my hands on either side of me and looked up, "Hey that cloud looks like a flower." I pointed one out to him as he opened his lazy eyes.

"It looks like the one I gave you." He said looking at the cloud in the sky.

I smiled, "Yeah it does."

* * *

Later on in the evening as Shikamaru and I were heading home, the sky was pitch-dark, with thousands of stars shining down on us. The village was filled with people, a lively atmosphere consuming it. Today was one of the few festival days we had in Kohona, and I was quickly heading home to change into a kimono so I could head to the festival in the proper attire. At first Shikamaru-kun didn't go at all, but after I asked to him to, he agreed; well… He gave in after about 20 minutes of annoying him.

The main event of this festival was a 'Goddess' from the Mist that performed tricks and dances with the help of jutsus. Apparently, it was quite a sight to see her perform as not only was she beautiful, her jutsus were so well incorporated it appeared like she was doing magic.

After I had changed, I ushered the Nara along, hurrying him so we could get to the heart of the festival sooner. I always loved festivals; so much colour, wonderful sites and things to do… But most of all, the atmosphere and mood given off by them. Everyone there basically just… happy. "Shikamaru-kun! Hurry up. You're so slow." I pouted slightly as I ran ahead.

Shikamaru's eyes rolled as he continued to walk at the same normal pace. "Urgh… It doesn't matter if I get there two minutes after you. You're still going to run off most likely…" He mumbled the last part as I stopped and gawked at him.

"I am not going to run off!" I told him and ran ahead, running off… Boy was that contradictory.

The lazy young man sighed and stopped. _Thank god she didn't force me to change into a robe. Now __**that **__would have been troublesome. _Shikamaru had thought as he continued to slowly walk.

As I ran off ahead I began to enter the edge of the festival. People slowly began to crowd around booths and stages around me, smiling wide, I looked around and took in the view in front of me. Although, something caught my eye, a person with long pale hair and a deep red kimono was picking at someone's home garden. Noticing which garden and which flowers the person was picking at, I immediately ran up to them and explained, "You mustn't touch those. Ms. Yamanaka and I have been growing these flowers for over a month and they're almost at bloom."

The flaxen haired women who was about to pull out one of the flowers, turned to me with a malevolent expression. "They're only flowers, if I pick them now or later it won't make a difference. They'll still die." A hint of malice could be found in her voice.

"Yes I'm aware of that, but those flowers aren't yours for the taking. And not to mention a lot of effort went into growing those. Picking them now would be completely redundant and dim-witted on your part." I notified the unknown woman.

"Are you calling me stupid? Because I assure you I am smart enough to know how flowers work." The woman was now becoming quite annoyed at me.

Becoming irritated myself, I enlightened her, "Well, you don't seem smart enough to know what's yours and what is not. And I'm pretty sure you don't know the intricate details that are involved in growing a rare flower such as this."

The blonde haired woman stood up completely infuriated now, "Do you know who I am, I do **not **deserve this sort of treatment." She shouted as I stood up as well.

"I am sorry but you cannot go barging into others things, even if they are just flowers." I felt like I was demeaning the flowers, but then again, I was becoming quite irritated and I didn't know how to get through to her.

Growling slightly (yes, growling), the woman raised her arms and shoved me slightly as I took a few steps back. "Who the hell do you think you are?" She shouted stepping forward and getting ready to push me again.

_Oh boy, what did I get myself into. _I closed my eyes for a brief second as someone stood in front of me. "Mitsuyu. What the hell do you think you're doing?" Shikamaru-kun had asked her, completely unfazed by her push.

"Shikamaru-san! This… This…Thing! Told **me **to leave these flowers alone! I only wanted them for my ac-" Mitsuyu began to explain as Shikamaru-kun (who is now my saviour) cut her off.

"Yuri isn't just something. She's a human being just like you, and a better one at that. And, what gives you the right to take something that doesn't belong to you? You're such a spoiled brat." He told her as he turned to me, "Come on Yuri, let's go." My saviour instructed me as he walked past Mitsuyu as I followed behind in suit.

Mitsuyu appeared completely shocked as I peered back at her. She wailed her arms around in a fit and walked off, leaving the flowers alone. "You know her Shikamaru-kun?" I asked as I turned my attention back him, looking at the back of his brown hair.

"That was the woman I had to escort to the village today." He clarified as he looked back at me, "She didn't hurt you, did she?" A slightly concerned look in his eyes appeared as he questioned me.

I shook my head, "Nope. Didn't hurt me one bit. I'm not as fragile as you think I am." I stuck out my tongue at him and laughed.

He smiled and shook his head, giving off a slight laugh. "Come on Yuri, you said you wanted to see the festival, so let's see it." His hands pocketed, turning his head to the event in front of him.

"Ok!" I grinned as I ran ahead of Shikamaru slightly, stopping about five feet in front of him. I looked back and pouted once again, running back to him and grabbing a hold of his arm. I began to pull him along as I tried to get him to go faster. "You need to learn how to stop being so slow!" I chimed as he groaned. However, instead of thinking how troublesome this situation was, after he had groaned, his lips held the slightest of smiles instead.


	5. When You Show Me You Care

When You Show Me You Care

He quietly knocked on the door in front of him, and opened it as he peered inside the room. He stepped in slowly and looked over to the desk where Tsunade sat, reading over some papers, "You called for me Tsunade-sama?" Stopping a few feet away from Tsunade's desk, he stood there waiting to hear what mission she had for him next.

Tsunade looked up to Shikamaru and placed the papers in her hand down onto her desk, and rested her arms on the arm rests at her sides. "There was a special request made for you to do a complete a certain mission," she began and sighed loudly, "Its one you're not going to like."

Shikamaru looked at her a little puzzled; one he's not going to like? Probably some woman involved he thought. Tsunade paused, leaned back and continued, "Munashii Mitsuyu requests that you escort her throughout the village for the rest of her visit starting tomorrow."

The Nara raised his eyebrow as he scratched his forehead, "_She_ requested it? I thought that she would dislike me after what happened at the festival." He inquired in surprise, after the incident with Yuri he wasn't sure how his terms with her were.

Tsunade nodded, her blonde hair swaying to the side slightly, "She requested this the day after the festival, but you had gone for your last mission. I suggested another ninja, but she refused and said if she had to stay in the village past her intended stay, she would."

A little disturbed by Mitsuyu's sudden interest in him, Shikamaru quickly became deep in thought. _Just what is she planning?_ He thought to himself quietly as Tsunade finished telling him the details of the mission. "Tomorrow you're going to escort her and show her around. Now considering she's quite well known back in the Mist, treat her well. We don't need the Mist to have a reason to hate us."

"Yes Tsunade." Shikamaru nodded and turned to leave the office. After he had left he shook his head, "How troublesome…"

* * *

"Wh-what?" My eyes widened in shock as I placed my fork down onto my plate, "You have to do what?" I asked Shikamaru again, completely confused.

Sighing deeply, it looked like he wanted to smash his head repeatedly on the table as he repeated himself, "I have to escort Mitsuyu throughout Kohona. I have no choice." He sighed again and rolled his eyes as he picked up his fork and started to eat.

"And you're escorting her around starting tomorrow?" I asked tilting my head slightly to the right as I continued to eat. It had only been a few days since the incident at the festival and let me say, some things have become awkward around the village. Mitsuyu she seemed to be everywhere, although, I had managed to avoid her each time I saw her. I don't get why she would need an escort though, as I said, she seemed to be everywhere.

"Yeah… And I have a feeling she'll want to stay for a few more days. Chances are she probably will." He mumbled as his father, Shikaku-sama laughed.

"I heard that she's quite talented, and not to mention quite the looker." He told his son, "Consider yourself lucky Shikamar-… Ow! Yoshino what was that for?" The scarred man questioned as he rubbed his temple where his wife had just hit him.

"Don't say that! I'm sure Mitsuyu is a kind person." Yoshino-san tried to assure Shikaku-sama, "And not only good looking."

Unable to contain my laughter I covered mouth and began to giggle, trying not to burst out into complete laughter. Yoshino-san turned to me a little confused, "What's so funny?" She asked as Shikamaru-kun slowly began to laugh a little as well.

My giggles soon turned into full out laughter as Shikamaru and I laughed at the thought of Mitsuyu being _kind_ and a _good person_. Confused Yoshino-san repeatedly asked what was so funny as Shikaku-sama chuckled and continued to eat his food.

The atmosphere in the Nara house was definitely different from when I first arrived.

After we ate, Shikamaru and I began to head to our rooms, "Well this can't be the worst mission you've been on before, and at least you're not risking your life or anything like that." I told Shikamaru trying to get him to look on the bright side of the situation.

"Sure. Although I'm going to really wish I could die just to get away from her. I just don't like her at all." He said quietly as we reached my room, his room being down the hall slightly.

"Why don't you like her?" I asked the Nara, as I rolled my long hair around one of my fingers. My hair has grown a considerable amount since I began to live at the Nara's, the long brown tresses had reached half way down my back and I was in need of a cut.

"Well besides the fact she has no intelligence what so ever, I don't like her because of how she treated you." Shikamaru told me as he turned to me, "Well… Good night Yuri." He nodded as he walked ahead and entered his room, closing the door behind him.

I looked at his door and sighed, placing my back against the closed door behind me. Whenever there are moments like these, my heart rate begins to accelerate. Moments where Shikamaru and I are alone and he says something to show that he cares for me. What a thing to get my heart going eh? But I can't help it, I just really like Shikamaru. I pulled myself off the door and opened it entering my room, and prepared for another night's sleep. Waiting eagerly for the next morning where I get to see Shikamaru first thing.

* * *

The next morning after preparing myself for the day, I sat at the breakfast table looking at Shikamaru's empty chair. Apparently Mitsuyu had come very early and basically dragged him out of bed before he got the chance to eat. I sighed as I continued to eat, looking at the chair for the entirety of breakfast.

After I had finished eating I stood up and put my plate away, grabbing my bag and getting ready to go outside. I opened the door and entered the village, beginning to head to the bookstore to buy the book I had ordered from the Earth country about their deciduous plants and the herbal uses to them. Recently I had been helping Tsunade and the other medical ninja out on the rarer herbal plants and the herbal plants in the other countries. It was a good way to make some money and for me to learn more about plants I wouldn't have thought to research.

Once I arrived at the bookstore I walked up to the front desk and told them I had an order waiting for me. The cashier nodded and headed into the back to find it as I placed my shoulder bag onto the desk and looked around the store. I always liked the bookstore and that 'new book smell'. Ha-ha, it's very nerdy but I just love it.

As I looked around it seemed like there was no one around, which I found a little surprising. Then out of nowhere a loud, booming voice came out from behind one of the bookcases, "Ohhh! Look at all these different flowers and plants Shika-kun!" Mitsuyu's high pitched voice called out, "aren't they all so pretty?" She laughed as I heard a grunt in reply.

I giggled a little at Shikamaru's reply as Mitsuyu's voice called out again, "will you get this book for me pretty pleaseeeee?" She asked Shikamaru as I heard him sigh and reply, "This morning when you dragged me out of my house I didn't have time to grab my wallet. So no, I can't get this book for you."

There was a slight pause and silence enshrouded the store for a brief moment, "Oh well! I'll just buy it myself then!" Mitsuyu exclaimed as she appeared from the other side of a bookcase with Shikamaru following slowly behind her. Shikamaru had looked very confused and very annoyed at the same time. I would have to say it was the perfect 'Women are troublesome' face. I assumed he looked like that because Mitsuyu had the money to buy the book she wanted, whether Shikamaru had money or not.

As she came up to the counter I looked at her with a blank stare. She scowled at me and pushed my shoulder bag off the desk, placing the book there instead. Glaring at her, I picked up my bag off the floor and sighed as the Cashier came out from the back with no book in hand, "Sukai-chan, we did receive the book, although I think the other cashier may have put it one of the bookshelves… " She told me as she looked around for the store for the bookshelf it may have been placed on. As she looked around her eye caught a glimpse of the book Mitsuyu had brought over. "Oh look! Here it is!" The Cashier picked up the book off the counter and smiled at me.

Without a word, Mitsuyu yanked the book back from the Cashier, "This is _my_ book. I found it, I want it and I am going to buy it. 'Sukai-chan' can absolutely NOT have it." She ordered bitterly to the Cashier as she gave me a nasty glare.

At the same time both Shikamaru and I raised an eyebrow at her sheer bluntness. A little offended at the rudeness of the 'Lady', I turned to the cashier and explained the importance of the book. "I need to have this book today because I'm doing research for the medic-nins on a personal request of the hokage. They're expecting my research later this week and to order another book will take another three weeks or so." _I have to say my reason sounded a lot better than 'She can NOT have it._

I could tell the Cashier did not want to upset Mitsuyu or myself, as she looked at the book contemplating what to do. She nodded and held her hand out to take the book from the conceited beauty. "I'm sorry miss, but Sukai-chan did order the book and it's our fault it ended up on the book shelf when it wasn't supposed to. So she is entitled to it, but if you look through the store and have any other book you would like to have, you can have it free of charge." The Cashier explained to Mitsuyu, trying to rectify the situation without angering anyone. I have to say she was doing a good job, too bad Mitsuyu doesn't care.

With that, she then took the book from the astonished Mitsuyu and handed it to me as I gave her the money for the book. "Thank you." I nodded and turned to Shikamaru, "I'll see you at home." I said quietly as I quickly and placed the book inside my bag. Without another word I left the store and let out a deep sigh of relief. The tension in there was so thick a butcher knife couldn't even cut it.

As I stood outside the store collecting myself, Mitsuyu's shrill screams attacked my ears, and my shoulders quickly became elevated and my eyes shut as I walked away as fast as I could, trying to get away from the noise. I really pity Shikamaru and the Cashier right now.

Later on, I was in the Yamanaka's flower shop looking for today's flower, and as I looked around I couldn't really found a flower that I thought was beautiful compared to the flower Shikamaru got me. Well, I _have_ in a sense, but none of them really had the same feeling and meaning to me. I sighed as I picked up a white rose, simple yet elegant. As I walked over to the register Ino looked at me very surprised, "wow, you taking a rose is unheard of! You usually avoid the roses like they're death." Ino laughed as she calculated the price and opened the cash register.

I laughed as I placed the rose on the counter and opened my bag to find my wallet, "You know the reason I avoid them is because they're so commonly bought," I started as both Ino and I finished off my sentence at the same time, "and there are so many more flowers that look just as nice, if not better." She shook her head and told me the price.

I handed her the money and I rolled my eyes, "What? Am I _that_ predictable?"

"A little." Ino had a playful grin playing on her face, "Where's Shikamaru today?" She asked, although her question was answered within the next couple of seconds... I guess you know what that means.

"I want a nice pretty flower! Or maybe a dozen! I wonder if this place has roses," Mitsuyu shrieked as she gleefully walked into the Yamanaka's and looked around, her eyes avoiding me at the moment. Well she was surprisingly looking everywhere BUT in my direction, a little weird. Behind her though, came a very, _very_, _**very**_, bored stiff Shikamaru, he was practically dragging his feet on the ground hoping that the slower he walked the less he had to do with her.

My eyebrow was raised once again at the sheer… detachment of this woman. She was obviously older then myself, and you would expect her to hold some maturity at least. However, she had none, and was a bit whiny and egocentric. A grin cascaded her beautiful face as her eyes finally wandered to my direction; and in an instant the grin she bared was gone. "YOU. What are _you_ doing here?" She questioned with a bitter tone in her voluptuous voice.

"I'm buying a flower; why else would I be in a flower shop?" I smiled at her as she pouted and furrowed her eyebrows. Sometimes Mitsuyu brings out this sarcasm in me I never realized I had. Oh well, not like I'm complaining.

Mitsuyu quickly turned to Shikamaru in her anger and screeched out, "Shikamaru-kun, let's go look for some flowers for me to buy." She ordered him as she grasped his arm and pulled him to the other side of the small store.

I sighed once again as I turned to Ino and began to fidget with the rose, "There's where he is."

"Why Yuri, you almost sounded jealous to her. But hey I don't blame you, if someone _that_ beautiful was spending the day with the man I liked I would freak. Then again, Sakura isn't anywhere close to beautiful so I have nothing to worry about," Ino mumbled the last part as a blush crept its way onto my face at her remark for being 'jealous'.

Stuttering like I always do when I get embarrassed, I told her, "I-Ino, I am not jealous. I just dislike Mitsuyu, I don't like the type of person she is. And besides, if she doesn't like me, what's the point in liking her?"

"You have a point, but… Really? You're not jealous, at _all_?" She seemed surprised, like it didn't make any sense. Then again, it didn't, I have to admit it seemed weird that I wasn't jealous.

Then I thought it through, and the answer just… hit me. "No. Why would I have to be jealous? I trust Shikamaru." I smiled and laughed slightly at the thought. I trust the guy who thinks all women are bossy and troublesome and not to mention is extremely lazy. Oh and also "just like an old man" as his old sensei put it apparently. (The reason why I like Shikamaru really is a mystery…)

Ino froze for an instant as she thought through what I had just said. "Man, you and Shikamaru really got a tight thing going eh? I didn't really think it was possible with him considering how much he dislikes women, but I guess anything can happen."

I suppose Ino was right. We are pretty close even though he seemed to think all women were difficult. And not to mention not even someone as attractive as Mitsuyu couldn't even put one hint of jealousy in me but, her looks did make me feel a little inferior to her. I don't spend much time on the way I look and my hair contained lots of tangles and knots. When she was around, I just felt, awful.

Just as I was about to leave, Mitsuyu had finally picked out a dozen roses and had begin to walk to the cashier's desk. Noticing her coming over, I turned to Ino and said, "well I'm going to go now Ino, I'll talk to you later." I waved goodbye as I looked down to my rose and wondered who I would give this to today.

As Mitsuyu was paying for her flowers Shikamaru turned to Ino, "Ino what were you saying to Yuri?" He asked her, an annoyed tone in his voice.

"Girl talk. It's none of your business." Ino pouted and crossed her arms.

"Just don't embarrass her with your girl crap. You're already difficult to be around in the first place, you don't need to make it any worse by bothering her or something." He told her as Mitsuyu watched the conversation carefully.

"Aww, looks like Shikamaru is protecting little Yuri-chan," Ino smirked as he rolled his eyes and walked out of the store without saying another word.

* * *

It was now early in the evening and I had returned to the Nara's. I was looking at myself in the mirror as I combed the knots out of my hair. Gazing at my reflection I still couldn't help but feel that I looked inadequate compared to Mitsuyu. I sighed as the front door opened and was shut closed quite loudly. I smiled as I knew it was Shikamaru and I walked out to the front to greet him.

"Welcome home Shika-… maru…" I started out joyously but had been cut off when Shikamaru walked right past me and entered his room without a word and a slight wave to show that he knew that I even existed.

My joyous mood had disappeared entirely as I stared as his door, tears coming to my eyes. Before the tears could fall I wiped them and looked to the floor, he's probably just tired from spending all day with Mitsuyu… Or maybe he just doesn't want to deal with women in general right now… I thought as I looked back to his door again. And as I stood there the thought of Shikamaru possibly avoiding me because I was a 'troublesome woman' couldn't escape my mind. I don't know how long I was there, but I know one thing; my heart felt like it was entirely empty. This was not a time that I ever wanted to remember.

* * *

The next morning I twiddled the rose that I had bought yesterday in my hand as I used the other hand to eat my breakfast. I stared once again at the empty chair across from me as I tried to think of a place to put the rose. I had not found a place for it, nor had I found someone to give it to. And today, I was going to be a little different from normal, well my regular routine anyways. I had put on a nicer outfit then I usually do; instead I wore an elegant but casual beige tank top that had some sort of lace neckline and the same pattern around the edges of the top. A light pink skirt that went just above my knees, with what appeared to be a petal pattern over it. Lastly, to finish the outfit off, a nice tight ribbon-like necklace that matched the colour of my top. And I today I had decided to get my long hair cut at last.

As I entered the hairdresser's store I was a bit nervous. It was quite a while since I had gotten my hair cut and instead of getting a trim I wanted to get something a little different. I suppose you can say the reason I was doing this was to make myself feel less inadequate around Mitsuyu as she would be going around Kohona today with Shikamaru once again. But really, I have a different reason for doing this.

I smiled to my hair-cutter as I sat down and looked to the rose and then gave it to the woman, "Here, a thank you present for hopefully cutting my hair nice," we both laughed as she accepted it with a smile.

"Of course your hair is going to look nice, why wouldn't it?"

* * *

After my hair cut I left the store with a big grin on my face. My hair had turned out excellent and I have to say, with the new outfit I looked pretty nice; I just felt… happier. Well feeling anything close to normal today was a big step in comparison to how I felt last night. Hopefully cutting my hair and wearing this nicer outfit will not be in vain, but only time can tell.

Now that hair cut was done, I had to head to the Hokage's mansion to give a report on how my research was going to Tsunade. Even though I was not in the mood to do anything last night after Shikamaru came home I had to force myself to do research. On my way to the Hokage's mansion I stopped by the Yamanaka's again to grab a flower like usual. The second I entered the store Ino looked at me in complete and utter surprise, "Wow Yuri… What a way to retaliate to the Mitsuyu thing." She commented as I shook my head and began to look around the store.

"I'm here for a flower, and I am not retaliating." I briefly clarified and picked up an Azalea.

"You know, yesterday Shikamaru told me not to bother or annoy you yesterday after you left. I think he said that because he likes you." Ino grinned as I walked over to the cashier's desk and placed the Azalea on the counter.

After last night it didn't feel like Shikamaru had liked me at all. I contemplated as I opened my bag and began to fiddle around for my wallet. Today I had grabbed a different bag that matched my outfit and I wasn't quite sure where everything was. I finally get what they meant by "style over comfort" now.

"I want more roses Shikamaru! And today you brought your wallet, so could you please buy some for meeeee?" I froze and squeezed my eyes together as I kept my back to the pair entering the store.

It's like she follows me, or does this on purpose. I thought to myself as I opened my eyes and found my wallet. As I began to count the change for the flower a small blush began to creep up my face. Even though I knew I looked nicer than usual, I couldn't help but feel awkward about it. Not to mention that Shikamaru was completely unaware of how he made me feel yesterday, and I wasn't quite sure what he thought of me now.

Once the change was counted I gave it to Ino and sighed, forcing myself to turn around and face the twosome. The second I turned around and the twosome recognized me they both stopped dead in their tracks (probably out of shock). I swallowed as my gazed kept itself from looking at Shikamaru's astonished face. "Yuri… You look…" He started in a daze as Mitsuyu finished for him.

"Decent." She rolled her eyes and walked over to the roses, dragging Shikamaru along with her.

I kept my gaze to the floor the entire time I felt Shikamaru's eyes on me. Do I really look **decent** now? How did I look before then… I questioned as I fiddled with the Azalea in my hand not moving from the spot where I stood.

Mitsuyu had quickly picked out some roses and her and Shikamaru walked over to the cashier's desk where I stood. Mitsuyu pushed me out of the way as I side stepped and continued to stand beside her, fiddling with the Azalea. Shikamaru finally removed his eyes from me as he looked down to his wallet to grab the money he needed. I released a large breathe I was holding in as I took that moment to walk out of the store.

When I left the store, I had not felt the same way as I had entered it. When I entered I was happy and confident. However, now, I have to admit, Mitsuyu had _destroyed_ any confidence I had gained, and I had dressed up for nothing. My happy mood was definitely gone as it was replaced by self-consciousness and insecurity.

* * *

The Azalea laid on the other side of my bed, as I wiped the falling tears off my face. My knees were huddled up close to my chest, and I had been sitting in my room for who knows how long. I had not gone back to the Nara's in fact; I had gone to my old room in my actual house. This was the only place that I felt comfortable enough to let my tears out, and not to mention, no one would look for me here.

What was I thinking? Getting my hair cut, wearing this new outfit, with this new bag? What was the point? All it did was made me feel worse about myself then I did before. I sighed as more tears fell from my eyes, and I looked out the window. It was getting dark, and I knew at some point I had to go back to the Nara's. I did not want to worry Yoshino-san or Shikaku-sama.

I placed my forehead on my knee as I hid my face from the world. I sighed and closed my eyes, more tears falling out. But then my head rose as I heard a door open. What? Who would come in here? My heart began to jump and flutter wildly as I feared it was a robber coming to steal something. In my rush to get to my room I had left the front door unlocked, how stupid of me. Stupid, stupid, STUPID.

"Yuri? Are you in here?" The familiar voice called out to me, slightly muffled through the door.

How did Shikamaru find me…? Why did he even come looking for me…? I thought quietly to myself as I did not reply to him, as he called out again. "Yuri? Are you here? I checked at home but you weren't there and I checked everywhere else I could think of…" He opened my door and found me, "this was the last place I was going to before I was going to give up."

It did not seem possible, but my heart began to flutter more, and it felt like it was going to literally beat itself out of my chest. My face was red, covered in a complete blush and my tears kept flowing down my face. Shikamaru's eyes immediately turned sympathetic as he came up to me and sat sideways on the bed right in front of me; so he could face me. "Yuri, don't listen to what Mitsuyu says." He stated as he placed a hand onto my knee.

Pulling my knees closer to my chest his hand came off, and I looked at him not saying a word. He sighed and spoke again, "Are you upset about last night? Is that why you dressed up today? To get me to notice you?" Shikamaru's voice was calm, he didn't sound panicky, he didn't sound scared, he didn't sound embarrassed. He was calm, attentive, and most of all, tender.

I nodded as I looked to an empty spot on the bed, "Yesterday I felt so mediocre and second-rate, and you didn't pay any attention to me at all. So I thought that maybe you just considered me to be another difficult or annoying woman like Mitsuyu or Ino. Stupidly I had the idea that if I tried to look nicer today you would stop… and notice me." I was barely able to choke that out as I tried my hardest to not break into sobs.

Shikamaru sighed and placed his hand over mine, "Yuri what made you think I thought you were a bother? If anything you seem to be the only sane girl I know. And I did notice you. Today you looked… stunning. So much more beautiful then Mitsuyu could ever be." Everything in the room became quiet as the sun lowered and the sunlight in the room was lessened.

My heart was beating so fast and so hard that I swear Shikamaru and I could both hear it. Whenever there are moments like these, my heart rate begins to accelerate. Moments where Shikamaru and I are alone, and he says something to show that he cares for me. _Especially_ when he says something like this.

"So please just don't pay attention to Mitsuyu and I'm sorry that I made you feel that way." He finished as his hand remained on mine, and I looked up to see the look on his face. Everything he was saying was completely sincere. It didn't look like he found trying to calm me down troublesome at all.

I nodded as he stood up and held out his hand for me to grab, "let's go home." In this moment, I had never felt happier. Shikamaru called _me_ **beautiful**.

I picked up the Azalea beside me and took Shikamaru's hand as I pulled myself off my bed and picked up my bag. I looked down to the flower and then held the flower in front of him. "Here. I want you to have this Azalea." I told him as he looked down to it as well, his one hand still holding onto mine.

After looking at the flower he gave me a funny look, "You're giving me this _girly_ flower?" the Nara raised an eyebrow and pointed to it with his the index finger of his free hand.

Looking at him for a second to see if he was serious, I furrowed my brows, "Yes I am. Now accept it! I was just crying for Christ sakes!" I shouted slightly as he sighed and took the flower.

"Fine, but I'm going to give it to my mom, people don't need to know you're giving me flowers." He murmured as we walked out of the house and headed back home to the Nara's, hand in hand.

"Is Mitsuyu really that annoying all the time?" I asked Shikamaru looking down at our connecting hands.

"Oh god, yes. Women like her is the reason I avoid girls in general." He told me as I laughed and smiled.

"Makes sense."


	6. To Be or Not To Be

**To Be or Not To Be**

**Nara Shikamaru**

It had been about a week now since Yuri left to visit her father in Suna. At first she was reluctant to leave, but I could tell she missed him. So I told her I thought she could go, and of course, she complied. While she's been gone I've spent most of my time either by myself or with Choji; like it was before she started to live with me. Well, almost.

After visiting Kurenai-sensei, Choji and I were stopping by the store Ino's parents own to tell her about a mission we were assigned tomorrow. When we entered the store I was immediately reminded of my last visit in there. I looked over to the spot where Yuri stood, frozen as she heard us come in. Obviously she didn't want to see Mitsuyu again since the little escapade in the book store. But Yuri looked different that day. She had tried to make herself look nice in an attempt to gain my attention. Granted, it worked, but I still don't understand why she did it.

"Hi Ino, we have a mission tomorrow." I explained to her as we walked up to the counter, my hands in my pockets.

Ino greeted us both with a frown as she began to explain that she had plans tomorrow to do something. I'm not quite sure as I had tuned out as soon I as I figured it was another one of her rants.

"Shikamaru!"

Ino's shrieking snapped me out of my blank stare as I blinked and raised my right eyebrow. "What?" I questioned as I looked up to her. It looked like she had been trying to gain my attention for a while.

"Shikamaru, when is Yuri-chan coming back from Suna?" Ino asked me with a suggestive tone underlying her voice. I'm starting to get sick of all these insinuations everyone is making with Yuri and I. Can't I just be friends with her without someone questioning it? Ahh… How irritating.

But of course I knew the answer to her question, why wouldn't I know? "She's supposed to be back either next Saturday or Sunday." I told her thinking about how nice a nap would be right now.

"Ohhhh, are you excited about her coming back? Have you felt lonely? Do you miss her?" What the hell… Ino shot off one question after another without any warning. This is part of the reason why I don't like spending time with Ino outside of missions.

I sighed, "She comes back when she comes back. That's it." Please let Ino shut up about this now. I wasn't in the mood for this.

She looked somewhat shocked at my response, "Shikamaru! You're so mean!" The blonde grabbed a flower from behind her and held it to her heart. "Think about the girls feelings!" She pouted.

I turned to Choji, "Can we go now?" I was not enjoying this interrogation and that nap was looking really good right now.

"Sure." Choji nodded and began to head for the door as I followed behind him.

"Shikamaru! Be nice to her! You know she likes you!" Ino shouted behind us as we walked out of the store and began walking down the street towards my usual nap area.

Choji and I walked in silence for a bit until he had brought up what Ino said. "Do you think Yuri-chan likes you?" He asked and then pulled out a bag of chips, starting to dig in.

I looked to the sky and sighed as I responded, "I know she does."

A brief moment of silence passed as we continued to walk. "What are you going to do about it then?" He asked me such a simple question which ironically seemed so difficult to answer. Every time I thought of what I should do my mind was completely blank.

"I'm not sure." I told him honestly as I spotted a cloud that looked like a flower. I shook my head and faced Choji.

"Yuri seems to care for you; I say you go for it." Choji smiled then stuffed his face with more of his chips.

I smiled slightly at Choji's attitude, "If only it were that simple Choji."

"Well what's holding you back then?"

As we climbed the stairs to on the way to the bench I usually nap in, I thought of how to say this in a way that made sense. "You know when Yuri quit the academy?" Choji nodded, "Well she quit because her mom had died on a mission. She saw what being a ninja did to her father so she didn't want to become like that. So if I get involved, I'll only make her image of ninja's worse." Well, that wasn't all of it, but I didn't feel like explaining further. I laid down on the bench and placed my hands behind my head as I sighed.

"I'm confused. Why are you not going for it?" Choji's eyebrows furrowed as he stared intently into his empty bag of chips.

I rolled my eyes as I tried to explain again, "My point is, when something inevitably happens to me she will be crushed. I'm only trying to prevent her from getting hurt." I then closed my eyes and prepared for sleep to take me, this nap was long overdue.

"Oh… I think you should still go for it." Choji said as he put away his empty bag of chips and pulled out another.

I never responded.

* * *

The next day the three of us went to go see Tsunade for whatever mission she assigned to us now. We entered her office and walked up to her desk, "Hai Tsunade-sama?" I asked her as Choji and Ino stopped beside me.

Tsunade was expecting us as she put down a pen she had in her hands and crossed her arms, "Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji and Yamanaka Ino you three are to head to Suna to escort Sukai Yuri back to Kohona." She spoke as she leaned back in her chair.

A small smile played on Tsunade's lips as Ino burst out in joy, "Really? We get to bring Yuri back! Ahhhh, thank you Hokage-sama!" She seems elated.

The Gondaime's small smile quickly disappeared as she turned back to her paperwork, "You three are to leave as soon as possible. You are dismissed."

When the three of us left Ino could not hold back her excitement. Why couldn't Yuri make friends with someone more… reserved? Still drawing blanks on what to do about Yuri, the three of us began our three day long journey out to Suna. Hopefully by then I would have thought of something.

* * *

Unfortunately, when we arrived in Suna I was still unsure what I was going to do, and not to mention all this sand wasn't helping either. It's _everywhere_; I don't know how these people can stand it. As we went to report to the Kazekage we were greeted by all of the Sand siblings: Gaara, Kankuro and Temari.

"Welcome! What brings you to Suna?" Temari greeted us as her brothers continued with their previous conversation. I'm assuming they were having a meeting of some sorts before we arrived.

"We're here to take Sukai Yuri home," Ino told them trying to hide her excitement.

Temari looked up and put a finger to her lips as she thought of Yuri. "If I remember right, I think she still has some work to do for her father for the next few days. So you're going to have a wait a while." Temari made a fist with one hand and hit it against the palm of the other, "She's at the greenhouse right now if you want to see her."

"Hai!" Ino shouted as we all bowed and bid adieu to the siblings.

Once we had left the room I began to lead as the others were unsure where the greenhouse was. Since I had acted as a representative of Kohona a few times I knew my way around Suna. As we slowly approached the greenhouse I was quickly getting frustrated that I was still unable to think of anything.

When the greenhouse was in view Ino ran ahead of Choji and me and ran in. "Yuri-chan!" I heard her say as we came in behind her. I raised an eyebrow as I saw that Ino had hugged her tightly.

I could understand why Yuri looked a little a taken back by Ino's sudden appearance, but as Yuri looked behind Ino and saw me her mood lightened immediately. I couldn't help but smile as I greeted her, "Hi Yuri." Choji followed after me and greeted her as well.

Looking at the three of us Yuri was confused as she raised an eyebrow in thought, "What are you guys doing here?" Yuri asked us.

"We're here to take you home! What else!" The blonde told her ecstatically as Yuri smiled.

Yuri then turned her attention to a plant that was beside her as all three of us looked on. She placed her hands just above the plant and her hands began to glow blue with chakra. Chakra then flowed into the plant as she smiled once again, answering the question that was obviously on our minds, "Chakra can help plants to live longer depending on the person. If the chakra they receive is given in a peaceful or happy state it really helps the plant."

"Really? I didn't know that!" Ino looked on intrigued, "I wonder why I've never seen my parents do that at the store…"

Yuri's chakra continued to flow around and into the plant in spirals as she explained why, "most flowers don't need the help of chakra. Botanists usually do this only when the plants are grown in an environment that's usually not suited for them. And since we're in the middle of a desert, it makes sense that we do that here for specific herbs."

When Yuri finished the blue glow disappeared from her hands and she walked over to a table. She picked up a pencil and wrote something down on a clipboard. "I'm just about done for today I just got to—" she started but was cut off by her father.

"Ahhh! Shikamaru-kun, Chouji-kun, Ino-chan! What brings you here?" He came out from behind a large plant and walked up beside Yuri. He placed a hand on her shoulder as he smiled down at his daughter.

Yuri's face flushed red as she shrugged off her father's hand. "I'll be right back," Yuri quickly advised us as she grabbed the clipboard and the plant that had just infused with her chakra. I watched her as she walked out of sight, leaving from where her father had showed up.

After Ino explained why we were here Suisen-sama pouted, "I guess my Yuri-chan had to go back home sometime. And the herbs have responded so well to her chakra..." This made sense considering what Yuri had said beforehand. Yuri's touch, composure… everything was gentle and good-hearted.

As Yuri came around the corner I watched her return to her father's side. He ruffled her hair and smiled, "Sorry guys, but this little lady has some more work she has to do before she goes. I'm afraid you'll have to wait for her to finish."

Yuri pulled her father's hand off her head as her face became red again, "Gomen nasai everyone. I'll try to work hard so we can all go home sooner." She bowed.

Suisen-sama looked at Ino, Choji and I as he spoke up, "Well since it's almost time to call it a night, why don't you leave early Yuri and catch up with your friends."

"Really?" Ino shouted before anyone could say anything. "Let's go!" She took Yuri's arm and began to drag her out of the greenhouse.

"H-Hai!" Yuri stuttered out as she looked back to Choji and I. We all laughed slightly as Choji and I slowly followed behind Ino and Yuri.

* * *

In the end we decided to go find a restaurant to eat, but Ino wanted to go drop off a few things at the hotel we were staying at, and of course she had to for some reason drag Choji along with her. Needless to say, her attempt to give Yuri and me some time together was painfully obvious.

As Yuri and I looked for a restaurant I held my hands awkwardly in my pocket. I had a feeling that she was thinking about holding hands like we did that one time. Sometimes I wish my feelings would just stop getting the better of me... I have to think of something and _soon_.

We were in the middle of one of the busier parts of the village and it was approaching dark. Most of the villagers were out now that the temperature had cooled. A light breeze passed by as I stopped walking and stared ahead. I had finally thought of something and I was going with it.

Stopping behind me, Yuri became a little confused, "Shikamaru?" Her voice questioned as she walked to my side. "What is it?"

Her voice was so quiet and calm; it was soothing in a way. I turned my gaze to her and I noticed the slight tan she had acquired during her stay here. Her hair had grown out a bit and she seemed to be happy. "Yuri, we… can't keep doing this." I breathed as I desperately wanted to look away from her but was unable to.

Yuri's hands tensed as she squeezed them into fists; her biggest tell when she's nervous. Although, I don't think she realizes that."What do you mean?" I had a feeling she understood what I meant right away, but just wanted clarification.

You know, I was hoping that I'd never have to do this; that I'd just find the woman I wanted to be with, fall in love, and get married. I never wanted to be in this position… How troublesome. "I know since you've started to live with me that we've gotten close again; like when we were small. But I don't think we should let this go any further. Just stay at friends." God it sounds like I'm breaking up with her, and unfortunately I basically am.

Then we got to the part that I had been dreading. As I was unable to look away from her face it was undeniable that her heart was shattered. Her happy mood immediately dissipated and she was in shock. After a few seconds she tried to regain her composure. "Oh… Well, if that's what you want… I don't want to become a bother to you." She began to avoid my gaze, probably to hide the tears that were developing in her eyes.

Those words caused pandemonium in my stomach. She must think I'm a fraud; it wasn't too long ago that I said she wasn't a bother and now she probably thinks that she is. If only she knew the truth.

Yuri continued to speak, her voice a little shaky, "This place looks good to eat." She pointed out a barbeque in front of us. I could tell just by the tone in her voice she wanted to cry.

I nodded and headed to the restaurant with Yuri following behind me. Then, just like I expected, we continued on with our day as if I hadn't said a thing.

* * *

I was surprised at how Yuri just seemed to move on from what I said. Once Ino and Choji had found us, I had even begun to question if I had said anything to begin with. But every now and then I would catch the look in her eyes; she was a wreck and was desperately trying to hide it.

The next day Yuri continued to go back to work as Ino took the time to site see, and Chouji took the time to try the different foods in Suna. I had spent most of the day asleep, but when I had woken up I took the opportunity to check up on how Yuri was doing. After all I am responsible for however she was feeling right now.

Once I arrived at the Greenhouse I stayed out of sight, gauging Yuri's behaviour to see if it was a good idea that I should even show my face to her. She was standing in front of a plant looking at it curiously as her hands were held close to her body. She then hesitantly reached her hands out to the plant, hovering above the leaf's edges.

She was debating whether or not to infuse the plant with her chakra in her current condition. After a few seconds she sighed and took her hands away from the plant grabbing the clipboard beside her and scribbled something down. Great, because of me she's unable to work now.

"Shikamaru?" I heard someone call my name as I turned to the direction where it came from. I looked to see Temari with an arched eyebrow. My guess is she's been watching me spy on Yuri.

"Yo." I waved to her, ignoring her expression.

She walked up to me and followed where my gaze had been. We both watched Yuri for a second as she sat there staring at a plant, displeased that she couldn't do anything. "Did you say something to Sukai-chan?" Temari asked me as we both kept our eyes on Yuri.

I nodded slowly as I leaned on the wall behind me, "Yeah."

"So that's why she's like this all of a sudden…" The kunoichi put a hand on her hip.

We were both quiet as we continued to watch Yuri. Yuri had begun to water the plants trying to put a smile on her face. However she was still unhappy that the smile on her face was being forced so she sighed and put down the water can. "She's looks frustrated more than anything." Temari commented as she turned to face me, "I don't know what you said, but Sukai-chan is a good girl. You should apologize."

I looked at her a little taken back as she had her arms crossed and was nodding her head to herself. I narrowed my eyes and sighed, "You don't even know the circumstances. She might not even want to see me right now." Why was I telling Temari this?

"You don't know that much about women now do you? To a girl it doesn't matter the circumstances, as long as she gets to see the one she loves, then she is happy. _Even if he's rejected her." _Temari stated, her arms still crossed but looking over to me to gauge my reaction.

If our situation had been that obvious to Temari, then chances are Ino and Choji knew when we ate yesterday. How troublesome…

"So are you going to apologize or what?" Temari shouted to me as I jumped in surprise.

"Alright, alright!" I retorted as I went into the greenhouse, hoping she would not follow.

I looked around the greenhouse for a bit until I had the nerve to walk up to Yuri. I stood there for a moment as my shadow casted over her. She froze as I spoke up, "Yuri…" Trying to catch her breath Yuri turned around and looked up to me.

What happened next I was not expecting at all. She looked… annoyed, frustrated, upset, basically any negative hateful feeling you could get. I reflexively moved back a step as she barely managed to muster, "_What?"_

I looked at her up and down to see if this was actually Yuri I was speaking to. "Look, I'm sorry for what I said yesterday."

Her hands balled into fists again, "But you still mean it?"

I nodded hesitantly, "Yeah. I do." What the hell is going on with Yuri? I can tell she's nervous, but she's being extremely hostile right now.

"Then don't apologize. Just leave me alone." Yuri turned around and started to write some stuff on another clipboard.

I groaned as I scratched the back of my head, "Yuri… Look I don't want you to be sad." I debated whether or not to say 'mad' instead of sad, but decided against it thanks to my better judgment. I had started to reach out to her, but I pulled my hand back before she could turn around again.

Yuri's eyebrows furrowed as she was basically destroying the pencil in her hand. "You don't get to decide whether I'm sad or not. You made your decision now deal with the consequences." She snapped. This is not going well at all.

Afraid that this was turning into an argument, I tried to reason with her, "At least let me explain why I said what I did." If she lets me explain, then at least she would be able to understand.

Her spiteful blue eyes scanned my face as she was debating whether or not she would let me explain. I stood there quietly, waiting for her response. After a while she resigned, "Go ahead." Now there's the Yuri I know.

I took a step closer to her, "I just wanted to stop things before they got more serious."

She crossed her arms and tilted her head to the side slightly, "Why?"

"Because I'm a ninja."

"A ninja?" Yuri was confused.

"And you're not."

Yuri looked at me, getting more frustrated by the second. I continued.

"Every ninja eventually will die in battle. Name one ninja you know that has died of old age." I challenged her.

I stared at her for a few minutes as she unable to come up with anything. She was now slowly beginning to realize my point and this caused a worried expression across her face. I continued, "My fate is just to die like every other ninja in some battle. I just don't want to have to put you through that when it happens. Not after what I saw your mom's death did to you."

I'm not sure if I was allowed to talk to her about her mother; she had never brought her up before. "Don't…" Yuri tried to find the right words, "Don't… you think I've already thought of that?" This took me by surprise. I was so caught up in thinking about what to say to her, I didn't realize that maybe she's already thought of what I had.

She persisted, "Shikamaru-kun," That's the first time in a while she's added the honourifics. I've never seen her like this before, "If you being a ninja had been an issue for me, I would have left for Suna a long time ago… I don't care if you're a ninja… I just don't care!" Her voice was shaky as her hands continued to squeeze tighter.

As I looked down at her hands my feelings were starting to take over again. I did like Yuri. _A lot_. So much it was starting to get annoying. I began to close the space in between us as I whispered to her, "Yuri…" We stared at each other for a moment as I opened my mouth to speak again.

"Yuri-chan~!" I tensed up immediately and took a step back, placing my hands into my pockets. Yuri blinked and turned to her father.

"Are you feeling ok today? I was looking over your reports and they say you didn't give any of your chakra to the plants." Urgh, please shove it in my face more that she can't work. I already feel guilty enough.

Yuri tried to quickly come up with an excuse, "I just feel a little sick today. I thought it would be better not to treat the plants."

Her father's face immediately saddened, "Well why don't you go back home and rest for the rest of today?" It wasn't so much of a question, more like an order.

"Hai." She nodded as looked at me for a moment, her eyes confused and unsure. Then she tore her eyes away from me reluctantly and grabbed her sky blue bag from her mother off a table. Yuri bowed at the two of us, and then proceeded to leave to the greenhouse.

Suisen-sama sighed as he turned to me, "Did you apologize for whatever you did?" I looked over to him and dropped my shoulders and hunched over. Does _everyone_ know about what happened between us?

I nodded as Suisen-sama smiled slightly, "Then you better catch up to her." He nudged me towards the door. I looked at him for a second then nodded again as I began to follow after Yuri. I guess we have Suisen-sama's approval.

I didn't know what I was going to do when I saw Yuri, but I had to make sure that I caught up to her so this wouldn't be left unfinished. When I finally did catch up to her she was already outside in the blazing heat of the sun. "Yuri!" I shouted out to her as she stopped and turned around to face me.

Hoping for a smile when she turned around, all I got was a slight glare. It looks likes she was still mad at me… and just when I thought I had made some progress."I thought we were finished talking." Yuri told me as she clutched onto her bag.

I looked around uneasily at all the people that were passing by us as we stood still. Why did we have to get interrupted in the greenhouse? It was much more private than out here in the middle of the street. "Yuri…" I started as I decided what to say, "Can we just forget what I said yesterday?" That's it. I give in.

"But I thought you…" She looked at me in surprise, clutching her bag tighter.

I once again closed in the space between us, lightly placing my hand over her clenched fist. "I only said that because I care for you… I don't want to hurt you… But now that I see how what I said has affected you, can we just forget what I said and let whatever happens happen?" Yuri's hand wanted to tighten around the strap of her bag but I made her loosen her hand into mine.

She looked down at our hands and that smile I had been so desperately waiting for finally returned, "Ok. Whatever happens happens." And with that I couldn't help but smile back.


	7. Take Care of Me

**Take Care of Me**

"Sooooo, what are you and Shikamaru doing for your birthday?" Ino asked me as I was working on of the plants.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I'm suspecting that part of the reason that Tsunade told me to come here was so I could spend it with my father. And now I have not only my father, but my friends here with me as well. (I'll have to thank Tsunade when we go back.)

I turned to Ino and shook my head, "I don't know. We haven't really talked about it." Or anything much really; I've been busy working and he has been busy with some of his Kohona duties. I suppose since he was here anyways Suna decided to take advantage of that.

"Whattt? Come on, he's your boyfriend now isn't he? The two of you need to do something special!" Ino shrieked in surprise at my statement. Now I wouldn't necessarily call him my boyfriend, but I wouldn't say he isn't either. The whole 'whatever happens happens' thing was pretty vague, and I'm too embarrassed to bring it up to him.

In fact the past two days since he said that have just been one long embarrassment. It's like everything I do is more obvious now, and so every little mistake I make feels like I accidentally released a nuke and destroyed the world. Not to mention the eternal blush on my face which makes me feel like I'm overheating and ultimately just draws more attention to me.

"I need to go put this plant back, I'll be right back." I told Ino, purposely not responding to her question and running away the fastest I could.

When I put the plant back in its proper spot I stopped and sighed, just one more day and I can finally go home. Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't like Suna or anything, there's just too much _sand _for my liking. And now I begrudgingly began to walk back to Ino to answer her question.

But when I turned the corner, I saw Ino talking to Shikamaru. My stomach immediately erupted in 'butterflies' and my first instinct was to pull back before they could see me.

"So Shikamaru…" Ino started, "What did you get Yuri for her birthday?" She asked excitedly.

At this point the smart thing to do would have been to show up suddenly and prevent Shikamaru from talking, but I just stood still in my spot. Shikamaru glared at Ino, "It's none of your business." He told her the typical Shikamaru answer.

"What? Don't tell me don't have a present for her yet!"

I clenched my fists tighter as my stomach continued to wreak havoc on me. Shikamaru sighed and shook his head, "Of course I have a present for her. I'm not like you and forgot her present in Kohona." He spat out.

"Hey I didn't know we were going to be here for this long, and besides my present can't exactly travel well." Ino pouted.

I had a feeling Ino was about to tell Shikamaru more about my present so I very reluctantly took this opportunity to leave my hiding spot and walk towards them. When Shikamaru turned to look at me an embarrassing grin worked its way onto my face. Ino seemed to keep quiet, probably because they were just talking about my birthday.

"Are you done working yet?" Shikamaru asked me, his hands in his pockets as usual.

"Almost, I just got to work with one more plant." I told him nervously as my throat felt like it was swelling from just speaking.

"Alright." Shikamaru nodded and turned around.

When Shikamaru turned I immediately turned my back to him and a wave of relief flooded over me. At least I didn't make a fool of myself that time. One down, just about a million and one left… Oh my. I quickly made my way to the last plant I was to infuse with my chakra. I stood in front of it for a second and took in a deep breath as I tried to call the chakra forth into my palms and out into the plant.

But it didn't work.

I blinked and tried again. Then all of a sudden, everything went black.

* * *

When I slowly regained some of my consciousness, the first thing I noticed was that I was very warm. Actually, I felt like I was sweating. Then as I attempted to open my heavy eyes I heard his wonderfully deep voice. "Yuri? Are you alright?"

My eyebrows furrowed as I realized I was probably blushing subconsciously to Shikamaru's touch. My eyes finally gave way and the bright sun burned its way into them. "No." I responded to his question. Of course I'm not alright. I'm pretty sure I just fainted, and now I'm blushing because the boy I like is touching me.

Shikamaru sighed and his arms relaxed. He moved one of his arms from my back and lightly placed his hand on my forehead. I looked at him confused as his eyes widened slightly, "Yuri you have a fever."

"No I don't…?" I questioned, "Aren't I just blushing?"

The Nara shook his head, "No. You're not blushing. I think you've been overworking yourself."

"How troublesome." I mumbled for him. Shikamaru smiled slightly when I said that, and when he smiled my stomach erupted again.

"Yuri! Yuri what happened? Shikamaru-kun is she alright?" My dad shouted as he ran up to us with Ino following in suit.

Oh wait, we're on the ground… I guess Shikamaru caught me. Shikamaru repeated what he said before, "I think she's overworked herself. She has a pretty bad fever."

My dad looked at us curiously then turned to the table and opened my bag. "W-What are you doing?" I asked my dad as he pulled out a folder.

Then I realized he was looking at my chakra logs for the greenhouse. "Yuri, what did I tell you when you got here? No more than 10 plants a day."

I felt my face get even hotter now. "How many did she do then?" Ino asked as she peered over my dad's shoulder and looked at the logs. I sighed as she gasped and yelled, "Yuri! **25 **a day is way more than **10**!"

"Shikamaru-kun, you wouldn't mind taking her back to my apartment to rest would you?" My father asked my semi-boyfriend.

Shikamaru nodded and helped me to stand, "Come on Yuri, let's go."

I nodded and complied. Since I was sick there wasn't much I could do. So I grabbed my bag from the table and proceeded to leave with Shikamaru. At least now I have an excuse for all the times I've gotten red over the past two days.

* * *

"I really don't know why you do this to yourself. It makes no sense." Shikamaru sighed as he sat down on the couch and put his arms behind his head.

I pouted as I put my bag down on the kitchen counter about ten feet away from the couch in the living room. "I was trying to get my mind off something." I admitted. And knowing Shikamaru, he would have known what I was talking about right away.

Shikamaru turned his head to look at me, "I can't be in your mind **that** much can I?"

I sighed and nodded, "You are…" I told him as I slowly walked to the couch and sat down beside him. "You must find this whole thing really annoying. I can't go through a conversation without embarrassing myself for some odd reason."

The Nara shrugged and leaned back into the couch, "It's nothing I can't get used to."

"So you _do_ find it annoying." I pointed out to him. Whenever I said things like that he would usually say how they weren't true, and since he didn't this time…

"Good annoying."

"How can something be good annoying?"

"Don't you need to go rest Yuri?"

"Only if you answer my question." Shikamaru seemed intent on avoid this conversation now, but I wouldn't let him.

Oh god, I'm being annoying _right now_. How is this good annoying? I thought that anything annoying that women did he disliked. A lot.

Shikamaru looked at me for a second, scanning my face for any sort of signal that I might pass out any second. He sighed and closed his eyes, "Good annoying because it's cute."

If I wasn't nervous before, then that did it. I'm pretty sure the immediate heat rush I got was from blushing immensely. I couldn't really tell since my face felt like it was hovering above fire, and my stomach felt like it was going to explode.

This is why I dislike this whole 'whatever happens happens' thing. Since I'm unsure what we are, I don't know how to react. And now that I'm blushing as red as an apple, my only thought was to run.

I clenched my fists and stood up, "Alright I guess I should go rest now." If I go rest then I can calm down and think of what to do next, otherwise I don't know what's going to happen.

"Yuri, wait." Shikamaru told me as he pulled on my arm and gently pulled me back down onto the couch. He wasn't going to let me leave. I guess he set his mind on doing something while he had the chance now.

My face was still red hot, and I clenched my fists even harder. "Yuri," Shikamaru said as he looked down at me. He isn't going to try to kiss me, is he? I don't think I can stay conscious for much longer if he is.

Shikamaru looked at my face hesitantly, "Are you alright?" He asked me with an eyebrow cocked.

I nodded.

It was getting harder to breathe now as Shikamaru continued to look at me hesitantly. Was I really **that** red? Nervously, he leaned in slightly closer to me. He is going to kiss me, isn't he? If he does, then does that mean we're actually dating then? But if he doesn't, then what is he doing?

I'll just have to sit still and let him do whatever he's going to do; I'll know in a second what he's planning. He leaned in a little bit closer as I reluctantly swallowed. Time just seemed to slow down now, like every millisecond took 3 minutes to pass.

But as I waited for him to finish what he was doing, everything went dark again. Turns out I was right about the not staying conscious thing.

* * *

When I woke up in the morning I was covered in a light sweat; I guess I still have my fever. After I sat up and slowly stretched I remembered that Shikamaru and I were in the middle of a moment when I suddenly passed out. I pouted and laid back down in bed, "What was he going to do…?" I thought out loud to myself.

After about five to ten minutes of laying there I decided to go grab some food to eat. When I sat up in my bed again, I noticed this time that a note was left on my night table:

_You passed out. I'm guessing it's because you were blushing so much all the blood rushed to your head. You really need to calm down. I'll be back around noon to wish you happy birthday._

_Shikamaru_

I looked over to the clock and saw that it was around eleven. I have one hour to somehow get rid of this fever, or figure out a way to trick Shikamaru into thinking I don't have one. Neither seemed very likely.

So I spent the time getting showered and attempting to make food for myself. And may I emphasize _attempting_. I spent most of the time either on the shower floor or on the kitchen floor, waiting for my strength to come back or for the heat rush to go away.

I sighed as I pulled myself up using the kitchen counter, then immediately slouched over and rested on the counter. I'm pretty sure there was a noise but I couldn't be sure, my latest heat rush was mixed with light headedness.

After a few minutes the heat rush passed and all that was left was a slight headache from the light headedness. There was that noise again. I looked up and saw the clock read '12:03'. I sighed and lowered my head again as there was an even louder noise.

"Yuri are you okay?" Shikamaru's voice came from behind me.

I immediately stood up and turned around to face him. He was in some casual clothes today that really pointed out his toned body. Lately I seemed to notice what he was wearing more, and how what he was wearing would accent his features. I guess it's the teenage hormones or something.

But as I turned around I felt very lightheaded again and my knees gave out from under me. Luckily, Shikamaru was over to me before I could slam on the ground and managed to catch me. "Perfectly fine." I whispered out as I put all my weight into him; supporting myself had become very tiring.

"Very funny." He told me as he picked me up taking me to my room. As he carried me, all I could seem to notice was how much strength he had. This was dumb considering he's a ninja; he needs to be strong.

Once he placed me onto my bed he sighed and felt my forehead. I peered up at him as he looked ahead for a few seconds and shook his head. He left the room without a word. I blinked and tilted my head a bit as he came back for a wet towel in hand. Is he going to take care of me while I'm sick?

"Shikamaru I'm fine. I can take care of myself." I told him as he put the towel on my forehead.

He looked at me with a skeptical look, "Right, exactly how you were taking care of yourself on your kitchen floor?"

I sat up and looked at him seriously, "Really, I don't want to be a burden to you. I can do this myself." I told him as I took the towel off my forehead. And as I did this I realized that me resisting is probably just burdening him more.

Shikamaru sighed as he sat on my bed beside me and placed his hand on top of mine. He slowly wriggled the towel out from under my hand and looked at me, "How many times do I have to tell you this, you're not a burden to me, you're not a bother, and I don't think you're annoying… That much. But remember I said its good annoying so it doesn't matter." It sounded like he was lecturing a child that didn't know taking cookies from the cookie jar before dessert was bad.

My eyebrows furrowed as he said this, "Shikamaru. What are we exactly?" That's it. I give in; I'm asking him. This is too confusing and I'm too sick to try to decipher it anymore.

Just as I expected, Shikamaru's eyebrow lifted in confusion. I explained further, "I mean like, that whole 'whatever happens happens' thing was so vague. I can't figure out what I mean to you." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, I could feel another heat rush coming on.

Shikamaru was silent for a few moments, "Yuri." I opened my eyes to look at him as he started, "I… We're… Well I'd like to think that…" By the sounds of it he wasn't too sure what we were either. Which was odd considering Shikamaru always seemed so sure of himself.

He lowered his hand and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. Probably thinking that this is why he avoided girls in general. "Shikamaru…" I whispered to him, the heat rush taking full effect now.

The Nara then lifted his head and looked at me. What I didn't expect though, was his eyes almost bulging out of their sockets. "Yuri, you're so red." He exclaimed as he felt my face, which as you know, just made me feel hotter.

Then just like yesterday at the greenhouse, and just like yesterday on the couch, everything went dark.

* * *

After I came out of my drowsy state I noticed I was still overheating; it looks like the fever hasn't given up on me yet. Then I noticed the cool towel on my forehead and I sighed. It felt rather nice. I sat up and noticed that the clock read '4:25' now, meaning I was sleeping for about four hours.

I looked around and saw that my room was empty. Maybe Shikamaru was just in the other room? I took this chance to _slowly_ get up out of bed and out of my room. After about a minute, I reached my door I noticed that Shikamaru was sleeping soundly on my couch.

I smiled as this reminded me of when I realized I liked him. Shikamaru and I had just come home and he immediately fell asleep on the couch much like he is now. I carefully made my way to the couch and sat on the floor beside the couch, right by his head. I placed my arms on the empty part of cushion in front of him and then proceeded to rest my head on my arms. And as I looked at his sleeping form my smile turned into a grin.

How does this lazy, easily annoyed, yet very intelligent ninja make me feel this way for him? He had made it clear so many times in the past few months we were living together that he finds girls annoying. Why didn't I just take that hint and leave him alone? But at the same time he seemed to like my attention... I mean, he is going through all this trouble for me after all.

I sighed and took in his scent. He always seemed to smell nice. Well except for when he would come back from a mission and would smell like dirty boys, but you know. He's trying so hard to become a good ninja now that his teacher had died. I feel bad for bothering him so much with all my girl feelings and stuff. But I can't help it; he just… draws me in to him. I don't really know why.

I closed my eyes and let myself rest. After a few minutes Shikamaru stirred as he was waking up from his nap. "Yuri?" He muffled as I opened my eyes, "How are you feeling?"

"Just about the same as before." I told him looking at his hand as he rubbed his face. After he rubbed his face he gently put his hand on my face to check my temperature. I sighed and leaned into his hand as he half smiled.

"Your temperature was going down before, that's why I took this nap. But it doesn't seem to want to fade." He told me, keeping his hand where it was, while he took his other hand and gently tucked the hair in my face behind my ear.

I closed my eyes again, "I guess I really overdid it…" I mumbled.

"I think we're going to have to make a trip to the hospital."

My stomach erupted at that word. _Hospital_. God how I hated _hospitals_. Ever since my mom died I've tried to avoid them like they were the plague. I immediately lifted my head and leaned back into the coffee table. "No hospitals."

The boy in front of me was startled by my reaction and went to sit on the floor with me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and was about to ask me the obvious question, but figured out his answer before he did. He sighed and looked at me with a sympathetic look, "Your mother."

This is the second time he's spoken about my mother. The first time he used it as an excuse when he rejected me. I nodded and without looking at him, I hugged him tightly. I half did it to distract him from saying the h-word again, but half because I was getting weak again, and half because I wanted to. Wait, three halves? Anyways, I didn't know if my stomach was still acting up from _that_ word, or if it was because I was embracing him. But at this point I didn't really care anymore.

I expected him to be polite and let me continue to hug him. I didn't expect him to hug me back; it didn't seem like Shikamaru would do that type of thing. But… then he did. I'm sure he felt my smile in his chest as I tried to hold onto him just a tiny bit tighter.

Shikamaru sighed, "Fine we won't go for now. But if your fever doesn't settle down in an hour, we're going whether you like it or not." He ordered me as I nodded reluctantly.

I don't know how long we were there, but I happily just sat there and rested in his arms. This is the first time that Shikamaru and I have expressed our feelings so outwardly. The most we've ever done was hold hands, and now this was a token of our affection.

"Yuri, before I forget…" Shikamaru removed one of his arms from around me and gently pushed me away from him.

I looked at him curiously as he pulled out a gift. Oh right! Today's my birthday! I had completely forgotten…

"Happy birthday." He held the small gift out for me to take.

I smiled and took it from him. As I opened the wrapping I noticed it was a jewelry box. Shikamaru got me jewelry? When I opened the box I gasped and my heart began to melt. It was an emerald flower made of stones on a silver chain.

"I almost got you the sapphire one, but then I remembered how you said that your favourite colour is actually green." Shikamaru commented as I lightly traced the petals of the flower.

My smile felt like it literally went from one side of my face to the other, "Blue was my mother's favourite colour…" I explained to him, "Shikamaru, I love it." I looked up to him. "It's perfect."

Shikamaru smiled back at me, "I'm glad you like it."

I gently pulled the chain out from the bottom of the box and opened the clasp. Shikamaru then took the chain from me and put it around my neck, closing the clasp behind my head. "There." He said and let the chain go, the flower sitting pretty on my chest.

I took this chance to hug him again, "Thank you." I murmured into his shoulder.

Although I was expecting it to, the darkness never claimed me. About an hour after Shikamaru gave me my gift, Ino, Chouji and my father showed up. As it turns out, Ino's present was this rare flower she saw me eyeing in a book a few months ago. Chouji got me some cake, and my dad got me a new plant book.

I looked down curiously to the author's name. My eyes widened in surprise, "You wrote this book dad?"

My dad grinned sheepishly, "Yep! My first official publication on the plants of Suna! What do you think?"

I sifted through the pages. The information looked very thorough and concise. "It looks awesome dad. I can't believe this… Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well… I wanted to wait until you came down here to tell you. And since you came so close to your birthday I decided to wait." He winked as he messed the hair on my head.

I shook off his hand as usual and looked around at all the people crowded around my bed. Shikamaru had taken a spot leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room. When I saw he was looking at me I grinned sheepishly just like my dad, and the corners of his mouth lifted slightly.

"How are you feeling sweetie?" My dad asked me now once the presents were out of the way.

"I feel better. My fever seems to be going away." I nodded as he sighed in relief.

"Last night you were so unsettled in your bed. I almost took you to the…" my dad paused. He knew my dislike for the word. "I'm glad you're better. Just don't overdo it anymore ok?"

I nodded again. "Alright, alright. I promise." I informed him.

All in all, my birthday was wonderful… besides the whole being sick thing. Although, Shikamaru never did tell me what we were. I guess he's still trying to figure it out himself. And now that my sickness was fading it was finally time to go back to Kohona. Thank god.

12


	8. In My Time of Need

**In My Time of Need**

Ino and Choji stood behind us by the gate of Suna as Shikamaru and I said goodbye to my father. My work had finished and I was well enough to travel, so now I was able to finally go back home to Kohona. And not to mention the sun was extremely hot today, I could feel the different waves of heat as the wind blew gently. I'm so glad to get out of this place.

"Alright Yuri, you be a good girl. And make sure to keep a keen eye on that flower while you're travelling. Remember take it to the Hokage as soon as you get back." My father told me as he pointed down the plant that was encased in a glass capsule.

The plant below me was the reason why my dad had left Kohona in the first place. It was one of the saplings that they were able to grow from the original plant and we were to bring it back to Kohona. It was so small too; the whole capsule was a bit larger than my hand. "This plant is very rare, so much so the only reason I'm giving it to you now is because you have three Chunins with you to protect you and it." He sighed as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

"You make it sound like we're going to get attacked or something." I explained as I tilted my head sideways slightly.

"You might. That's the problem." Dad sighed as he hugged me and held me close.

Why does my dad have to keep doing all this in front of Shikamaru? "D-dad. The plant! You're squishing…" I broke out of his grasp and caught my breath.

Dad turned to Shikamaru who was quietly watching beside me. "Take care of her Shikamaru-kun," he gave Shikamaru some sort of stare as Shikamaru nodded.

Some sorts of father to boyfriend stare, I guess. But that is to say, Shikamaru hasn't really said we're boyfriend and girlfriend. We never got the chance to talk alone after my dad and the others arrived on my birthday. Unless we can find some privacy on the trip back, I'll just have to ask him again when we get home.

"I will." He replied.

I smiled and as Shikamaru and I then caught up with Choji and Ino, "Bye Dad!" I shouted to him and waved. There's no way we could be attacked, I think my dad is just being silly.

* * *

The sun was not particularly nice today; it seemed like a heat wave was moving in. Then again this could just be normal for the Wind country, I don't know. Either way, I was exhausted by the time we got out of the desert, but I didn't want to slow down the others anymore than I had. After all, they were walking because of me, instead of jumping or whatever it is ninja's do to speed up.

The forest rang with animal life as we quietly stepped on the many fallen leaves and branches. Shikamaru was standing at my side when he gazed over and saw my tired expression I've been trying so hard to hide. "Maybe we should stop for the night. Yuri still hasn't fully recovered." He told the others as he stopped walking.

The others peered back and I guess I really did look tired because they agreed immediately. "It's okay guys, really. I can keep on going for at least another hour or so. We don't need to stop." I tried to reason with them.

Ino looked at me like I was crazy. "You should really lie down; you look like you're going to pass out or something." I'm sure that was supposed to be a suggestion but the way she said it sounded more like an order.

I frowned; did I really look that tired? I sighed and nodded in defeat, I did not want to pick a fight with Ino. "Fine, let's find a place to camp."

Up ahead we saw a small clearing of the trees and decided to camp there. I sat down on the ground and continued to pout as the others prepared their sleeping bags and prepared to set a fire. When Shikamaru was bringing back some firewood, he placed the wood on the ground and turned to look at me. He raised an eyebrow and asked, "Why haven't you prepared your sleeping bag yet?" he began to walk over to me.

I thought about giving him some snappy come back because we had to stop for my sake. But I decided against it and just told the truth, "Too tired."

Shikamaru sighed and kneeled down in front of me putting his hands on my shoulders and began to remove my pack. "I can do it," I told him removing my pack the rest of the way.

When my pack was off Shikamaru took it from me and grabbed my sleeping bag. Too tired to refute, I watched him as he set up my sleeping bag for me. After he was done he unzipped the side and opened it up for me. I crawled over and got into the sleeping bag lying down immediately and shutting my eyes, and god did lying down feel **so good**.

I heard Shikamaru laugh slightly and I opened my eyes, "What?" I murmured as I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Nothing," he shook his head and stood up, "just get some rest."

I sighed and nodded. I was really tired and a nap sounded like the best thing in the world right now.

* * *

I opened my lazy eyes and saw the stars shining brightly above the clearing. The smell of the firewood was covering the area and the forest was dark and mysterious. I yawned as I stretched and sat up; Ino and Chouji were sleeping on the opposite side of the fire.

"Finally awake sleepyhead?" I jumped when I heard Shikamaru's voice; I thought he would be sleeping.

Shikamaru quietly laughed as I turned to face him; his sleeping bag lay a few feet from me. He was on top of it and not sleeping, my guess is he was the one on guard at the moment. When I saw how close he had put his sleeping bag to mine, my heart began to jump faster. Ino and Chouji had like 20 feet of space between them and yet Shikamaru was so close to me…

"Don't call me sleepyhead…" I murmured to him as I put a hand through my hair, looking away from him. "So when are you going to answer my question?" I questioned as I made sure to keep my gaze away from him; concentrating on blades of grass that lay beside my sleeping bag.

For a few seconds all I could hear was the wood cracking as the fire consumed it. "Right… Well we both know that you like me." Shikamaru started.

My eyebrows furrowed as he said this, the way he put it made it seem like it was really obvious. "And… I like you too." My heart skipped a beat when he said this. In fact it felt like I was going to have a heart attack as I waited for him to continue. "So…"

I couldn't wait a few more seconds to think it through, "So what?" I questioned him, turning to face him. My face got hot again and I suddenly became very aware of both him and I.

"I guess we're dating then?" He responded with a question.

I wasn't going to let him off this easy. "What do you mean by dating? Like boyfriend and girlfriend or just like, friends with benefits…?" I needed to make sure there was no room for discrepancies or possible loop holes. And god, saying that out loud was so embarrassing. 'Friends with benefits'? I wish I could take that back.

Shikamaru sighed and shook his head; he obviously didn't like that was pressing on the topic. But I needed to know, I couldn't stand it if I had to wait another few days for him to tell me.

"I guess boyfriend and girlfriend." Shikamaru was taken back as immediately after he said that I hugged him tightly. I couldn't help it, I was too happy to refrain myself.

The Nara laughed as he hugged me back and we enjoyed our second embrace. Shikamaru's my** boyfriend**. I never thought I would see the day when Shikamaru Nara would date someone, let alone me. I thought that by now he would be sick of me worrying if I annoy him.

"Women… how troublesome." Shikamaru sighed as he looked up to the cloudless sky. I smiled and laughed slightly at this remark. "Are you hungry?" He asked me after a minute or so, "you sort of feel asleep before we had the chance to eat."

I loosened my grip on Shikamaru and looked down to my stomach that growled as if on cue. "Yeah I'm sort of hungry…" I sighed and hugged Shikamaru again. I was going to enjoy this as much as I could before Ino or Choji woke up.

"You sort of need to let go of me if you want to eat." Shikamaru raised an eyebrow as I shook my head. I know, I'm being annoying, but like I said I wanted to savour this moment for as long as possible. I mean like, he is my boyfriend and everything.

I pouted as I left Shikamaru go and he stood up to get me some food. So Shikamaru didn't think I was that annoying; maybe now that I know that I'll stop worrying so much about it. Yeah… things can only get better from here on out.

* * *

The next morning wasn't as nice as the last. There were many ominous rain clouds above us and the air was very moist. It felt like it was going to rain at any moment; I guess that's what happens when you get close to the Water country.

It was quiet all around me as we all just concentrated on walking. I was walking close to Shikamaru and this caught Ino's attention.

"Sooo, are you and Shikamaru a couple now?" Ino chimed in excitement, putting her palms together.

My footsteps hesitated slightly as I took a quick glance towards Shikamaru before turning to Ino. I opened my mouth to reply but Shikamaru beat me to the punch: "Ino mind your own business." He exclaimed his hands in his pocket and his demeanor unaltered.

"Ohhh! Is that a yes?" Ino nudged my shoulder a little with her hand and I looked at her a little unsure.

"We're just…-" I wasn't sure what I was going to say next, but I didn't need to respond as I noticed that all three of the chunin's around me turned their attention to the left.

What happened next was a blur. I was standing in the middle of my three friends one moment, and the next I was in the hands of my captor. My body immediately froze; the only thing that seemed to be working was my arms and my hands. I was clenching that flower so tight that not even the Gods could take it away from me.

Turns out, my dad was right. We were being attacked by some rogue ninjas. We were still in the Wind country so even though we were close to the border, ninjas from Water couldn't help us. And we were too far out in the Wind to get assistance from any ninja here fast enough. It was a trap, they waited for this moment and now all I could do was just sit here.

"Yuri!" Ino shouted again, as the three Kohona ninja got into a battle stance. After that I closed my eyes; I didn't want to, but that seemed to be the only thing I could do besides squeezing the capsule.

"You two take on the leaf ninjas, I'll get the sapling to a safe place." The voice came from beside me. I'm assuming it was my captor.

And his grasp was so tight. It felt like he was going to choke me or something. And his voice, it was raspy; I can smell the smoke emanating off of him so I'm guessing that's why his voice was like that.

"Ino" Shikamaru's voice rang out. When he spoke my eyes opened and I looked around fervently for him.

Ino nodded as Shikamaru glanced over to Choji and said his name. Choji also nodded and then the famous Ino-Shika-Cho combination commenced their attack.

Within a second Ino had put herself into the mind of the tallest enemy and Choji had enlarged his hands and had the second enemy in his grasp. At this point I had expected that their commander would have ran for it. But he stood still; perfectly still.

"Kagemane no Jutsu. Success." Shikamaru commented as the corner of his mouth slid up slightly.

Shikamaru opened his arms and my captor opened his arms as well, releasing his hold on me. Without any hesitation I ran towards Shikamaru's open arms and hit him with a loud thud. I closed my eyes tightly not caring what happened next; I was with Shikamaru and everything would be alright now.

Next thing I knew, we were moving quickly; wind blew all around me as I slowly open my eyes. "Shikamaru what are we going to do? We're too far out for help from Suna." Ino questioned as she showed up besides us. The group was hoping from tree to tree, running away from our attackers.

Shikamaru jumped down into a clearing and put me down on the ground. "Shikamaru…?" I looked at him inquisitively as he kneeled down in front of me and touched his fingertips together.

"Yuri, he's thinking of a plan." Choji came up from behind me, causing me to jump slightly.

It was then I noticed that I was very tense. I hadn't relaxed since I was held captive, and it didn't feel like I was going to relax anytime soon. I knew in this situation there were only two options: run and inevitably get caught by them, or set up a trap and ambush them. Either way we'd have to see them at some point before arriving back in Kohona, and I would sit here, useless as always.

I watched Shikamaru as he thought of all the different possibilities in his mind. Ino was pacing around making sure no one had followed us, and Choji was guarding me. They were prepared for this type of thing when it was the three of them; not when a civilian was travelling with them.

After about two minutes Shikamaru looked up towards me, and I knew right away what he planned to do; he was going set up an ambush.

* * *

The atmosphere tonight around the camp fire was much different from last night. When I had woken up from my stupor last night, I was graced by Shikamaru's presence. Tonight I was ushered to sleep while two of the others were awake at all times; one patrolling, and one watching me. Honestly, I was too scared to shut my eyes because I knew at any second the enemy might show up. So I watched as Shikamaru, Ino and Choji switched shifts every few hours.

When it was Shikamaru's turn to watch me, I sat up and looked at him. "Shikamaru, I think you should hold onto the Phresdena." I told him lifting the small capsule and holding it up to him.

"Your father gave it to you to look over, you should keep it." Shikamaru's stern voice was very cold. He was the complete opposite of how he was yesterday.

"And I'm giving it to you because I know you'll be able to better protect it than me."

He sighed and took the capsule from me, his hand lingering with mine for a moment. After he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a throwing knife, handing it to me. "You remember how to use one of these?" He questioned.

I nodded as I took the knife in exchange for the flower. I hate how… dirty this whole situation had gotten. Yesterday seemed like the complete opposite of tonight. Like yesterday was pure white, and today was complete black. I just couldn't shake this feeling that something really **bad** was going to happen. I just hope that Shikamaru doesn't get hurt…

"Yuri," Shikamaru called out as I looked up to him. He had moved to be right beside me, "Don't worry. Everything will be alright." He assured me.

I nodded and laid down pulling one of his hands into both of mine, and held it up to my face. Shikamaru's scent always calms me down, maybe this way I can close my eyes and get some sleep. "I trust you…" I mumbled to him as I slowly drifted to sleep.

Tomorrow was going to be a horrible day, and all I could do was linger in the moment with his intoxicating scent.

* * *

Shikamaru held onto my side as we were perched on a tree branch high above the others. Yesterday the group had injured one of the enemies so we were expecting them to come in a group of either two or three. We didn't know how many enemies there was, so all we could do was prepare for the worst. The idea was simple: Choji attacks initially, disturbing all the ground around him, forcing hidden enemies to come out. Ino then takes over the mind of the leader because we knew he would be the one going for the Phresdena. The enemy group should be thrown off by Ino's take over, and Choji should be able to take out the rest of them. Shikamaru was to be at my side the entire time, protecting me.

The silence was unnerving as we waited for the enemy to come. My heartbeat became more and more evident as it felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I didn't like the idea of just waiting for them to attack us, it felt too risky.

Then the Earth shook around us; Choji had spotted the enemy and attacked. Shikamaru lifted me up and jumped to another tree as a piece of rock flew into the spot where we just were. I held the throwing knife in my hand tighter as I saw another piece of rock heading towards us. Choji was attacking too much, something wasn't going as planned.

This was then confirmed when Ino shouted out Shikamaru's name, indicating that she failed in taking over the mind of the leader. Shikamaru's arm around me tightened even more as he looked around for the enemy.

I looked around carefully, trying to ignore the battle into the background. A small tree branch in the corner of my vision snapped, and I instinctively swung my arm out in that direction. It was like slow motion as the enemy came out of his genjutsu and I saw had I slashed his face.

Shikamaru immediately jumped down from the tree, taking me down with him. He pushed me behind him, putting himself between the leader and I. I looked down to the throwing knife and saw the blood drip off the edge. I had actually attacked him… this couldn't be good.

The leader spat blood to the ground as he wiped his face. "You bitch…" his voice felt strained as he glared at me.

Shikamaru and my captor from yesterday started to attack each other. All around me was fighting as I stood there, holding a bloody knife. This wasn't **that** bad, so far it was going sort of how we expected it to. God listen to me, my boyfriend and my close friends are fighting for their lives and I'm rambling on about how it's not that bad.

Then a throwing knife came at me from the side, I moved too late and it nicked me in my left arm. I looked to my left to see another enemy, ready to attack me. I tried as hard as I could to recall all the techniques I had learned in my short years of the academy but came up empty. Instead I just fell to the ground as this new assailant came at me, a new throwing knife in hand.

But before he could reach me, Ino came in front of me and kicked him back. I guess it was adrenaline pulsing through my veins because I no longer noticed how fast my heart was beating. I didn't notice that my hands were shaking, and I didn't notice that my arm was bleeding. All I seemed to notice was that my friends were outnumbered.

I counted four enemies, as they all flashed around me. From time to time I could make out Shikamaru fighting, he seemed to be taking on two of the enemies. I wanted to stand up so badly but my every bone in my body refused to move. I would have made a bad ninja, I know that now.

But then I suddenly didn't have a choice in what to do anymore. I felt myself being lifted off the ground completely as someone held me in a choke hold. I felt something sharp and cold against my neck, but I also felt the warmth coming from my attacker's face. I knew who it was who had me; the leader's blood dripped onto my face from the very cut I caused.

I looked around and saw that Shikamaru, Ino and Choji had noticed my capture. They all rushed towards me as the leader whispered to me: "This is what you deserve."

I felt the blade move from one side of my neck to the other effortlessly as the leader let go of me, letting me fall to my knees. I instantly tried to cover my neck as the blood seeped out, falling to the floor. But that didn't seem to help as I grew very tired and fell forward.

The leader leaned over and pulled out the fake capsule I had out of my bag. He chuckled as he and his comrades retreated happily; thinking they had won. So many people were shouting my name now, I couldn't really tell who since everything was beginning to fade.

The only thing that I could focus on was the fact that I couldn't breathe. I kept on coughing and coughing, but my throat kept on filling up with more and more blood. I thought I was going to get sick of the warmth in my throat, but when my whole body started to feel cold I welcomed the heat.

I was right. This day was going to end up horrible. At least I can say I'm the only one that had to get hurt. I'm sure the others are okay; as long as Shikamaru is ok I'm happy.

"Yuri!" Shikamaru's voice rang through my head like the loudest bell I have ever heard. Echoing to every crevice of my mind again and again.

Then just like when I was sick, everything went dark.


	9. Everything I Need to Say

**Everything I Need to Say**

The blood seemed to be everywhere. I removed the hands from my neck to see only dark red, my hands nowhere in sight. I could tell I was shouting but I couldn't hear my voice, the only thing I could hear was the constant yelling of my name ringing from one side of my head to the other.

I looked up and froze as I saw the horrible grin on my attackers face. The blood dripping off his face just like the blood was dripping from my neck. He came up to me and held my face in his hand, repeating what he had said before, "This is what you deserve." Then my world started to fade into nothingness.

I screamed again as my eyes opened and I sat up, holding my neck. I was breathing very hard as I tried to make out where I was. It was dark in the room, probably night time. How did I get here? Better yet, how I am still alive? I'm sure that the knife went in deep enough to cut some vital veins in my neck.

Then I recognized where I was. I was in a **hospital**. My breathing began to speed up again as I shook my head and covered my face. That was when I started to panic. I'm in a place I absolutely hate, and my throat throbbed so much that I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Then it hit me; can I even talk anymore? I tried to control my breathing as I opened my mouth and mustered the courage to try to speak. What's going to happen if I **can't** speak anymore?

After a minute, I tried to say hello. But nothing came out.

I then began to panic even more as I put a lot of pressure on my throat. This can't be happening. I have to be able to talk. If I somehow was able to live through this, I should be able to talk too. Right? Then just like in my dream, I pulled my hands away and saw that my hands were red. I seemed to have opened the stitches on my neck.

I couldn't breathe anymore. My chest moved up and down wildly as I got out of my bed and saw the blood drip to the floor. This can't be happening. I ran to the corner away from all the doors and the windows and curled up into a ball. This can't be happening. I hid my head in my knees and tried to think of the only thing that could have possibly calmed me down now.

Shikamaru. Where is he? What did he think after he saw what the enemy had done to me? Is he ok?

That didn't really seem to calm me down as my breathing only seemed to get worse. It was then that a night nurse opened the door and saw the condition I was in. She shouted to someone outside in the hall to come quickly with the first aid kit. Then she came over to me and asked me if I was alright.

I didn't lift my head off my knees, and I didn't respond to her question either. In fact, HOW could I have responded to her? I can't even talk. She sighed and I felt her hand on my head. I immediately pulled away, scared of what she was going to do. I knew she wasn't planning on hurting me, but I couldn't help but think that she might.

Then I felt a needle go into my arm and I tried to back away. She moved forward and grabbed a hold of my arms, preventing me from moving as someone new finished injecting whatever was in the needle into me. I was being _restrained_. This can't be happening.

* * *

This time when I woke up I cringed when I felt the sun's ray beam into my eyes. I looked around the room and saw it looked like your typical hospital room. A table was beside my bed and I counted four flowers laying on it. I picked up the four flowers and saw one of them was withering away. How sad...

"Yuri?"

My head immediately rose up to the door when I heard that voice; the same voice that had rung in my head over and over while I was passed out. A grin made its way on my face as Shikamaru came to my side and gently placed his hand on my face. "Do you know how much trouble you're in?" He questioned me as I blinked and shook my head.

"Making us all worry like that. For a while there you were at the top of my list of annoying women." He sighed and moved his hand from my face into his pocket.

I pouted and looked down to the flowers. I'm sure he meant what he said in a nice way, but I mean like, I just woke up from having my throat slit and my boyfriend tells me how annoying I am. "Ino brought those. She said that if anyone needs the flowers to bring them happiness, it's you." Shikamaru commented as he noticed the flowers in my hand.

I tilted my head slightly as I realized what he meant. Ino brought these flowers in one a day; giving me a flower instead of me giving someone else a flower. Which means I've been out four days? Oh my.

The nurse from last night stood at the door and quietly asked if she could come in. Shikamaru nodded as he moved out of her way and to the end of my bed. She looked at me and asked, "Is it okay if I change your bandages?"

I nodded as she hesitantly reached for my throat. I pulled back a bit and covered my neck when she got within 5 inches. Shikamaru then came up beside the nurse and looked at me worriedly, "Are you ok?"

I swallowed hard as I moved my hands away, and nodded. Shikamaru took hold of my hand as the nurse reached for my neck again. I squeezed his hand tightly as I fought the urge to let go and hold my neck. Every cell in my body was telling me to protect myself from anyone who dared to get close to my neck; from anyone who could be seen as a threat.

As the nurse's hand came in contact with the bandages I felt my heart beating faster in my chest. As she slowly removed the bandages I saw that the as she took more off, the more blood they seemed to have.

I don't think anyone expected me to react the way I did when all the bandages came off. In fact, _I_ didn't even know I was going to react like that. When the bandages came off and I felt my neck exposed, I let of Shikamaru's hand and I jumped out of my bed, retreating along the wall. My hands were so tight around my neck I felt the blood drip from them just like last night. It felt so **wrong**. The air was touching my wounded neck, seeping down into my throat. It was just so wrong.

"Calm down. It's alright." The nurse said calmly as she made her way around the bed towards me.

I shut my eyes and shook my head side of side. It's not going to be alright. All of this is so wrong. This just can't be happening. "Yuri." Shikamaru's voice sounded really worried now.

I opened my eyes and saw him in front of me, he looked so sad. I began to breathe faster as I hugged Shikamaru tightly, tears falling out of my eyes. He hugged me back as I tried to only concentrate on him and his scent; the scent that calms me down so much. Then I felt another needle go into my arm, and soon enough I became drowsy. At least this time I was drowning in the scent of Shikamaru, and not blood like so many times before.

I woke up in the hospital bed like before, except I felt something on my arms. I looked down and saw restraints. _Restraints_. How could I be so unstable as to need restraints? My thoughts are coming so clear to me; I sound okay in my head. But... my body reacts so differently from my head.

Then I noticed my hand felt warm, and saw Shikamaru's hand on mine. His head rested on the bed as he was sleeping. God, my freak out earlier really must have worried him. All I've been done for him since I moved into his house was caused him trouble. I remember thinking months ago about how Shikamaru and I were the type of people to not even be friends, let alone boyfriend and girlfriend. How did we get to this point?

I squeezed Shikamaru's hand, making him stir slightly and waking up from his slumber. He groggily lifted his head and his eyes met mine. He sighed and looked at me, the same sad expression on his face as before. I really didn't like that face on him, I much preferred the annoyed face he would get when he complained about something. This face just looked so wrong.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me.

I nodded, signifying I was ok. "When the nurse told me how you were last night I didn't really believe her. I told her that you didn't need to be restrained. But after what happened earlier I..." Shikamaru looked away from me as he finished, "I thought it was better since you keep opening the wound."

My heart immediately sunk when he said this, and it felt like my body was going to fall through the bed to the floor. The person that I care for most in the world just told me that he agreed to restrain me for my own good. I looked away from him as he stood up and let go of my hand. "Visiting hours is almost over. I have to head home. Will you be alright by yourself?" He whispered quietly. The tone of his voice was so... sad.

I nodded as tears fell down my eyes, defying me. I thought that the only place that I could cry was in my room at home. I didn't even cry when Shikamaru rejected me in Suna. When he did that I was so mad at him...

Shikamaru's hand made its way to my face and turned it to face him. I kept my gaze away from him as he sighed, "I'm sorry."

When he said this, I immediately looked at him. His expression went from being sad to horribly guilty. "I'm sorry for letting this happen to you. If I had just..." He stopped himself as one of my tears fell onto his hand.

Has he had this sad expression on his face for the entire time I was out cold? He probably hates himself for letting this happen to me. He probably wishes that he could take back that moment; change anything leading up to it that would result in me not getting hurt. After what happened earlier, I'm sure he feels even worse about himself than he did before. All I want to do now is tell him that I'm ok. That he didn't need to feel this sad anymore. It just kills me to see his face like this.

I tried to lift my arm so I could touch him but the restraints prevented me from doing so. I had to watch as he pulled his gaze away from me and pulled his hand away, placing it swiftly in his pocket. "I have to go on a mission tomorrow. I'll try to come before the end of the day, but I doubt I'll make it in time." He told me as he made his way out of the room. "Goodnight Yuri." He waved as he walked out sight and away from me.

The tears fell down my face so quickly it felt like my eyes were bleeding out tears. Here I was, in one of the places I hate the most, all alone. And the one person that I never want to see hurt, is hurting so badly right now for letting me end up in a place like this. This can't be happening.

* * *

A few hours later it was dark and I lay restless in my bed. I pulled at the restraints; it was so frustrating that I could even scratch an itch that I had on one of my arms. But the most frustrating part is that Shikamaru is probably in his bed just as restless as I am. He looked so tired before, I'm pretty sure he fell asleep on my bed not out of choice, but out of his body's necessity for rest.

I pulled at the restraints again. This caught the attention of someone passing by room. He seemed to be another patient as he walked in and asked me if I was alright. Just like everyone else who has walked in here.

I shook my head as I rubbed my legs together, pretending that I had to go to the washroom. He caught my hint as he looked at my restraints and started to undo one of them. "If the nurses find me doing this, they'll kill me." He laughed as he removed the last string holding the restraint in place, freeing one of my arms.

I gave a big sigh of relief as I started to remove the next restraint. I looked towards the kid and pointed to my neck indicating I couldn't speak and bowed in thanks. He nodded and waved, "No problem. I should get back to bed before someone sees me." He left the room as quickly as he came in.

It seemed odd since there didn't seem to be anything outwardly wrong with him. I wonder what had caused him to be in the hospital in the first place... As I finally got the last restraint off I gently placed my hands around my neck, trying not to put too much pressure on it. I winced in pain and removed my hands, placing them at my side.

Now that I was free what was I going to do? The only thing that I want to do right now is go see Shikamaru and tell him that I'm alright, but can't just up and leave the hospital. I don't even think I could get out the front door without anyone noticing me. But what else is there to do in the middle of the night?

I nodded to myself as I looked under the bed for a change of clothes. I hated that I knew my clothes would be there. I remember my mother's clothes lying under her hospital bed as she laid there wasting away. It was all I could look at, it was too painful to see her face all bandaged and scarred.

I changed out of the hospital robe into the dress that was brought there for me. I quietly made my way to the door and peered out into the hallway. No one was around, so I took this as my chance to attempt an escape. All I want to do right now is be with Shikamaru, I don't care if I end up opening the wound again, and I don't care if I get in trouble for running away.

Eventually I was able to make my way out of the hospital. A big sigh of relief came out as I finally left that hellhole. But now I had to run as I'm sure my empty bed has been noticed, and they would come looking for me outside soon. So I ran. I ran all the way to the Nara's and I stood outside the front door as I thought about Shikamaru being no more than thirty feet away from me.

I reached up to the top of the door frame and pulled the spare key out from a tiny hole Shikaku-san had carved. I unlocked the door and entered the dark home; everything was quiet, as it was in the hospital. It was well past bed time, so I quietly closed the door behind me and walked towards Shikamaru's room.

When I reached my room I stopped and pushed the door open. It looked just like how I had left it before I left for Suna, like nothing had ever happened. I sighed and walked the few steps towards Shikamaru's room on the other side of the hall.

I stood in front of his door and looked at the door knob. What was I going to do when I got in there? What if he had actually gotten to sleep? What if I just make everything worse by coming here? I immediately began to regret my decision to escape and my breathing escalated. I kneeled down and wrapped my arms around my knees, retreating from the world. I just need to calm down. Shikamaru is on the other side of this door for crying out loud! The one person that can make everything alright is so close.

The door in front of me opened slightly, and then opened all the way. Shikamaru kneeled down in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders, "What the hell are you doing here? Are you trying to make your neck worse?" The tone in his voice was sad just like before.

I lifted my head and fresh tears fell. I looked into his face and I was reminded again why I came here in the first place. "D-Don't be sad... I'm ok. I promise." I told him as I put my hands on either side of his face, and put my forehead to his.

"Yuri... you spoke." Shikamaru's breathe smelled sweet, like candy apple. He was in a t-shirt and shorts, his regular pyjamas.

I nodded and smiled, "See... I'm all better." My voice was raspy and it hurt like hell to say that. But Shikamaru doesn't need to know that.

"Don't strain yourself." He sighed and put his hands over mine, pulling them off his face and holding them tightly. "You came here because you were worried about me?" He raised an eyebrow.

I nodded, my forehead still touching his. Then I noticed how close our lips were. If either of us were to lean forward just an inch, we would be kissing. "I take back what I said before. You really are a bother."

I pouted as he explained, "Worrying more about me than yourself... You almost died Yuri, and now you won't let anyone near your neck without freaking out. You should be mad at me for ruining your life, not worried about how guilty I feel." The Nara's voice was low and his hands tensed in mine. "This is exactly what I was trying to avoid by rejecting you in Suna."

The entire time Shikamaru said this I was looking into his eyes. Every word he said was the truth, and I could tell he was regretting ever letting 'whatever happens happens'. I couldn't take this; when he left the hospital today it felt like he was pushing me away, and now it feels just the same. So... I leaned forward that inch. Well it wasn't really leaning forward as much as it was more like propelling myself into him.

Shikamaru fell back and I fell on top of him. He was obviously taken back by my sudden boldness and moved his hands to my shoulders to push me away. But when he placed his hands on my shoulders he gave in and began to kiss me back.

I can't believe this. Just a mere five months ago Shikamaru and I couldn't even spend five minutes with each other without the situation becoming awkward. Now it's the middle of the night, I'm on top of him, and we're kissing.

One of his hands moved from my shoulder to my waist pulling me down closer to him. Our kiss became even deeper, and as a result my stomach erupted with butterflies and my heart just beat harder and harder. Just like every other time Shikamaru had touched me...

But then his other hand that still rested on my shoulder slightly moved towards my neck. As much as I didn't want to, I automatically pulled back and flinched a little. Shikamaru and I stared at each other while his hand continued to move towards my neck until his fingers lightly grazed the bandages. I became very tense and just concentrated on not moving. I was not going to freak out because of Shikamaru. I was not.

"I still think you should hate me." Shikamaru whispered as he looked down to my neck, his fingers still grazing my wound.

It stung a little but I responded, "How can I hate the person that means the most to me?"

I leaned back down and I kissed him again. Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into me, but Shikamaru didn't seem to mind. After sharing multiple little kisses our lips eventually broke and we stared at each other. He looked so surprised, and yet, he seemed content.

The warm sunlight began to fill the room, indicating that was now the beginning of another day. 5 days since that horrible incident. Shikamaru sighed and looked over to the window, his arms resting comfortably around me. "Your father is going to kill me." He thought out loud as my head fell into his chest, the mood completely ruined.

Then there was a loud knock on the door. Shikamaru got up, pulling me with him, "That's probably someone from the hospital looking for you." He shook his head as he let go of me and headed towards the front door.

It seems like I just can't escape that horrible place. Damn it.

* * *

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't restrain you again Yuri," Tsunade-sama asked me angrily as she was checking up on me.

"I won't escape again. I promise." I whispered to her, my voice still hoarse. For the love of God I did not want to be restrained again.

"You know that isn't the reason why you were restrained." Tsunade sighed as she looked over my medical chart. "It says here you panicked every time someone got too close to your neck."

I shook my head and took Shikamaru's hand and placed it on my neck, "See, all good." I nodded and held Shikamaru's hand there. I was hoping that Tsunade couldn't see that my hand was shaking, and I was hoping that Shikamaru wouldn't give me away.

"And you," Tsunade turned to Shikamaru, "Don't you have a mission you need to go on? You can't stay around here all the time."

Shikamaru looked over to me, and I let go of his hand. I could tell he was worried about how my hand was shaking. He sighed and placed his hand back into his pocket, "I'll try to be back before the end of the day." And with that, Shikamaru left for his mission, leaving Tsunade and I alone.

"What I want to know is if you're not a ninja, how were you able to escape from here without being seen?" The blonde mused as she reached for my neck.

I flinched slightly before her hands touched the bandages, but was able to keep my composure as she started to remove them. At least I was making progress...

When the bandages came off, the horrible feeling of exposure returned. I quickly placed my hands over my neck, but gently this time. This was one thing that I was not going to stop doing, at least not until the feeling of air going into my neck goes away.

Tsunade stood there quietly as she waited for me to put my hands down. It was kind of nice; I didn't expect her to just wait for me. After a minute I let go and gripped the bed tightly. "Thank you," Tsunade said as she pulled out some anaesthetic and began to clean my neck.

If I thought the feeling of my neck being exposed was bad, this was worse. I knew it was going to hurt, but I just didn't think it would be _this bad_. Tears fell down my face as Tsunade didn't stop until she was done. She quickly put the new bandages on, and then wrote something down in my chart.

"With what you did yesterday, you've delayed healing for a good two weeks. You shouldn't talk anymore until the stitches come out. If you have to, make it only once or twice a day. That's it." She explained to me as she put the chart away and pulled out a pen and pad. "This will have to do for now."

I pouted as I took it and nodded. I would have rebutted more if I wasn't still reeling from the pain in my neck. Tsunade waved goodbye, saying she had to go see more patients. I sighed and waved back, glad that she didn't restrain me again.

Later on in the day when visitor hours started, Ino came by with a brand new flower in hand. "When Shikamaru told me today that you woke up, I came over as soon as I could." She was beaming and was obviously unaware of my freak outs.

I smiled and wrote down on the pad, _thank you for the flowers_.

"No problem! It's the least I could do. I couldn't fully heal your neck on the mission, it's my fault you're still in here." Ino sighed and clenched her fists slightly.

_If you hadn't healed me I would be dead. If I have to stay in here for a little while, then I'd much prefer this over death. So thank you. _I lifted the pad so she could read what I wrote. After she finished she smiled faintly and nodded, "Your welcome."

"Yuri!" I heard someone shout my name from down the hall. _Dad?_ I thought as he came through the door and came straight to my bed, holding onto my hand. "Are you ok?"

I nodded to my Dad and wrote down on the pad, _I'm fine dad_.

He sighed, "When I found out what happened, I almost had a heart attack. I left as soon as I could." I looked around and saw Ino had left the room. I'd have to thank her for that later.

My dad looked like he wasn't in good shape. I'm sure he's not exaggerating when he means he almost had a heart attack. After what happened to my mom, my almost dying by ninjas must have reminded him so much of that previous pain. My dad was barely able to get over my mom dying; I don't think he would have been able to survive my death.

"If I didn't sign a contract to stay in Suna until the end of year I would have brought down all my stuff and come back... Why was I so stupid?" My dad was beating himself up inside. Just like Shikamaru was. Man, why does everyone feel guilty for something they couldn't help?

_Dad it's ok. _I didn't really want to write down all I wanted to say next, so I decided that my voice could handle a little more talking today. Not to mention it might make my dad feel better if he saw I could still talk. "Going to Suna is the first thing you've done for your own sake since mom died. You should finish what you started. I'll be fine here." I tried to reason with him.

My dad looked at me for a minute after I said this, trying to gauge whether or not I really was fine. I hope that my face didn't give away the fact that I was a wreck. That I'm afraid to go to sleep because I might have nightmares and that I can't let anyone besides Shikamaru near my neck without getting defensive. I mean like, I almost freaking died! There was no way in hell I could be fine! So I just kept hoping...

The brown haired man in front of me sighed in defeat. "If you're sure you'll be fine, then okay. But I'm going to see if your uncle can come down from the Water country to stay with you. It'll probably take a month or so for him to get his things over here and make the transfer official, but I trust him with you more than I can trust Kohona ninja's right now." He told me as he put a hand on my head and ruffled my hair a bit.

I nodded. What he was offering was a good compromise, but I had this nagging feeling in my stomach. I'd be able to stay at the Nara's for another month, but...

* * *

It was later on in the evening and visiting hours were almost done so my dad was leaving to let me get some sleep. I played along pretending that sleep was even a possibility until he left the room. When he left I got out of bed and stared out the window, sighing deeply. I was hoping Shikamaru would be able to make it in time, but I guess not.

I looked up to the sky and noticed it the overcast of rain clouds. How perfect for the situation...

"What are you doing here? You should be ashamed of yourself!" I heard my dad shout from the hallway, like he had done when he came.

I raised an eyebrow for a second in confusion, and then I realized who he was yelling at. I made my way over to the door as my dad continued to shout, "How could you let this happen to her? I should have never trusted you."

I frowned; I didn't like my dad talking like this to Shikamaru. He felt bad enough already without my dad reminding him of what's happened. I reached the door and peered outside. My dad was in between Shikamaru and me, having his back to me. Shikamaru spotted me and my heart jumped the second he did.

The Nara looked at me for a moment then turned his gaze to my father, "Suisen-sama, I..."

He started but my dad corrected him, "It's Sukai-sama to you." My dad was as cold as ice to him.

My breathing began to get quicker as I realized what was going to happen now. "Stay away from my daughter. In a month she'll be out of your house, but in the meantime I'll make sure your mother stops you two from seeing each other." He commanded as I retreated back into the room, unable to watch anymore.

My dad was breaking Shikamaru and I up... And I don't think Shikamaru is going to do anything to stop it. This can't be happening.


	10. This Whole Situation is a Pain

**This Whole Situation is a Pain in the Ass**

**Nara Shikamaru**

This whole situation was a pain the ass. When Yuri's neck was slashed, I was freaking out because I thought she would die. Then when she didn't, she was dumb enough to ignore her pain and worry about me feeling guilty. Now her dad is ready to kill me the first chance he can get, and even though Yuri's room is literally five steps away from mine I can't see her.

I knew being in a relationship was messy and dramatic, but I never thought it would go to this extent. Yuri didn't seem like the type of person who welcomed drama, but drama seemed to float around her regardless. How troublesome...

She came home early from the hospital about a week ago on account of the fact that she was having more panic attacks. They thought that she would recover a lot faster if she wasn't in a hospital, which knowing her, that probably won't make much of a difference. I knew not being able to see me was going to take a big toll on her. But what I didn't expect was how much not being able to see her affected me.

I can't seem to concentrate on anything else even when I really try; it's irritating that this is bothering me so much. This was probably for the best though, before Yuri and I got too involved. My mother obeyed her father and made sure that we were to be separated at any given moment. She even went to the extreme to serving Yuri's food in her room so she wouldn't sit at the dining table for Christ sakes.

But even though my mom had separated us I couldn't seem to get away from her. When I go out, everything I see or do somehow brings my thoughts back to her. When I come home, I always look at her door when I walk to my room. And when I get in bed to sleep, I swear to God it always smells like her too. But if this is what her father wants then I can't dispute it; it would be disrespectful to him if I did. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

"No! Absolutely not!" Tsunade shouted.

My jaw clenched slightly, "If we leave them out there they'll make another attempt to get the Phresdena. You know that!" I tried to reason with Tsunade.

"Shikamaru you are not going to go out there looking for Yuri's attackers, and that's final." The old hag leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "We'll send another team to look into it, for now you need to recover."

I groaned as I realized what she was referring to. I was sent on a mission a few days after Yuri's father yelled at me, and well... Like I said before, I can't concentrate on anything but her. "I'm fine now. I can join the team that goes." Physically I was fine, some minor bruises but that was nothing I couldn't handle.

The longer we wait to send out a team, the harder it will be to find them. Now that around two weeks has past the only way we can probably catch them is to set up a trap. I'm sure by now they realize that they got a fake and are itching to their hands on the real thing.

Tsunade stood up and slammed her fists on her desk. "No you're not fine. We both know the real reason why you got injured on that last mission. Until you can sort out your feelings, you're not allowed to leave Kohona." I glared at Tsunade. As much as I didn't want to admit it, she was right. There was no reason for me to be as distracted as I was during that mission.

She sighed and sat back down, "Besides, it's not really you, or the attackers I'm worried about. It's Yuri." I took in a sharp breath as she continued, "When I released her from the hospital it was only because some moron had put her in same room her mother died in. I was able to get there before she did anything too drastic, but she left in pretty bad shape."

I cringed slightly, "Why are you telling me this? It's not like I can do anything about it now." The one thing I that annoyed me the most about this whole situation was how Yuri is in pain, and I have to stand by idly while she digs herself deeper and deeper.

The hokage paused for a moment before responding, "Because at this point I think you're the only one who can make a difference with her." I placed my hands in my pockets and looked to the ground. "Shikamaru, the only mission I'm going to be sending you on right now is to go home and recover. You're dismissed." The hokage ordered me.

I guess I really had no choice in the matter. God damn it.

On my way home, my dad had caught up to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, "You look like crap." He noted as we stopped to talk to each other, "Maybe some shogi will cheer you up."

"Yeah, because being beat by you is so much fun." I scowled at the thought.

Regardless of that, I still played my dad when we got home. It just meant that I could delay heading into my room and consequently, delay sulking over Yuri. Midway in the game my dad just had to bring her up though, "Yuri doesn't seem to be doing so well."

I sighed and waited for him to continue, "Maybe you should go talk to her." My dad moved the pawn on the far left forward one square.

"Are you trying to get me killed by her father? Or worse, mom?" I mumbled as I moved one of my bishops. Why can't people just leave me alone? Back in Suna everyone gave me grief for rejecting her, and now that I **can't** see her, everyone is still giving me grief.

My dad looked up from the board, "Shikamaru, sometimes you need to oppose what others say to do the right thing."

He continued when he saw my sceptical face, "Yuri may be a kind person to everyone, but it's pretty obvious when it comes to you, she'll put you above everyone else. She loves you, and you should cherish that. Regardless of what her father, or what your mother thinks." My dad paused for a second to move another pawn, "And besides, she needs you now more than ever."

I knew Yuri liked me, but _love_? I wasn't really sure how to respond to that. We only started to spend time together about five months ago. There's no way that love could develop that quickly. I debated with myself for a minute whether or not I should ask my dad a question. In the end, I decided it was better knowing than to be oblivious. "Dad, how long were you and mom together before you realized you loved her?" How he could love her at all, I don't know.

He seemed pleased that I was continuing the conversation and thought for a moment. "Well... I realized I loved her maybe about year or so into dating." How my dad could put up with my mom for a year like that makes no sense. "But I had felt it a long time before I actually realized it." He finished and moved again.

The answer to that question doesn't help me the way I thought it would. Like I know how attached Yuri is to me. When we're together she doesn't seem to hold back her feelings at all, so it makes her really easy to read. I sighed; now all I'll be able to think about is the prospect that Yuri may love me.

After about ten minutes my dad beat me yet again. This is going to be a long day.

* * *

The next morning I woke up a little later than I usually did. I rolled over to my side and glanced over to the spot on my floor where Yuri and I kissed. What was she thinking? Running away from the hospital at 5am in the morning...

Then I remembered what my dad said last night about Yuri being in love with me. Her escaping from the hospital would make sense then. Why she so blindly ignored the fact that she was falling apart to make sure that I wasn't. I lifted my arm and shielded my eyes from the sun that now came from the window. The worse part of it all is the fact that even though I was thinking of pushing her away when she kissed me, my body reacted in the complete opposite. I actually pulled her closer to me.

Why can't I just go on with life normally? Why do I have to care about her so much?

I decided to go visit Asuma-sensei's grave today. In a situation like this he would always help me out. Although he would probably laugh and say something stupid like, "Without love there would be no King to protect."

When I arrived at his grave I yawned and looked at his name engraved in the stone. "Heh. I always figured that you would be the one I would end up going to for girl problems. I'm sorry you didn't get met Yuri; she really is a great girl. It's just... Everyone keeps pulling me in different directions and I just don't know what to do." I admitted to him.

The sun shined brightly on his grave as I stood there, waiting for something to happen. A month ago Yuri and I were fine; we would spend time together when we could. She was busy with her research and I was busy with missions. Our relationship wasn't like some couples that were with each other all the time. We both had lives outside of each other and we knew that.

How spending time with each other every now and then turned into this, I have no clue. If on the mission I had spent more time coming up with strategies Yuri would be alright and we would still be able to see each other. It was just so hard to consider all the different possibilities based off so little knowledge of the enemy. I could only account for so many variables...

"Shikamaru?" I turned back to see Kurenai, appearing to be bursting at the seams.

"Sheesh. You're huge." I commented to her as she came up beside me.

She laughed, "You sort of get big when you're eight months pregnant." The kunoichi told me as she placed some flowers onto Asuma's grave.

As I was helping her to get back up (you know, since she's gigantic with a kid), I noticed the flowers she put down, "Lilies?" I questioned.

Kurenai looked back down to the flowers and nodded, "I thought I'd get something a little bit different for him today. These lilies stood out to me in the shop."

I guess I'm going to have to figure this one out on my own. I knew Asuma wasn't going to be of much help to me.

* * *

After some talking I waved goodbye to Kurenai and decided to get something to eat. I reached into my pocket to see how much money I had in my wallet, but didn't find anything. "Ahhhh... I forgot it at home." I sighed and shook my head. I could go home and get my wallet to eat, or I could just skip lunch and sleep.

The second option sounded nice to me, but then my stomach growled. I guess I'm headed home.

When I came back the house was empty. My mom had already left to do some gossiping with the neighbours or something, content that I wasn't coming back until later. And my dad left early this morning on a mission. Forgetting my wallet has put me in a situation where I could see Yuri without anyone knowing.

As I made my way up the stairs to my room I quietly walked passed her room, deciding that it would be best to just leave her alone. If she really did love me like my dad said, then a clean break is the best way for her to get over me. I opened the door to my room, and froze immediately at what I saw.

The reason why my bed always smelled like Yuri now was because she would sleep in it when I was gone. She was curled up in my bed, facing me with her eyes shut. She looked... peaceful.

I walked over to the bed and sat in the corner, making sure not to disturb her. I propped up my head with my hand by resting my elbow on my knee. I watched her silently as she laid there, content. I looked over to my nightstand where my wallet sat, and then I looked back at Yuri. I could grab the wallet and leave; she would never know I saw her.

But then my bed would still smell like her when I go to sleep tonight. And now I'll be vividly aware of the fact that it smells like her because hours before hand she had been there.

Although she looked content, she also looked very tired. If she slept during the day now, what did she do at night? Was she unable to sleep on her own? Why would my bed make any difference from hers?

I know that what I should do is leave and ignore her. Eventually I'll be able to concentrate again and Yuri and I will start to drift apart like we did when we were younger. She wasn't the type of person that would let something like this prevent her from moving forward. Yuri would eventually get over me.

My heart throbbed when I thought about that. Yuri would eventually get over me. Even if she did love me like my dad says, she would move on and meet someone else. I would meet someone else as well, and we both would be happy with them. If I knew that this was going to happen, why did I feel so opposed to it?

Stupid Asuma... Why did he have to die? I can only imagine what he would say in this type of situation; but imagining is a lot different than reality. I began to go through all the different possibilities and outcomes that could result from this; if I stayed and talked to Yuri when she woke up, or if I left with my wallet right now.

While I was thinking Yuri turned so her back was facing me, but after she did so she sat up and looked down to the corner of the bed. I guess she could tell she wasn't alone on the bed. I looked at her as she froze; her breathing immediately sped up and she jumped out of my bed. "Sorry." She whispered and ran off to her room, embarrassed that she got caught in my bed.

I took one last glance at my wallet then got up and followed behind her, "Wait." Her door was left wide open when I entered the room, but she had seemed to disappear.

I raised an eyebrow as I looked around for where she could have hidden. She couldn't have jumped out the window; it was sort of a second story fall. I looked down to the floor and saw a small space under her bed. I shook my head as I kneeled down in front of her bed and looked under it. Her back was facing me, trying to ignore me. "Yuri, could you please come out from under there?"

She shook her head, "No, I can't."

Great, she's being difficult with me. I reached under the bed grabbing onto her arm pulling her towards me. Once I got her out from under of the bed I let go, and she immediately crawled herself back under the bed. I rolled my eyes as I pulled her out again but this time placing my right hand by her side, in between her and the bed. My left hand rested on the spot beside her head and I was now on top of her, making sure she couldn't escape.

Why was I doing this? I haven't even decided whether or not talking to Yuri was worth it, and yet here I am.

After about a minute, Yuri gave up on hiding and just laid there, avoiding my gaze. She didn't have any bandages around her neck; it was lightly bruised and black stitches held the wound together. There were tears in her eyes as she clenched her hands into fists.

"Are you having nightmares?" I asked her. It was the only thing that would explain why she was sleeping in my room. It was the closest to being with me, without actually being with me.

She faintly nodded and shut her eyes as the tears in her eyes fell down to the ground. I lifted my hand that was beside her head and wiped away some of the tears on her face. She was so... broken.

Then as my hand grazed her jaw slightly, it was too close to her neck for comfort. She immediately closed her neck in her hands; her entire body was shying away from mine. I didn't say anything as I placed my hand over hers and slowly tried to release her grip. She finally looked at me when I did this. Her eyes were red from so much crying.

After she looked at me, she started to relax her hands. I sighed as I took her right hand into my left and placed it back beside her head. Her left hand was clenched on her chest.

If she really loves me like my dad says she does, does she realize it herself? She did say that I'm the one person that means the most to her, but does that mean she knows she loves me? If she even loves me at all. I just didn't get it. Ever since she moved in I've been complaining about women all the time. Besides that all I do is nap, play shogi or go, and go on missions. How could she love someone like me?

"Yuri... I..." I started unsure what I was going to say. I started to lean down towards her, getting closer.

Then Yuri started to panic. She pulled herself out from under me and slid back until she hit the wall, trying to get as far away from me as she could. "Shikamaru... please, don't." She pleaded, avoiding eye contact again.

I couldn't help myself now; I got closer to her and placed my hands on either side of her, locking her in. She was telling me to go away, but I just couldn't. Not when she was like this. "Why?" I questioned her, moving one of my hands to grab her chin.

I slowly turned her face to look at me. More tears came out as she said, "Because... if you do then it'll be impossible to get over you."

I took in a sharp breath. Ok, I have to make a decision now. If I stay with her now then I would be directly opposing my mom's and her father's wishes. If I go she would probably fall apart, but would eventually be able to pick the pieces back up.

I looked back down to the wound on her neck; it was there because of me. The scar she would get from it would be a constant reminder of how I failed to protect her. But then I noticed that around her neck was the necklace I gave her for her birthday. "Do you want to get over me?" I asked her.

If she really wanted to get over me she would try to get rid of everything that reminds her of me. Albeit that would be very hard when she lives in the same house as me, but at the very least she wouldn't be wearing that necklace.

She shook her head and answered with the one thing I wanted to hear the most, "No... That's the last thing in the world that I want." More tears came out of her eyes.

Fuck. She loves me. How can I respect what her father wants now when it's so obvious that neither of us wants to let go? I did say whatever happens, happens, right? So if I happen to kiss her now, and then kiss her again tomorrow and again the next day... Then I can say that it just happened right?

Well no, but whatever. Staying away from her is too troublesome; if I stay away now then I'll just regret it for the rest of my life.

"Good." I murmured as I leaned in closer to her.

She tried to pull back away, but I held her face in place. Eventually, my lips met hers. Last time when we were kissing it was more... gentle. This time it was needier, more frantic; like we couldn't stay apart anymore. Her arms moved to be around my neck as I put my arms around her waist pulling her closer.

After we got that out of our system, Yuri sighed and wiped the tears off her face. "It's not fair. You affect me so much, and yet I don't affect you at all." She murmured.

I raised an eyebrow at her, if she had no affect on me then why did I just kiss her like that...? I shook my head and took her hand, holding it to my heart. My heart had been beating hysterically ever since I saw Yuri asleep in my bed. "Does it look like you don't affect me now?" I questioned her.

Yuri looked down to my chest where my hand held hers and started to laugh. "Your heart is beating as hard as mine." She giggled slightly.

I raised one of my eyebrows. How could someone who was in such pain ten minutes ago be giggling now? Women...

Then Yuri caught me off guard and kissed me again, her arms snaking their way around my neck again. Well I really can't complain; it's not like I don't like it. I only wish she could give me a little warning now and then.

* * *

"Your neck looks like its healing." I mentioned to Yuri as she picked up a rice ball and took a bite.

After we had kissed again Yuri had broke out into tears. Obviously I comforted her, but I just don't get how someone can go from broken, to giggling and... eager, then to crying and broken again. And here I thought she was the only sane woman I knew.

Ehhh then again she did almost die two weeks ago. I suppose she's allowed to have a few weeks of insanity. All of the crying and mood swings is annoying, but worth it. I'd much rather deal with mood swings than guilt over ruining her life.

Anyways, somewhere in the crying Yuri noticed how my stomach wouldn't stop growling. I told her I could get food and come right back, but she clung to me saying she would go with me.

Yuri blushed slightly as she swallowed her food, "If it looks like its better now, I don't want to know how it looked before..." She rubbed the bandages around her neck as she said this. "What happened to your arm?"

I looked down to my arm that was covered in bandages. I shrugged, "I've been having trouble concentrating lately." I admitted to her, "On my last mission I got a little beat up."

Concern immediately came across Yuri's face. "But I'm fine now." I reassured her. She didn't need another reason to be upset.

She pouted, "If you say so..." After eating some more food Yuri continued, "Uhm... What's going to happen with us now? I mean like... your mom isn't going to let us see each other anytime soon."

I took a bite of my sushi and shrugged, "We'll figure it out."

Yuri's eyebrows creased in response, "As long as it's 'we'" she mumbled and took another bite. I laughed and shook my head.


	11. Let Me Get Over You

**Let Me Get Over You**

I stared at the ceiling trying to find patterns in the darkness. I can't sleep at night anymore; I keep getting the same nightmare that I first got in the hospital. The nightmare where I'm on the ground, my hands are closed around my neck. Then when I remove my hands and stare at them all I see is blood.

Never ending amounts of blood.

It's everywhere. On my hands, on my dress, all over my face, on the ground in front of me. Then as the blood starts to overtake everything my attacker appears from inside of the redness. I try to run away, but I can't move anymore. So I look away, hoping that if I don't look he'll disappear. Then he grabs my face to make me look at him every time I try to look away. His face is bleeding, as he tells me over and over, "This is what you deserve."

I was released from the hospital about a week ago. Initially I was supposed to be there until my stitches were removed due to the panic attacks. I couldn't be trusted on my own until I couldn't cause anymore damage. But then when they made me switch rooms… Well… I just **couldn't** stay there anymore.

So now I spend all my time in my room at the Nara's. As I thought, Shikamaru wasn't going to try to stop my dad from breaking us up. He listened to his mom as she told him if he ever saw me, he had to turn around and walk away. I haven't seen him since that day, and it's absolutely killing me.

The hole that's been collecting in my chest ever since the accident just seems to get bigger and bigger every time I think about Shikamaru. It's like I can feel someone, something digging away at my insides.

I know that I should give up on him. Our parents won't let us see each other, and like he said before: he's a ninja. Issues like this are always going to come up. Someone's going to get hurt, someone is going to feel bad, and there will **always** be repercussions.

But I just can't do it. My mind tells me that I should give up on him, and that there is no way that we'll ever be together, let alone stay at friends. It's just… my heart doesn't want to give up hope. I keep thinking that maybe the next time he passes by my door he'll stop and come in. That he'll ignore what his mother told him, and he'll disregard my father's threats.

The worst part of this all is that I was falling apart even when I had Shikamaru's support. And now, it feels like I'm some sort of dying lamb that's been thrown into a pack of lions. There's absolutely no hope to recover.

I sighed and rolled to my side, and closed my eyes. I was **so** tired; all I wanted to do was sleep. But every time I got a glimpse of sleep the nightmare showed up.

I hate this. I hate everything so much. How did one moment end up completely changing everything?

The next morning, after everyone had already left the house, I got out of bed and yawned. I left my room and walked the five steps down to Shikamaru's room. I looked at the door, just like how I had done when I woke up for the first time since the accident.

I shook my head and opened the door, entering the empty room. I yawned again as I sat on Shikamaru's bed, looking around at his things. A shogi board on the floor with pieces lying on the floor beside it, the bookshelf that spanned most of the wall in front of his bed; all these things just screamed Shikamaru.

I know it's not a good idea to be sleeping in the room of the person that you want to get over and let go. But when it's the only way you can sleep, what other choice do you have? I know that this is basically like digging my own grave, but I can't help it.

I lie down in his bed and pull the covers over me. He didn't make his bed again, how lazy. I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath. This is the only way I can sleep without the fear of nightmares coming to me. Shikamaru's scent all around me as I lay in his bed; it calms me down so much.

Then not even a minute after I lied down, sleep overcame me.

* * *

The next day when everyone else left in the morning I got out of my bed and got ready to head to Shikamaru's room. But as I was about to exit my room there was a knock on the door. I sighed and grabbed some bandages that were on my desk, wrapping them around my neck as I made my way to the door. I learned to get used to the 'exposedness' of my neck, which seemed to be the only progress I was making.

When I opened the front door, I was slightly taken aback by who was there. Both Ino and Sakura stood at the door; the fact that they were both here to see me was a little… weird. "Morning." I told them casually.

"Yuri, we're here to steal you for the day." Ino told me as she and Sakura pushed their way into the house.

"Now go get dressed." Sakura then began to push me towards the stairs.

I sighed; this is their attempt to not feel so bad about what happened to me. I mean like, why else would Ino and Sakura be together like this? They didn't typically spend time together anymore… I guess if I go along with their plan maybe I can convince them that I'm okay and they will leave me alone after that.

Turns out that they wanted to take me shopping for clothes and things to go around my neck. I guess they thought that the reason I didn't go out all week was because I was embarrassed about my neck. The actual reason being I just didn't want to go out. All I wanted to do was crawl into Shikamaru's bed and be as close to him as I can right now.

Urgh… Hole in chest getting deeper.

After about three hours of shopping and five shopping bags later we decided to go eat. It was only around noon but I was having trouble staying awake. Once we found a restaurant, we ate outside with Ino and Sakura on the opposite side of the table.

"So how are you doing Yuri?" Sakura asked me as we waited for our food.

Well, I'm tired as hell because of the nightmares I get every night. My boyfriend and I broke up last week because my neck was slashed and my father holds him personally responsible. So even though we live in the same house I can't see him, and have to be constantly reminded of this when I leave my room since his room is 5 steps away from mine.

"I'm doing ok." I lied as the hole got even deeper.

Ino and Sakura looked at each other for a second before Ino spoke up, "I still have your birthday present sitting at the shop. We should pick it up before we all go home."

Then the food came and I was grateful for the interruption in conversation. As I was eating I was concentrating so much on staying awake that Sakura's and Ino chatter just flew past my head. I pushed around my rice on my plate, mixing it in with everything else.

Why couldn't they have just let me sleep?

"… So I told the woman that … and then she …" Ino was telling some sort of story; I only paid attention to some parts.

"No way!" Sakura shrieked. I jumped at slightly at that. It made me realize that before I had jumped I was already dozing off.

I tried to keep my eyes open, but they were just so heavy… I moved my plate over and lowered my head onto the table.

Then the nightmare came. This time I was standing, holding onto the throwing knife. Then my attacker came from behind and held the blade to my neck, slicing it in one quick swipe. Blood immediately started to pour everywhere; it was like a waterfall at the rate it was going. Then slowly red started to consume everything…

I screamed and immediately stood up holding onto my neck. "Yuri! Calm down!" Ino and Sakura had come over to my side of the table, holding onto my arms, trying to get my hands off my neck.

My eyes were shut tight and I didn't want to let go. I was sure that everyone around us was looking at me as I was having yet another panic attack. "Yuri!" They shouted again as I slowly released my grip, the nightmare getting less vivid in my memory.

I opened my eyes and saw the girls' worried faces; they didn't seem at all embarrassed at my little outburst. I sighed and wiped my face, "Can I go home now?" I whispered to them, my voice was sore from the scream.

They nodded and picked up their stuff, leaving their food half eaten. So much for stealing me for the day.

* * *

I sighed as I entered my room and placed the shopping bags on the floor beside my desk. I still had a few hours until anyone was supposed to come home. I can get some sleep in the meantime.

Before leaving my room I removed the bandages that were around my neck and cleaned the blood that had come out from when I squeezed it too hard. My neck was bruised purple, green and yellow, with some of the bruises in the shape of my fingers.

I entered Shikamaru's room and I became aware of the whole in my chest again. I grabbed the alarm clock beside his wallet and set it to ring in three hours. Three hours of sleep isn't much, but its three hours of peace.

I got into Shikamaru's bed and I took in a deep breath, letting his wonderful smell overtake my senses. Soon I will be able to have a dreamless sleep free of nightmares. As I slowly began to lose consciousness, I slowly took in another deep breath. The hole in my chest ached when I did, but the reward I got from it seemed to outweigh the pain. I can never ever get enough of his scent.

I know this is bad. It's a spiraling cycle that will only result in me becoming broken beyond repair. This isn't healthy. I should be trying to get away from Shikamaru, not clinging to something that I can never have. Why couldn't my Dad wait a few weeks before breaking Shikamaru and I up? He had to have known how much Shikamaru means to me, and that doing this to me would do me absolutely no good.

I turned around in Shikamaru's bed to face the wall, but as I did I noticed some extra weight at the bottom of the bed. My heart started pounding and my breathing stopped. Someone had come home early and was now sitting at the bottom of the bed. I took in an unsteady breath as I sat up and turned to face whoever it was.

The second I saw who was there my breathing went from unsteady to rapid. Very rapid. Sitting at the bottom of the bed was the one person that I had been banned from seeing. The hole in my chest started to grow larger and larger. If sleeping in his room was putting back my recovery by some specific measure of time, seeing him has put back my recovery at least a 1000 times more than that.

Before he could say anything, I got myself out of his bed and quickly mumbled, "Sorry." And then ran to my room.

"Wait." I heard Shikamaru as he followed after me.

I was panicking. Hell, panicking doesn't even describe it half of it. What was I supposed to do? All I wanted was to just sleep; now I don't even think sleep is possible. When I got into my room I immediately looked for a place to hide. The first empty space I saw was under my bed, so I hurriedly crawled under it. I got as close to the wall my bed was on, and as far as possible from reach on the side I crawled in.

All week I've wanted him to come into my room so badly, and now that he was in here all I wanted was for him to go away. My face burned from embarrassment. I was just caught sleeping in his bed!

Then it was silent… Maybe Shikamaru decided to leave? But then I heard some shuffling and I felt his eyes on my back, "Yuri, could you please come out from under there?" My heart skipped a beat when I heard him say my name.

Now the hole in my chest was aching more and more. Why did he have to follow me? I waited for my heart to slow down a bit before responding, "No, I can't." My throat was still sort of sore from screaming at the restaurant earlier.

Please, let him leave me alone. If he doesn't intend on being with me he should turn back now while he has the chance. Otherwise I might as well just give up let the pain and sorrow take over completely.

I shut my eyes tightly as I felt his hand grab my arm. He pulled me out from underneath my bed out into the open. As soon as he let go of me, I immediately tried to go back under the bed. It was more of a reflex than anything. I just needed to get away; away before I let myself has some real hope again.

The hope I had now was empty. It was empty because even though I hoped he would come, I knew he wouldn't. Now that he was actually here I can't let myself feel real hope and have him go away again. I just can't.

Shikamaru reached under the bed and grabbed my arm again; pulling me out effortlessly. This time though, he placed the arm that grabbed me between the bed and I, and his other arm beside my head. He was on top of me, trapping me in my place. I tried to go back under the bed, but after about a minute I realized that wasn't going to let me go.

I made sure to avoid his gaze at all costs. I looked to the empty spot under the bed where I wanted to go so badly. If I look at him, then that hope would start, and the hole would just get bigger and bigger.

"Are you having nightmares?" Shikamaru asked me.

How could he figure that out so quickly? Does he really know me that well? That I'm sleeping in his bed to avoid having nightmares?

I nodded and shut my eyes. I'm having a conversation with him. This isn't good. This isn't good at all.

Tears came out of my eyes as I felt the edges of the hole burning. My stomach was fluttering and my face was beginning to flush. Even though I'm in tremendous pain, my nervousness still found a way to take over.

I felt his hand lightly stroke my face, wiping away the tears that just fell. My stomach fluttered even more at his touch. His hand then lowered to touch my jaw and I just… reacted. I lifted my hands and for the second time today I enclosed them around my neck. I winced a little when I squeezed so tightly.

I didn't expect what he did next though. He placed his hand over mine and slowly tried to get me to let go. Every time I clasped my hands around my neck like this, everyone has either backed away or stayed where they were. No one _dared_ to get closer to me in this state, but now… he's…

Then I did something bad; I opened my eyes. He was looking at me with such sincerity. He didn't look at me with pity like the nurses in the hospital did. He didn't give me that worried look like Ino and Sakura had earlier today. He was looking at me like he wanted to console me.

My hands started to relax and I let go of my neck; the hole in my chest becoming a little smaller. I'm beginning to hope. I can't hope. Why am I hoping? If he wasn't going to stay he would have left by now right? Then that means that he's decided to ignore what his mom and my father said.

Ha. The thought of that sounds completely ridiculous. Why he would go against anything his mother said in the first place is ridiculous. Forget about what my father said.

He took one of my hands into his and placed it back at the side of my head. The hole in my chest began to become less noticeable as the butterflies in my stomach took over. Shikamaru and I haven't been this close since we did _that_.

Shikamaru looked at my eyes for a second, as if gauging my reaction. "Yuri… I…" He started to lean down closer to me, my stomach fluttered like crazy and my eyes widened.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I can't let him do this. I can't let him do _that_. If he does then I have no chance. I won't be able to stay away from him anymore. Even if he begs me to stay away, the only way he could get rid of me is if he killed me.

I loosened my hand out from under his and pulled myself out from under him. I kept moving back, trying to get as far away from him as I could. I couldn't let him do _that_. "Shikamaru… please, don't." I begged him, looking away from him again.

I know I'll give in the second I look into his eyes.

Shikamaru followed me as I backed up into the wall, and placed his hands on either side of me, trapping me in again. Now I had no way to escape.

Why is he doing this? Can't he see that I'm so broken? Right now he's so close to me that all I have to do is reach out and I would be hugging him…

"Why?" The Nara whispered, his face getting a little closer to mine as he grabbed my chin with his hand.

I'm scared. I'm really, really scared. I began to cry again as he moved my face so that I would be looking at him. When I saw his face, his eyes, I felt myself wanting to sob. I'm hoping now, I'm really hoping.

He could have left me all alone when he saw me sleeping in his bed. He could have left when I ran to my room. He could have left when he saw I was hiding under the bed. And he could have left when I pulled myself out from under him.

But he didn't. He's here, with me, so horribly close. He's defying his mother and my father by being here with me as I break down into so many pieces.

My breathing started to become shaky, "Because…" I felt a rush of blood to my face now, "If you do then it'll be impossible to get over you."

All week all I wanted to do was get over him. I tried to tell myself I could sleep just fine and that I didn't need to go to his room. That I should throw out everything that reminds me of him, and get rid of the stupid necklace that he gave me on my birthday.

That stupid necklace that was the most beautiful and wonderful present I've ever received.

Shikamaru's breath stopped for a moment after I said that. "Do you want to get over me?" The hand that he still had on my chin seemed to tremble a little, but then again I might be the one who's shaking.

I shook my head and told him the truth, "No… That's the last thing in the world that I want."

More tears came out as the sobs threatened to push forward at any second. I tried to get over him, I really did. But Shikamaru's just too deep in my heart to let him go.

He paused for a second; he seemed surprised by my answer. Then out of nowhere there was this sudden tension between us and I knew _that_ was coming. My heart was pounding like crazy as Shikamaru kept still, his face a few inches from mine.

"Good." He whispered as he got even closer to me.

I tried to pull back but he wouldn't let me. And then… we kissed.

The hole in my chest seemed to be overwhelmed by the butterflies that took over my entire body. I can't really even describe the rush of emotions that came when we were kissing. I felt so… happy. Even if he decided to go away after, being together like this now was definitely worth it.

I moved my arms to be around his neck and pulled him closer. If he was going to go away then I wanted to get as much of him as I could right now; while the hole in my chest was losing the battle.

Shikamaru placed his arms around my waist and pulled me even closer. I tried to take in deep breaths, but they ended up being quick and shallow. All I could concentrate on was his touch, his smell, his… lips.

Eventually Shikamaru pulled away and I felt the hole in my chest trying to push its way through the butterflies and take over again. I sighed, I knew this was coming. I wiped the tears off my face and took in a painful breath. Shikamaru would probably go away now.

"It's not fair." The hole in my chest was returning, "You affect me so much, and yet I don't affect you at all." I whispered trying to concentrate on anything besides the hole getting deeper.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and then grabbed my hand and held it up to his heart.

I immediately went into a state of shock. I could feel each individual heart beat; it was like his heart was trying to come out of his chest. His heart was beating just like mine.

I did have an effect on him. But then this means that he does care, and that being away from me affected him. Maybe not as much as it affected me, after all, we were separated right after I almost died. But it did bother him we weren't allowed to be together.

Then all of a sudden the hole was just eradicated and was replaced by… love. I love him. I love Nara Shikamaru.

I started to laugh at the thought, "Your heart is beating as hard as mine." I commented.

I love him. I really love him. I couldn't help myself and I kissed him again, moving my arms around my neck so I can pull myself closer to him again. I had to enjoy this moment; the moment where I realized the reason _why_ the hole hurt so much. It was because I loved him, and when we were separated it was like I was stabbed in the heart instead of having my neck slashed.

I love him. Ha ha. Who would have thought?

* * *

The sobs that had been trying to push forward before we kissed eventually won. Shikamaru was a little thrown off since in the middle of a kiss I just sort of… started sobbing. As he consoled me, I held onto him so tightly I felt him wince a few times.

"Er… Why are you crying?" Shikamaru asked me awkwardly.

I buried my head into his chest, I didn't want to look at him as I responded, "Because… I know as soon as I let go you're going to leave me again."

I was fine with him being here now. The hole seemed to be completely gone after I realized that I loved him. But I knew that as soon as he left me again the hole would come back even worse than before.

Shikamaru sighed and his arms relaxed slightly. "Is that it?"

I blinked and lifted my head, "Yeah… That's it." I responded, completely confused.

He wiped the tears off my face and then held my face in his hands, "Then you have nothing to worry about."

"But my dad—"

"Meh."

"And your mom?"

"Urgh."

"You're going to stay? With me?" My voice cracked as a fresh tear came out and ran down on of his hands.

He nodded as he let of my face and grabbed onto my hands.

He's not going away. The hole isn't ever going to come back. The only thing I need to worry about now is the scar that's going to be left on my neck when it heals. Oh and how Shikamaru and I will see each other since it's sort of forbidden. Which if you think about it, the fact that he's opposing his mother must mean he really wants to be with me.

I couldn't help but grin at that thought.

Then I heard a loud growling sound and we both looked down to his stomach, "Didn't you eat lunch?" I asked him.

He shook his head, "I forgot my wallet."


	12. Time To Wake Up

**Time to Wake Up**

I smiled as I slowly opened the door to Shikamaru's room and closed the door behind me. When I walk into his room in the mornings now, I feel the complete opposite of how I did two weeks ago. I walked over to the bed and saw Shikamaru sleeping on his back, his arm over his eyes. I shook his shoulder trying to wake him, but he only stirred slightly and rolled to his side.

Shikamaru and I agreed that since I'm always awake in the morning now, if he didn't have to leave early for a mission I would go wake him at dawn so we could spend time together. If he did have to leave early he would stop by my room for a few minutes before he left. Since usually no one else in the family is up that early, the plan was perfect.

In theory.

Some days I spent the entire time before he had to go trying to wake him up…

I shook his shoulder again, "Shikamaru," I whispered in his ear, "Time to wake up."

Nothing.

I pushed his shoulder rougher now, "Come on! It took you half an hour to wake up yesterday." I said a little louder now, getting frustrated.

I've tried almost everything I can think of when trying to get him to wake up. I've tried shaking him, opening his curtains so that the sunlight would wake him, pouring water on him, you name it. I even tried to see if kissing him would work, but he just laid there like dead weight.

The only thing that seemed to work was the water, but he was really cranky after I did that…

I fell onto my knees, and put my head down into my crossed arms that lied on his bed. "This isn't fair. This is wasting my Shikamaru time." I muttered.

My life nowadays is very centered around Shikamaru. I'm still nocturnal so I don't go out during the day like I used to. In fact in the past few days, Shikamaru has been the only person I've seen aside from Yoshino-san when she comes to give me my food.

"Your what?" The voice sounded like it was coming right from in front of me.

I lifted my head out of my arms and saw that Shikamaru was propping himself up on his elbow. He looked like he was half asleep. "My Shikamaru time." I said again.

He raised an eyebrow and sighed, letting himself drop back down onto his bed. I rested my chin on my arms so I could face Shikamaru as I continued, "it's true. I only get to see you for at most two hours a day and it usually takes half an hour to wake you up and to let you get ready. It's not fair."

"Yuri, life isn't fair." Shikamaru mumbled as he turned onto his stomach, hiding his face with his pillow. "We need to figure out something new. I hate waking up this early…"

I pouted and shook his shoulder, "No going back to sleep." I learned the hard way yesterday that I had to keep him awake until he got out of bed.

He groaned as I grabbed onto his arm, slowly pulling him out of his bed. He was **not** going to fall asleep again.

I was really beginning to like how close I could get to him both physically and emotionally. If it were any other girl pulling him out of his bed, I'm sure he would either be freaking out or yelling at them saying how annoying they are.

When I moved Shikamaru a few inches he held onto the other side of the bed, making it impossible for me to move him even a millimeter. Stupid ninjas and their need to be physically fit. I sighed and sat on his bed, completely defeated. "Not fair…"

Then Shikamaru grabbed me around my waist and pulled me down to be lying in bed with him. "Let's just sleep." He whispered quietly.

My face felt hot as Shikamaru slightly adjusted his arm so that it was just resting on the smallest part of my waist. His proposition was very tempting; in three hours I would be in the exact same place I am now, minus the Shikamaru part.

I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the moment. Shikamaru and I weren't really like one of those couples that can't keep their hands off each other. So when he does hold me like this, its one of the best things in the world.

Then I heard the door knob to Shikamaru's room turning, and I knew right away that someone was coming in. I tried to sit up but Shikamaru's arm tightened around my waist. He pulled his covers out from under me and wrapped them around me, covering my head. "Don't move." He whispered.

I obliged and held onto him as tightly as I could. The person opened the door to Shikamaru's room and took a few steps in, "Morning son."

"Morning Dad," Shikamaru said lazily. We were so close that I felt the vibrations of his voice in his chest. I take back that comment about stupid ninjas needing to be fit. Right now I'm rather enjoying that quality of Shikamaru.

I wasn't sure how noticeable it was that Shikamaru wasn't the only one in his bed. Even if I was as close to him as I possibly could, I don't think Shikaku-san would believe that Shikamaru gained a hundred pounds over night.

Then Shikaku-san spoke up again and answered my question, "Morning Yuri-chan."

I tensed up and buried my face into Shikamaru's chest."Morning…" I whispered, still under the covers. Guess Shikamaru is going to get his wish and we'll need to think of something new…

"So I was thinking maybe we could do some training today," Shikaku-san continued his conversation with Shikamaru.

"Sure." Shikamaru shrugged, his arms relaxing a little.

Does Shikaku-san not agree with Yoshino-san about separating Shikamaru and I? Usually he just follows her obediently, but it didn't look like he was going to throw me out Shikamaru's room. I sighed and closed my eyes; looks like we were safe for now.

"Be at the front door in twenty minutes then." Shikamaru's father finished and I heard the door shut.

Shikamaru sighed and let go of me with his left arm, letting him rolling onto his back; his other arm still holding onto me. As I rested my head on his chest, I started to get very drowsy. I couldn't help it; I was so tired and I was in the one place where I could sleep peacefully. Not mention I was already in bed.

Then I felt the covers lower off the top of my head, "Heh, and you told me no sleeping." Shikamaru commented just before I fell into my slumber.

* * *

The next morning Shikamaru had to leave early for a mission. So I was sitting at my desk doing some research while I waited for him to come and visit me.

I was beginning to get sick of being inside so much, so I decided to slowly go back to sleeping at night by stealing some of Shikamaru's clothes and sleeping with it. I know, sounds sort of weird but it's working surprisingly. For now I still slept in Shikamaru's room for the few hours I could, and any extra sleep I could get at night was a plus.

I sighed and started to play with the ribbon that I had tied around my neck. I had to admit, Ino and Sakura were sort of right. I was embarrassed about the cut on my neck; it just draws too much attention to me.

Then my door opened and Shikamaru came in, all ready to go in his ninja gear. I couldn't help myself; I ran to him and hugged him tightly. "Sheesh. Be careful I've got some dangerous stuff on me." He told me and pushed me back a little.

I looked over his ninja gear and realized that he was right. He has knives, explosive tags, and God knows what else on him. The fact that he had to carry that kind of stuff around for his job worried me a little. "Alright, alright," I walked back to my desk, sitting down and going back to my research.

Shikamaru followed me as I went to my desk and looked over my shoulder to see what I was working on. "You wouldn't think that this many plants and flowers exist, and yet you always find some new one to research…" He commented as he casually placed his hand on top of mine. "What's this one called?"

It took me a second to register the question after he touched me. "Huh? Oh, it's the Tacca chantrieri; the Bat Flower. I thought it looked interesting, although it is mostly used for show. It doesn't really seem to have any medical uses." I told him, trying not to concentrate on our hands.

My boyfriend was silent for a moment as he read the page in the book about the plant. "Shikamaru… Did your Dad say anything about how I was in your room yesterday?" I asked him as I took my other hand and started to trace patterns on his.

"No. He just asked me how you were doing since the accident. That's about it." He stood up straight and yawned; his hand leaving mine. "The whole time he was showing me a new jutsu, so we didn't really talk about anything else."

I turned around in my chair to face him, "Oh… So he's not mad that we're seeing each other?"

Shikamaru rolled his eyes and shook his head. "He encourages it."

"Your Dad? The one who does everything your mom says?"

"I know, it's weird."

"Weird…"

My love looked at me and sighed, "I should go." He said starting to walk towards the door.

I got out of my chair and followed him to the door, a little upset that he had to go so quickly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow…" I mumbled, completely dejected. I wanted to hug him again but decided against it because he would probably push me off again.

Shikamaru stood there for a second unsure; it looked like he was debating something. I looked up to him so our eyes would meet and he smiled slightly as I yawned. Then he leaned down and lightly kissed me on the cheek. My face flushed as he turned around and waved, "See you later."

Speechless, I watched him walk down the hall and turn the corner to the stairs. I bet you anything that he kissed me on the cheek just so I wouldn't give him grief about how little I see him. I sighed and shook my head; it had worked.

I walked over to his room, sluggishly making my way to Shikamaru's bed. I stopped right in front of his bed and looked down curiously. The bed had been made and a note sat on top of it. This seemed really out of character for Shikamaru… He never made the bed now, his excuse being "Why would I make the bed if you're just going to mess it up after I leave?"

I picked up the note and sat down onto the bed. I opened the piece of paper and read its contents:

_I got you a flower; it reminded me of the one I got you a while ago so I thought you'd like it. _

_Get some rest. I want you to come meet me at the Korean Barbeque around 6pm._

A grin slowly formed on my face as I read through the note and realized why he said '_See you later'_ just now. I looked over to his nightstand and saw a flower already in a vase. The bases of the flower's petals were dark blue and faded to white as it reached the edges. I had a hard time containing my excitement as I held his note to my chest and almost squealed.

We were actually going to see each other outside of the house for more than two hours!

I got into his bed and sighed happily, today was going to be a good day.

* * *

I left the house around 4:30pm to go to the hospital. Today was not only going to be a good day because I can see Shikamaru, but also because today I get my stitches out. Meaning that from today on, no one needs to get close to my neck _ever_.

When I arrived at the hospital I tightly held onto my bag, telling the nurse at the desk I was here to get my stitches removed. I waited in the waiting room for about five minutes and I was beginning to freak out. The room I was in didn't remotely look like it was in a hospital at all; it looked more like a lounge. But… Being in the place where my mother died… I can't stand it.

"Yuri," I jumped when I heard someone say my name.

I looked up and saw Sakura with a big smile plastered on her face. I frowned when I saw her smile, how she could be happy in a place like this made no sense. I stood up and walked over to her, "I see you're wearing the ribbon that I picked out!" She commented as she started to lead me to a private room in the hospital.

That's why she's smiling. Go figure. As we walked I noticed that Sakura seemed really excited for something, like the hospital wasn't where she wanted to be. "Are you planning on going somewhere?" I asked her, curious about her behavior (and trying to get my mind off the fact that I was in the hospital).

Sakura's cherry hair shook slightly as she nodded, "Yep! After we get those stitches out of you I'm going to head over there." She was bursting with enthusiasm.

We got to the private room and I sat on the empty bed closest to the door. "Where are you going?" I inquired as I gripped the handles of my bag, trying to relax.

Sakura started to pull out some medical equipment from a cabinet as she replied, "I'm going to a party." I think she tried to downplay her excitement, but failed miserably.

I started to take off the ribbon and the bandages I had underneath. "Why are you removing my stitches? Shouldn't a doctor being doing it or something?" I questioned her. It didn't make any sense why Sakura of all people would be doing this. Sure she was a medic-nin, but she wasn't a doctor.

Sakura stopped what she was doing and looked at me, "Tsunade asked me too. She's been really worried about you." Then she picked up a pair of scissors, "Ready?"

I looked at her for a second, Sakura was shaking from either excitement or nervousness, I couldn't tell. And I was shaking from pure fear out of being in the one place I hated the most. This could potentially go very, very wrong.

I nodded to her and looked to the ceiling so Sakura could get a clear view of my neck. Clear view of my neck… Oh my, this is just asking for something bad to happen.

The kunoichi then slowly lifted her hand to my neck, a little hesitant. "It's ok." I told her as she warily cut the first stitch.

Neither of us spoke as she removed my stitches. We were both worried that I was going to randomly throw a fit. Although in my defense, the last time that I freaked out was when Shikamaru forgot his wallet and ambushed me in my room two weeks ago.

It's surprising how quickly I seemed to recover after Shikamaru and I got back together. The only thing that was really bothering me was the nightmares. Otherwise, everything else was slowly becoming bearable.

Once Sakura finished taking out the stitches, she placed new bandages around my neck and let out a big sigh of relief. I laughed slightly as I tied the ribbon on top of the bandages, "Really Sakura, it's ok. I've been doing better lately." I assured her.

She smiled and nodded, "I believe you." She started to clean the scissors she used to cut the stitches off, "It's hard to believe that Shikamaru can make that much of a difference."

I blushed slightly and nodded, "Yeah… He's helped me a lot."

It was the truth. He was probably sick of helping me by now. He hates waking up early and when he does, he has to deal with me being all broken and needy. I didn't think he would put with all of this but… he keeps waking up early, and he keeps comforting me when I need it. I'm very grateful for that.

After that Sakura left to go to that party she was so eager to go to, and I still had a little time before I had to meet Shikamaru. So I decided to go to the bookstore to see if they had anything interesting to read. Perhaps reading some fiction would get my mind off the nightmares; I tend to get too caught up in stories sometimes.

On my way there I was reading over the note from Shikamaru and analyzing his handwriting. It wasn't the greatest in the world, but I liked it; you could tell everything about his personality from it.

Then I looked up to see how much farther the bookstore was and I noticed the object of my affection. Shikamaru was slowly walking home looking **very, very** wet. It looked like he had jumped into a river or something. But even though he was soaking wet, I couldn't help but smile.

I quickened my pace and when I was a few feet behind him I tried to get his attention, "Shikamaru?"

He stopped and turned around, looking very surprised to see me. Then something happened that I rarely ever see; Shikamaru's face got slightly red as he tried to flick some of the water droplets off his clothes. "What happened?" I asked him then started to look through my bag for something to wipe the water off his face.

It took him a second to respond, "I was sort of… pushed into a river."

I had found a cloth napkin in my bag, but as soon as Shikamaru finished his sentence the only thing I could concentrate on was trying to not burst out into laughter. I covered my mouth, but it didn't seem to do anything. Shikamaru sighed and turned around, continuing his walk home. "W-wait!" I yelled as I caught up to him, grabbing his arm.

He reluctantly stopped walking and turned to face me. I reached into my bag again and pulled out the cloth napkin, holding it up. When he took the cloth napkin from me I continued to laugh.

"I'm glad this amuses you." Shikamaru said sarcastically as he wiped his face and neck dry.

I smiled as he gave the wet napkin to me, "Thank you for the flower, its lovely." I tried to change the topic.

His mouth twitched up a little at the side into a small smile, "No problem." He placed a hand into his wet pocket and looked around for a second before continuing, "I got to head home and change before going to the restaurant. I'll meet you there I guess?"

"Why can't I just –" I was going to say 'go home with you' but then I realized that his mom would be there and us being together wouldn't go over well. "Oh... Never mind, I guess I'll see you there."

He nodded, "See you then."

* * *

When I entered the Korean Barbeque a little after six I was greeted by an anxious looking Ino. "Yuri! There you are! Come on, you're ten minutes late!" She pulled me by the arm into the restaurant.

"Ino, what's the hurry?" I asked her as she hurried me towards one of the private rooms in the restaurant. I thought it was just going to be Shikamaru and I…

Then when Ino opened the door to the private room I suddenly realized what going on. I began to blush like crazy as everyone in the room shouted, "Surprise!" Well, everyone except for Shikamaru who seemed to be annoyed at the yelling.

They were throwing me a _very_ delayed birthday party.

Sitting around the many tables in the room was basically every chunnin I had ever come in contact with. "We originally wanted to do this when you got back from Suna with just a few of us. But then the accident happened, and next thing you know everyone is a party crasher." Ino sighed as she ushered me to our table.

I took my seat next to Shikamaru and noticed that there already was some barbeque on the grill, "You guys started to eat already?" I adjusted myself so I could sit a little closer to Shikamaru.

"_Choji _started to eat already." Ino corrected me as she shot him a glare. "I told him to wait for you, but he said since you were late it couldn't be helped."

I laughed, "It's okay Ino, I don't mind." I told her as I grabbed my chopsticks and placed one piece of the barbeque on my plate.

This wasn't exactly the dinner that I had in mind, but it was still a wonderful gesture. It makes me very happy knowing that I have friends that care so much for me; I am truly blessed.

Not too long into dinner as everyone was enjoying the food, Ino spoke up, "Sooooo you never answered my question. Are you and Shikamaru a couple now or what?" Last time Ino asked this I was able to avoid the question since we were attacked.

Everyone who had heard Ino's question stopped talking to hear the answer. Why did she have to ask now of all times? Couldn't she ask me the next time I visited the flower shop… The only thing I wanted to do right now was bury my face into Shikamaru's chest and hide from the world. (It seems like that's what I always want to do now when I'm embarrassed.)

I turned to Shikamaru for an answer. We were technically seeing each other behind his Mother's and my Father's back, so I didn't know if he wanted to publicize that. Shikamaru shrugged and both Ino and Sakura squealed in excitement, "You two **are** dating!" Then everyone else in the room either squealed or hollered.

I hid my face in my hands; this is **so** embarrassing. Leave it to Sakura and Ino to know when Shikamaru shrugged it meant yes. Gahhh…

* * *

After dinner the sun was just setting as Shikamaru and I slowly made our way home. Well, in about two weeks the Nara's will no longer be my home. My uncle; my mom's brother, was coming down from the Water country to come stay with me. Then it will become even harder for me to sleep, and for Shikamaru and I to see each other.

My eyebrows furrowed. So many things getting in the way...

"What's with the angry face?" Shikamaru asked curiously.

"Just thinking about how hard it'll be for us to see each other when my Uncle gets here." I looked up to the sky; the colours of twilight were very soothing.

Shikamaru yawned, "What's your uncle like anyways?"

I rolled my eyes; Shikamaru completely ignored my worries about us seeing each other. He probably doesn't want to think ahead that far. "Well, he can be serious when he needs to be, but usually he just jokes around. After my mom died he tries not to take everything so seriously."

"Does he like your dad?"

I shook my head, "He hates how my dad made my mom move out here to Kohona instead of him moving out to the Mist." It was sort of awkward whenever my Uncle and my Dad were in the same room together, they never got along.

"So wouldn't that suggest that your Uncle wouldn't listen to what your Dad wants?"

Shikamaru was asking a lot of questions. I nodded, "Most likely."

"Then we have nothing to worry about."

I blinked for a second before realizing Shikamaru's conclusion. I smiled, "I guess."

So I guess for now our only problem is getting past Yoshino-san. Speaking of which, "How are we going to arrive separately to your house if we're walking together?"

"My mom thinks I went to bed after I changed into dry clothes."

"You snuck out to go to the party?"

Shikamaru shrugged.

I laughed, "You're such a rebel."


	13. Rainy Days

**Rainy Days**

It's been 34 days since the accident, and I seemed to be getting better. The nightmares are starting to fade a little as the red is not as vivid as it used to be. But I don't think my attacker's face will ever go away, that's one face I will never forget.

Oh and my uncle will arrive in Kohona tonight making today my last day at the Nara's. Most of my stuff is already packed so my room is sort of a mess right now. I somehow managed to accumulate three more boxes of stuff while I was here. How I'm going to fit all of it into my small room at my house is an enigma.

"Shikamaruuuuuuu," I whined as I shook his shoulder heavily. He had gotten home pretty late from a mission last night, so I knew my chances of getting him to wake up were slim.

He continued to lie there like dead weight, his eyes were shut and his hair was a mess. He was still dressed in his ninja attire, minus the vest and pouches. I guess he just fell asleep as soon as he hit the bed last night.

I got onto his bed and grabbed both his shoulders, shaking him more vigorously. After about two minutes of shaking his body was still limp. I sighed and got off the bed, falling to the floor. I was defeated yet again by Shikamaru's ability to sleep through anything and everything.

Then I heard him yawn as he sat up in bed and stretched. I turned around, "Oh so you wake up _now_." I commented sarcastically as I got up and sat beside him.

"What time is it?" Shikamaru groaned as he looked over to his clock.

"It's 7am just about. So what are we going to do today?" I questioned him as he lied back down in his bed.

"I am going to sleep. I don't know what you're going to do." He was always very cranky in the mornings. In the first five to ten minutes of waking up he would always try to get me to go away so he can sleep. Then after that he didn't seem to mind that it was it 7am anymore.

I poked him right in between the eyes to catch his attention; his eyes opened and he glared at me. "Come on, it's my last day here. Who knows how much time we'll get spend together after today."

He sighed as I leaned over his face, "Please?" I decided to ask him nicely.

Shikamaru debated it for a second before responding, "Fine. But as soon as you're gone I'm not waking up this early anymore. There's no point."

I smiled, "Deal." But then I heard something. _Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat. Pit. Pat. _I frowned and kneeled on Shikamaru's bed to look out the window. "It's raining."

My boyfriend kneeled beside me and looked outside, "It's not that bad. We could still go out if you want," he placed his hand on my back as he said this. I started to lose concentration on the rain as I paid more attention to his fingers.

"A cold is the last thing I need right now." I sighed and let out a weak breath; I still concentrating on his hand. "I guess you should just go back to sleep." I turned around and put my back onto the wall by his bed.

Shikamaru then held out his hand in front of me. I blinked and looked at him in confusion. "Care to join me?"

I laughed and took his hand. We got settled into his bed and enjoyed a nice long nap.

* * *

At some point in the afternoon I decided to read the book I bought last week after I saw Shikamaru completely soaked. It seemed interesting enough; it was a romance story about a girl and a guy who hate each other so much it eventually turns into an obsessive love.

The book was sitting on my nightstand with about five boxes in the way. I narrowed my eyes and thought about whether it was worth lifting the boxes. It was still raining outside, so going out instead was out of the question. Everything else in my room is packed up, so the book is my only means of entertainment. Well, unless I feel like unpacking some of my stuff but that requires more effort than moving some boxes.

I guess I'll just move the boxes.

I stood up and started to move the boxes out of the way. When I got to the heaviest one I groaned as I tried to move it and I tripped on a roll of tape. Both the box and I fell to the ground as I scraped my arm on the corner of another box. I sighed and looked up to the nightstand; the vibrations from the fall caused the book and the flower vase that Shikamaru got me last week to fall to the ground.

"Great." I thought out loud as the water from the vase spread; the shattered pieces of it scattered around the floor.

The first thing I picked up was the flower and I placed it on top of a box for safety, there was no way I was going to let it get ruined. Then I started to pick up the pieces of the vase and place them onto the nightstand. But as I picked up one of the smaller pieces, I didn't realize how sharp it was, and it sliced my hand.

I winced and dropped the piece, holding onto my hand with the other. I let go and looked at the damage.

Oh how I wish I could take that last thing back now.

My heart started racing as I watched the blood ooze out of my hand and onto the floor. I must have hit a vein because there was so much blood. The nightmare then started to flash in my head. I screamed. It felt like my hand, my arm and my neck were on fire. And the blood… it was everywhere.

I shut my eyes tightly and placed my hands on my head, trying to get the images out. The door to my room slammed open and the pieces of the vase that lied in front of me were pushed aside as the person kneeled down. I was still screaming; at this point the images in my head had my captor appearing from inside the never ending redness.

"Yuri! Calm down!" I heard the person yell. They pulled my hands off of my head and grabbed my chin with one hand, lifting it so I would look at them.

When I opened my eyes all I could see was my attacker. I tried to move back, to free myself from him before he uttered those horrible words. Then my attacker grabbed onto my waist, preventing me from moving. I tried to push him away with my bloodied hands but I just couldn't get away.

I kept shouting "No, no, no, no no!" as I tried to get away from my attacker. In my nightmare I couldn't feel the pain; I couldn't really feel my attacker as he forced me to look at him. But now it was too real, I couldn't take this torture.

Then when my captor was about to utter those five words I screamed even louder, "Calm down already! It's just me! Shikamaru!"

When I heard Shikamaru's name it was like a switch went off.

The fire on my neck, hand and my arm slowly began to settle. The redness all around me started to fade and slowly turn back into my room. When my captor dissolved into Shikamaru, I stopped trying to push him away.

"Shikamaru?" I was barely able to get out, my voice was so sore from all the screaming.

He sighed and nodded. My tears burned as they came out; I embraced Shikamaru and hid my face in his chest as I sobbed. Just when I thought I was getting better, when I could stop worrying about the nightmares… This happens.

I didn't want to close my eyes because if I did I knew I would only see his face. "Yuri, it's ok." Shikamaru tried to calm me. Even though the delusion were gone my heart was too fast, and my breath was too rapid.

After a few minutes of freaking out I began to get tired. I had put so much energy into trying to get away from my attacker that I felt _so _drained. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore and I saw the one person that I never wanted to see again. I don't even know who he is, and yet my attacker has affected me so deeply. I tensed up in Shikamaru's arms as I tried to make the image of the attacker go away.

Shikamaru took in a deep breath, "Can I see your hand?" His question seemed a little… unsure. I guess he wasn't sure if I had calmed down enough yet.

I pulled away from him and showed him my hand. My throat hurt too much from the yelling to respond to him. "There's too much blood…" He stood up, pulling me with him, "we need to clean it and wrap it up." Shikamaru told me as he held me by the wrist, grabbing some of the bandages on my desk on the way out.

He then led me to the washroom where he put my hand under the sink and turned on the warm water. I winced a little when the water hit my cut, but I didn't dare to look at it out of the fear of having more delusions. So I looked over to Shikamaru, and I definitely didn't like what I saw. His arms were covered in streaks of blood, and he had red hand prints on the front of his shirt from when I was pushing him.

The water stopped and I felt the bandages being wrapped around my hand. "You're going to need stitches." Shikamaru told me as he tied up the end of the bandage.

"What? I just my other stitches out a week ago. I'm sure the cut will heal fine on its own." That sort of really hurt my throat. It was more of a rough scraping though, as opposed to the burning that I had when I talked a few weeks ago.

"It's just going to keep bleeding if you don't get it fixed. We should go to the hospital before you start to feel dizzy from blood loss."

I tensed up at the word hospital. Wait a second… Did he say we? He was going to come with me? "We'll need to change first…" I whispered.

I expected Shikamaru to go and get changed but he stood in front of me, not moving. I looked up to him to see why he was delayed and he sighed, "Are you alright?"

I nodded, "I' m fine."

He didn't seem convinced. "Yuri, you were screaming." I wonder how it must've looked when he came into the room. It couldn't have been good judging by the way he's looking at me now.

"And I'm not now." I tried to emphasize on the _now_, I was fine _now_. I was not fine about ten minutes ago.

My boyfriend looked down to my arm and sighed again. "How did you cut your arm?" He wet a towel with some water and started to clean the blood off my arm.

"I fell into a box." I only realized how ridiculous that sounded after I said it.

Shikamaru shook his head and wrapped some bandages around my arm, tying the ends of the bandage together. He then turned the sink, turning on the tap. I watched him as he washed the blood off his arm. "Did you cut yourself?" I noticed in his hands were full with little cuts bleeding even after he washed the blood away.

"I pushed all the vase pieces away without thinking. I'll be fine, just go change so we can go." He replied a little coldly; I guess he's upset.

I nodded and headed back to my room. I paused right outside the door as I thought of the blood that was probably pooled on my floor. I held up my left hand and blocked my peripheral vision out of my left eye, just concentrating on the box that I knew had my clothes in it. Once I got to the box, I pulled out fresh clothes and changed. Today is not going to be a good day.

After I was done changing I waited for Shikamaru by the front door. I looked at the bandages that were wrapped around my hand; they were already starting to bleed red. I guess Shikamaru wasn't exaggerating about the blood loss.

Once Shikamaru had finished changing we then proceeded to the hospital in silence. We could only find one umbrella so we both stood under it. I thought about reaching out and holding his hand, but the atmosphere was tense and holding hands would have probably just made things worse.

I don't get it. It's obvious that Shikamaru doesn't want to be here, so why did he say he would come? I know if I went by myself it probably wouldn't have turned out so well, but I know that I could have done it. Why is he, of all people, the one that has to deal with me and my issues all the time?

I stopped walking; the rain immediately soaked my clothes as the umbrella moved away. Shikamaru stopped and looked back at me. He didn't say anything though; he just sort of waited for me to respond.

I took in a shallow breath; I could feel the nerves building up in my chest and my stomach. "Why are you coming with me when it's obvious that you don't want to?" I asked him, throat still killing me from before.

He turned and walked back to me, lifting the umbrella slightly so we would both be protected from the rainfall. "There's no way you could go by yourself and come out in one piece." Shikamaru was brief and to the point. He knew what I knew; I already had enough traumas for one day, anymore and I would break.

"So you don't want to go right?" He neglected to answer my question.

Shikamaru hesitated for a moment. The hesitation said it all; I was right. I didn't let him respond, "If you don't want to go, then don't. Just be honest with me. I don't want your pity."

"Yuri, I don't—"

"Oh come on Shikamaru. Why else would you be coming with me if you don't want to?" I knew I was instigating a fight, but I had to know for sure if what he does is out of pity or if he actually cares. Everything he does now seems so unlike him, I don't get it.

He was quiet now, probably waiting for me to finish. I shook my head, "I can do this myself. Why don't you just go back to sleep or something? I don't need you." I told him and walked past him towards the direction of the hospital, the cold rain hitting me from every angle.

And then I walked. In the rain. To the hospital. With no umbrella.

Maybe I should have thought this through before taking off. I especially should have thought through what talking to Shikamaru like that was going to do to my throat. Not only that, but because the rain was so cold, my hand and my arm seemed to be burning from the blood that was still leaking out of me. This is so uncomfortable…

And even though I was cold, burning and freaking out, the worst part is that Shikamaru didn't follow after me. He was going to let me go to the hospital by myself _knowing_ what could happen. I felt the hole itching to return. Urgh…

When I got to the hospital I stopped right before I had to take my first step onto the property. I looked at the ground in front of me and compared it to the ground beside me. The hospital ground _seemed_ normal enough, I mean, physically it looked the exact same. But the thought of actually stepping on the hospital ground scared me a lot more than stepping to the side did.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

I need to get through this. I don't want Shikamaru to pity me; even if he doesn't pity me, I don't want him thinking that he might. I'm pretty sure that was why he was so hesitant before, he wasn't sure himself of how he felt. And you know, considering how Shikamaru is supposed to be a genius and all, he can be _so_ indecisive.

I took in a deep breath and tried to think about all the positive things that the hospital can offer me right now. It can offer me a warm, dry place away from the rain. It can stitch up my hand so the burning feeling will go away. It can offer me another panic attack which will most likely make them hospitalize me. It can offer me horrible stress, an elevated heartbeat, and worst of all, a reminder of my mother's death.

I sighed. It seems like there are more negatives than positives in this situation. But even if there are negatives, I need to get over my fear; if not for my sake than for Shikamaru's. I love him, and I don't want to burden him with my brokenness anymore than I already have. Especially if starting tomorrow I have to start dealing with my issues on my own, without his help.

I looked at the ground again, and then shut my eyes tightly as I took that one step forward. Then I took another. And then another. I kept walking until I reached the door of the building. I opened the door and took my first willing step into a hospital ever.

My heartbeat seemed to be going twice as fast now and I felt each excruciating beat perfectly in my chest. My whole stomach all the way up to my throat felt like it was going to close as I made my way to the receptionist. When I got to the desk I didn't say anything; I **couldn't** say anything. So I just lifted my hand and showed her the damage.

Ironically, it was the same nurse from the first time I had woken up since the accident. When she looked up at me I saw a little fear in her eyes as she realized who I was. Then she looked down to my hand and nodded. "Go sit down, I'll get someone to help you right away." She seems like a relatively nice person now that I think about it.

I spent the next 10 minutes trying to ignore the relentlessness of my heart. Each beat was _so_ distinct as it rang through my body; I just wanted my heart to stop beating so I didn't have to feel this agony anymore. At some point someone came up to me and asked me if I wanted a towel so I could dry off. I ignored them; the only thing that I could concentrate on was trying to not go crazy from the metronome in my chest.

One. Two. One. Two. One. Two. One. Two. One. Two. One. Two.

Over and over. Diastole. Systole. Diastole. Systole. Blood goes in. Blood goes out.

I think I'm very nearly approaching a meltdown now.

Then I heard my name called and I was somehow pulled out of the trance. I stood up and followed the person who had called me to a private room. I sat down and let them take my blood pressure. After they finished they looked at me oddly for a second then walked out of the room.

I slowly took in a deep breath and released it. The room was a little cold, so I slowly began to become more conscious of how wet and how cold I was. It was sort of nice because I started to concentrate more on how cold I was, as opposed to the never ending heart beating.

Eventually someone came into my room and stitched up my hand. I watched as the needle went in and out of my hand without any pain. It felt weird because I could feel something was going into my hand, but the expected pain never came thanks to some Novocain.

Then an hour after I entered the building, I came out hand stitched and in one solid piece. When I stepped off the hospital's property I took in a deep breath and sighed. I had gone into the hospital without freaking out. Well ok, without causing a scene. But I had actually made it through an emergency hospital visit by myself.

I wanted to jump up in joy at the fact that I was progressing, but then my mind immediately turned back to Shikamaru. I sort of regret yelling at him, but at the same time something needed to be said.

The rain seemed to have stopped for a bit, so I figured I could use this opportunity to move some of the boxes from the Nara's to my house. My stomach churned as I thought that Shikamaru might be in his room. Would he want to talk to me about what happened? Or would he just let me move out without a word?

I slowly made my way to the Nara's everything dripping wet, and I realized that I looked sort of like Shikamaru did the day of my party. Oh the irony.

Once I got the Nara's I immediately saw the umbrella sitting on the floor beside the door. Shikamaru was here. I tried to take in deep breaths as I made my way up to my room quietly. I opened the door and looked around; the pieces of the vase had been picked up, and the blood had been cleaned. Did Shikamaru clean up? I didn't see Yoshino-san anywhere.

I lifted some of the boxes, looking for the lightest one I could find. I knew that I couldn't carry all of them with my hand cut up, and that I would probably need some help later on. But I needed to do something; I didn't want to sit around and just wait for my uncle to show up. And I certainly wasn't going to sit here while Shikamaru was somewhere in this house.

When I started to go down the stairs, I managed to slip on the second step because my socks were wet. I fell down all the way to the bottom of the stairs. After my body stopped moving I laid there for a minute letting the sharp pain in places dull. Then I sat up and looked at the damage created by the fall. The box had gotten a few dents in it, and the fresh bandages on my hand were red; it looked like the stitches had broken.

Then I started to cry.

I was soaking wet, freezing cold, bruised and battered, my hand was bleeding yet again and the worst part is I had a fight with the person I love. Today was just a bad day for me. A really, really bad day.

"Yuri? Are you alright?" I heard Shikamaru's voice come from my left. I guess he was in the backyard when he heard me fall down the stairs.

"No!" I screamed, "I am not alright!"

I was tired of crying. I was tired of holding my feelings back. All I wanted to do was just tell Shikamaru everything. And so I did. "Do you know how hard I've tried to be alright? No matter what I do, I always end up crying and broken. It's not fair!" My voice cracked when I said _broken_.

Shikamaru then kneeled in front of me and put his hands on my arms, we both looked each other in the eyes as I continued. "I even went to the hospital and I got my hand stitched," I ripped the bandages off and showed him the broken stitches, "but I can't even do that right because now I have to go back and have them ask me if I'm alright over and over again."

He looked down to my hand, his expression was unreadable. I didn't know if he cared for me at all, or if everything he's done for me was out of pity. But that didn't stop me from saying what I said next, "I love you, so much. And all I want is for us to go back to normal, but everything seems to just get in the way! And no matter how hard I try I can't seem to stop needing you and your support. I just don't feel like I can stand on my own anymore."

More and more tears came out as Shikamaru pulled me into his arms and took in a deep breath. He was very warm, but then again he might have just been warm because I was freezing cold from being outside in the rain for so long.

"Sheesh, you're so cold." Shikamaru whispered as he rubbed my back to warm me up. "I'm sorry I didn't go with you to the hospital. When you said you didn't need me that sort of threw me off."

"W-why?" I questioned him; it felt like I was beginning to lose my voice.

Shikamaru's grasp on me tightened slightly, "Because I… I need you. Even if you're being annoying, or clingy, or broken, or just plain traumatized, it doesn't matter. I just need you. And when you said you didn't need me, it bothered me. A lot."

I seem to keep forgetting that this isn't an unrequited love I feel. Shikamaru has feelings for me too, and when he said he needed me I knew right away what he was going to say next.

"I don't pity you Yuri. I love you."

It's weird how a day that was so horrible can become one the best days of your life in less than five seconds.

He sighed as I lifted my head to be level with his, "It sounded like you were going to have a heart attack just now." When he was about to say I love you his heart started to beat twice as fast as before.

Shikamaru let out a chuckle as I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. He met me half way and we shared a short and sweet kiss.

* * *

So after we kissed I had gotten into some dry clothes and Shikamaru and I headed to the hospital for the second time today. This time we held hands under the umbrella; the rain had come back for yet another visit.

"Shikamaru," I tried to get his attention. He looked down towards me and I continued, "Did you clean up the blood from my room?" I had to stop calling it my room. Starting tomorrow it goes back to be the Nara's guest room.

He shook his head, "My mom cleaned it."

"Your mom?"

"Yeah. Turns out my dad wasn't the only one who knew that we were seeing each other. She helped me to realize how I felt."

I stopped walking, stopping Shikamaru along with me. "So you thought that you pitied me at first?"

Shikamaru looked at me for a second before he responded."Yeah… I did." I could tell he regretted saying that as soon as the words left his mouth.

My eyebrows furrowed and I let go of hand to hit him in the arm, "Baka. How could you mistake love for pity?"

He looked away, "I don't know. Can we just go already?" Shikamaru put his hand on the small of my back and pushed me forward gently. He was completely unfazed by my punch.

I sighed, "Sometimes you can be so troublesome." I noted as I grabbed onto his hand again.

Shikamaru let out a sigh of relief; glad that I moved on. "Look who's talking."


	14. Like Mother, Like Daughter

**Like Mother, Like Daughter**

I looked down at the floor as I took a light step forward; hoping that it wouldn't make any noise as I walked passed the kitchen. I was sneaking out of my house; trying to get away from my Uncle. When he finally showed up, he didn't immediately forbid Shikamaru and me to see each other like my father told him to. What he decided to do was _much, much worse_.

I took another step followed by a slight creaking noise in the floor boards. I cringed as I knew what was coming, "Yu-chan! Are you going to see Shikamaru-kun?" My Uncle Ryu called out from the kitchen.

I sighed in defeat and stood still, "Hai." I mumbled under my breath.

"Give me two minutes and I'll be ready to go." Ryu yelled as he tried to finish up his breakfast quickly. After ten minutes, not two, my uncle came out of the kitchen and appeared in front of me. "Let's go Yu-chan." He told me as he ruffled my hair with his hand.

My uncle was pretty tall, probably around 6ft. The difference in height between the two of us was considerable as I only stood around 5ft 2". He had a slim build like most ninjas; physically fit, etc. The only real feature we had in common was our eyes. He has the same blue eyes that my mother had, and the same blue eyes that I have.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to fix the mess that he made. My hair was getting long again; I should keep better care of it this time. My Uncle and I stepped out the door to the house and over to where I was supposed to meet Shikamaru.

Thinking I would be grateful, my uncle decided to chaperon us whenever we met. Yes. You read right.

Chaperon.

Needless to say, I was anything but grateful. I don't really know what's worse, being forbidden from seeing Shikamaru, or being able to see him chaperoned.

As I walked up the stairs to the oh-so-familiar bench I felt my face begin to get hot. I failed in my mission to get out of the house by myself and I'm sure Shikamaru will make me regret it.

When the bench was in view I saw Shikamaru reading something. He was sitting up, hunched over slightly as he looked down to the pages in the book. He was in casual clothes today which meant he didn't have a mission.

"Shikamaru-kun! How are you doing this morning?" Ryu called out from behind me as I sat beside Shikamaru and waited for the glare.

My boyfriend groaned after he heard my uncle and turned to me, "Why didn't you just climb out the window like I told you to?"

"I'm not a ninja, if I climb out a second story window I will fall and die." I pouted as I felt Shikamaru's glare on me. I didn't blame him for glaring; if I were him I would be doing the exact same thing.

"Did you at least try?"

"No."

"So how do you know you would have died?"

At that point my uncle came and sat in between us, putting his arms around our shoulders. "No bickering you two! A young couple in love shouldn't be arguing over such a silly thing about falling out of windows." He grinned.

Shikamaru sighed and shrugged out of my uncle's arm and lied back on to the bench. "Whatever." The Nara grabbed the book he was reading and continued what he was doing before.

I looked at the cover of the book and smiled, leaning down onto my stomach and propping myself up with my arms. "You're reading my dad's book?"

Shikamaru nodded and turned the page, "Chuunin exams are being held in Suna this time. I figured I'd get some research in before I go next week."

"Next week? How long will you be gone?" After I asked that I felt my heart beat pick up. Not being in the same house as Shikamaru anymore was hard enough to deal with right now. To have him completely gone is another matter.

"About four weeks. Most of it is just preparation though." Shikamaru turned the page again to the page where the Phresdena was located.

I sighed and wrapped my arms around Shikamaru, placing my head on his chest. Most of the time I see him this early in the morning is so I can nap and get some sort of sleep. After the fiasco with the broken vase the nightmares started to come back more frequently.

"Wake me up in a few hours…" I mumbled to Shikamaru as I felt myself already starting to get drowsy.

After a few minutes I was still sort of drowsy, but not quite asleep. My uncle Ryu who was now sitting on the edge of the bench spoke up: "Shikamaru-kun, you know Yu-chan pretty well right?"

Shikamaru shifted slightly as he turned to face my uncle. "Yeah, I guess."

My uncle took in a deep breath, "Why are there no pictures of Kurai in her house aside from her father's bedroom?"

I squeezed Shikamaru a little when I heard my mother's name. Shikamaru seemed to notice as he responded, "You mean her mother?"

"Has she not ever talked to you about Kurai?" Ryu seemed genuinely surprised at this.

The Nara shook his head, "Whenever she's reminded of her mother, Yuri starts to panic." He sighed, "She saw her mother die in the hospital, which is why hospitals make her panic too."

I never told Shikamaru that I was there when my mother died. I don't really like to tell anyone that. Besides my father, the doctors and nurses, the third and now the fifth were the only ones who knew about it. People think my father made me quit the academy because of what happened to my mom but, in truth, I was too traumatized from my mother's death to continue.

Ryu paused for a moment before continuing, "Did she tell you she was there?"

"No. But it's not that hard to figure out. I know Yuri, and that's the only logical explanation as to why she quit the academy." I took in a deep breath as I felt myself drifting.

Shikamaru knows me too well…

* * *

Later in the evening I woke up in my room at my house. I stretched and yawned looking around for Shikamaru or Ryu. They usually didn't go far when I was napping just in case my nightmare got too intense. I know, I feel like a child, but I'm a work in progress.

I got out of bed and sluggishly went down the stairs to the main room. When I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw the two boys sitting on the floor playing some shogi. Surprisingly enough my uncle enjoys playing shogi, and I don't really think Shikamaru minds playing with him. I yawned and walked over to the pair sitting in at the side of the board, in between them.

"Morning Yu-chan! Did you have a nice sleep?" My uncle asked me as he lifted a piece and placed it one square ahead.

I nodded, "No nightmares this time." I pulled my legs up into me, wrapping my arms around my knees.

I looked down to the board to see who was winning. They weren't too far into this game, they were both pretty even.

"It's not morning, its 3pm." Shikamaru commented as he moved one of his knights, taking the piece that Ryu just moved.

"But to Yu-chan, it's like its morning." Ryu pouted as Shikamaru took another one of his pieces. Ryu was ok at shogi, but it seemed like Shikamaru was a lot better than he was.

Three moves later the sound of water boiling filled up the room. Ryu stood up in a flurry shouting, "My tea!" as he ran off to the kitchen. When he stood up though, he managed to flip the shogi board over, making all the pieces fall all over the floor.

Shikamaru and I sighed; this was typical Ryu. Shikamaru picked up the board and started to place the pieces in the centre of the board. As he did that I took the pieces and started to place them back into their original places. Once Shikamaru picked up all the pieces he looked down at the board to what I was doing.

"You remember where all the pieces were before he flipped the board?" The Nara asked inquisitively as I placed the last few pieces into their spots.

I nodded, "It's nothing special," I commented as I inched closer to Shikamaru. I just have a good memory.

Ryu came back into the room holding his cup of tea, completely unaware that he knocked the board over. I sighed and looked around the room; it felt so strange being back home. But as I was looking around something caught my eye; a picture had been placed on the mantle. It was a picture of my mom, me and my dad from around the time I was five.

I couldn't look away from it. I hadn't looked at a photo of my mother in years, so when I saw her in the photo I couldn't believe my eyes. She looks exactly like me; well actually, I look exactly like her. The only differences being her features are more mature and she was dressed in ninja attire.

Shikamaru was about to place a piece down on the board when he noticed where I was looking, "I told you she would notice it." He put the piece down and looked at me.

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should look away, if I should turn the picture so I couldn't see it, or just keep staring at it blankly. I felt Shikamaru's hand on top of my arm as he tried to get my attention but I didn't look away from the picture.

My heart started to race a little as I concentrated on my mom's features. Her sky blue eyes matched mine in the photo. I looked at her neck, it was clear of any scars or wounds. Then the wound in my neck started to become more and more obvious to me. I placed my hand up to cover my neck and my breathing sped up.

Shikamaru then let go of my arm and stood up. He walked over to the picture and flipped it around, hiding my mother's face from view. He then sat in front of me and gently removed my hand from my neck. "It's ok." He whispered to me with a sympathetic look.

I sighed and closed my eyes, concentrating on breathing in and out slowly. The entire time I did this I felt Ryu's eyes watching Shikamaru and I. This is why Ryu lets us still see each other; he knows that Shikamaru is the only one who can help to calm me down.

When Ryu showed up two weeks ago things weren't exactly as cheery as they are now. The day that Shikamaru and I professed our love I had gotten a fever from being out in the rain for so long. Shikamaru took me home and let me rest in my room while he brought the boxes from his house over. When he dropped off the last box, he said goodbye and started to leave.

A few seconds after Shikamaru left my room, I heard some noise, sort of like a loud 'THUNK'. So I started to go downstairs to investigate and I heard Shikamaru talking to someone. Turns out Ryu had spotted Shikamaru and attacked him, but at the time I didn't know that. Shikamaru was up against the wall at the bottom of the staircase, a throwing knife located in his hand.

A large wall covers most of the staircase so as I went down the stairs, only Shikamaru could see me. "Shikamaru what's wrong?" I questioned him as I went down the stairs. He turned his head when he heard me and when I reached the third last step I fumbled and fell forward.

As I fell I felt something pull at my hair slightly followed by a few more thuds. Shikamaru caught me and looked above me to where I was just standing. In the wall were three throwing knives that would have hit me if I didn't fall. Oh my.

"Yu-chan! Oh my god!" I heard Ryu shout from the other side of the room. He rushed over to Shikamaru and I, pushing him aside and holding me up himself. "Are you alright?"

I wriggled out of my uncle's arms and turned back to Shikamaru, "Don't go. I don't know if I can sleep tonight."

Shikamaru sighed and looked over to Ryu. Ryu's face was still shocked from when I ignored him, but he quickly regained his composure. "Shikamaru… As in the Nara Shikamaru I'm supposed to stop my dear Yu-chan from seeing?"

Shikamaru and I both nodded at the same time then waited for his response. Ryu looked down to my hand, then to my shoulder, and lastly to my neck. The room was then silent for a couple of minutes while my uncle thought this through.

As we were waiting for him to speak I felt a heat rush come on from the fever. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes, waiting for it to pass. Then next thing I know I'm on the floor in Shikamaru's arms; I had just fainted. I really got to stop doing that.

"I'm going to take her back to her room." I felt Shikamaru place a hand on my back and a hand behind my legs, and in one swift motion I was in his arms as he walked up the stairs.

Once he placed me back in my bed and put the covers back over me, he was about to leave my bedside when I reached out and grabbed his hand. My boyfriend squeezed my hand slightly and told me, "I'm going to get a wet cloth for your forehead. I'll be right back."

I rolled onto my side as I tried to listen to what Shikamaru and Ryu were talking about. It sounded like Shikamaru was explaining what happened today in my old room. When Shikamaru had come back with the wet cloth I rolled back onto my back and sighed when I felt the cold cloth on my head. It was really, really refreshing. Then I had fallen asleep from the exhaustion.

From what I understand what happened next was basically Ryu telling Shikamaru he could stay, but he wanted to keep an eye on us for a while. At the time he said that I don't think neither Shikamaru nor I thought that 'keep an eye on us' meant 'chaperoning every single meeting'.

Anyways, back to the situation at hand. I released a large sigh and opened my eyes. "I'm okay." I told Shikamaru with a slight smile. I had been getting better at calming myself down.

The corner of Ryu's mouth twitched slightly as he looked back down to the shogi board. He moved a piece and shouted, "Check!" Followed by some rambling about how he can't believe he checked Shikamaru.

Shikamaru turned back to the board, looked at it for a second and moved a piece. "Checkmate." He announced.

I laughed as Ryu fell over and started to complain. As much as I hate the chaperoning, my uncle still finds his moments. It's not _that_ bad, it could be worse.

After Shikamaru and Ryu had finished another game I had decided to go to the Yamanaka's to get myself a much needed flower. I hadn't gone to get one in a week so I figured I was over due. Shikamaru walked beside me, while Ryu walked behind us.

My uncle was oddly silent the whole walk. The only time he was silent like this was usually when he was contemplating something. "Hey you two, I'm going to go grab some supplies, so you guys head to the Yamanaka's alone. I'll see you at home when you're done." Ryu told us. By the time I looked back to make sure he was serious, he was gone.

I grinned as I turned to Shikamaru, "Finally!"

As soon as we stepped in the Yamanaka's, Ino spoke up: "Oh my god! No Ryu-sama today? Does that mean he finally trusts you guys alone?"

I turned to Shikamaru and saw him shrug. I laughed slightly, "I guess." I went over to the desk and asked Ino for whatever random flower she can find me.

Ino went to the back of the store to grab me one and I looked up to Shikamaru. It had been a long time since I had any alone time with him, the last time was when he told me he loved me. I smiled and leaned up towards Shikamaru; he followed my lead and gave me a gentle peck on the lips.

"Awwww. You two are so cute!" Ino came back, a flower in hand.

Both Shikamaru and I flushed a little. I turned to Ino and pulled out my wallet, "how much?"

"No charge today. You're too cute to make you pay." The blonde handed me the flower; it was a vibrant blue.

I blinked, "Okay." Whatever works.

After some talking with Ino about how we were doing, Shikamaru and I decided that we were going to go find a place to lie down in the grass until it started to get dark. We found a place that was on the edge of a park; it was pretty nice and quiet.

Shikamaru lied back on the grass and closed his eyes. I placed my bag down beside me and stopped to look at my love for a moment, a small smile forming on my face. We finally have some alone time together, thank god.

Then out of the blue Shikamaru asked, "Yuri, why do you never talk about your mother?"

I tilted my head slightly and sat down beside him, "You already know why, I heard you tell Ryu when I was almost asleep before." I don't know why Shikamaru is asking me if he already knows the answer.

Shikamaru's voice was calm as he responded, "I know, but I want to hear you say it."

"Why do I need to say it? You know why, so that should be the end of the conversation." I was starting to get defensive. Shikamaru knows that I don't like to talk about my mother and yet he won't stop pressing the issue.

The young man beside me sighed as opened his eyes and sat up to look at me. "Have you ever said it out loud?"

I could feel the expression on my face quickly turn from that of anger to one of anxiety. My heart started to feel heavy in my chest as I thought about it. I shook my head, "No. Why are you bugging me about this? You know I don't like it." I was on the verge of yelling.

"It's not like I like talking about it either. But have you ever thought that not being able to say it out loud is part of the reason why you can't move on from your mother's death?" Shikamaru's voice slowly rose.

I turned away from Shikamaru and grabbed my bag. I stood up to leave; I'm not in any position to deal with this right now. "I can't deal with this right now." I mumbled to him.

Shikamaru stood up after me and grabbed my arm, preventing me from leaving. "Yuri, if you don't deal with this now I don't know if I can see you anymore."

His words pierced right through my chest. I guess I was a fool to think that he wouldn't get fed up with my brokenness. I didn't say anything; I didn't know what to do.

He continued, "There's only so much of this I can take."

I felt a tear escape one of my eyes and I wiped it before it could fall to the ground. "What do you want me to say Shikamaru? I watched my mother die? Fine! I watched as my own mother choked on her own blood and I did nothing to try and help her. Even after she started to reach out for me I still did nothing. It's my fault that she's dead." I took in a deep breath before I finished, "And saying it out loud doesn't change anything, so just drop it already." I muttered as I still looked away from him.

He was slightly taken aback by my sudden boldness. It took him a few seconds to respond, "It's not your fault. You were just a kid." He squeezed my arm a little tighter for a second before letting go.

I took a half step back away from Shikamaru, "You weren't there, what would you know?"

"Your mother was going to die whether you were there or not." The Nara lifted the hand that was just constricting me and gently placed it on my face. "Stop blaming yourself."

I rested my head into Shikamaru's hand. Even though I'm angry at him right now for bringing this up I can't stop the affect his touch has on me. It feels he's the strongest magnet in the world; like no matter what I do I will always be pulled towards him.

I took a step towards him and placed my hand over his. His hands were always a bit rough and calloused, just like my mother's were. He was a ninja, just like my mother and whether I like it or not I've been drawn back into their world. A world full of bloodshed and death.

Then it was like I was broken again. I felt the tears fall down my face and I knew the sobs were not that far behind. I let go of Shikamaru's hand and hugged him tightly, trying to get as close as him as possible so that he could hold the pieces of what was left of me together. He immediately had wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on mine.

I saw my mother die. Because of that I hate hospitals and any mention of her scares me. I've been trying for so long to just bury the memories in my head but it feels like they're pouring out. The number on the door to my mom's room displayed a 3. The room itself was quite small, only enough room for a single bed and some supplies.

They had transferred my mom out of the ICU because they thought she was passed the worst of it. I was only a little taller than the top of the bed; I remember I had to stand on my tiptoes in order to see her.

It was in the middle of winter, cold and rainy weather outside. Visiting hours were almost over and I was in my mom's room alone with her. My dad had gone to go grab us some food because we hadn't eaten all day. I sat in my dad's big chair that he had put beside the bed and looked at my mother sleeping peacefully.

Then it happened. Out of nowhere my mom woke up and started coughing blood. There was a never ending amount of it coming out of her mouth and onto her bed. I was so scared, so I leaned as far back into the chair I could.

When I did that my mom turned and looked at me, "Y-y" She tried to say my name but the blood kept coming out.

She reached out for me with her bandages arm, trying to grab me. I stared at her horrified, drops of blood spilling onto me as my mom kept trying to say my name. The look in her eyes was the worst, it seemed like she was scared, afraid to die.

Then the nurses and the doctor's rushed in then and crowded around the bed. I was moved away from my mom and I watched as they tried to resuscitate her.

After five minutes my mom was dead.

* * *

I came home about an hour after it had turned dark. Shikamaru walked me even though my house is out of his way. I was so tired from all the crying all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep a dreamless sleep.

When I entered the house I shouted that I was home and slowly made my way to the stairs. Right before I stepped onto the first step Ryu came out from the storage room holding a big cardboard box. "Yu-chan, can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked me as he placed the box down on the floor by the front door.

I groaned, "Do we have to talk now? I'm tired." I tried to hide my face from him because I didn't want him to see how puffy and red my eyes were.

I took a step on the stairs when Ryu spoke up again, "Shikamaru-kun talked to you about Kurai right?"

I froze as I realized Ryu's plan, "You told him to bring up mom?" My voice shrilled and I stepped back down, turning to my uncle.

When Ryu saw my expression he looked sort of shocked; I guess he didn't think I'd be this mad. I started to walk towards him, "Is that the only reason you left us alone? So Shikamaru would ask? If you wanted to know how I felt about my mother so badly you should have just asked me!" I was shouting; pretty loudly and abruptly.

"Yu-chan, what I was supposed to do? It's obvious your dad just babies you and does what you want so that you won't freak out about Kurai. It's so disrespectful to Kurai to have her concealed in the home she fought so hard to have." Ryu's voice was stern, he was calm and collected.

Something about the way Ryu said '_in the home she fought so hard to have_' stuck out to me. "What do you mean she fought?" I'm not letting him or Shikamaru going to get away with forcing me to talk about mom, but I'm curious to see what he meant.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Ryu walked over to the main room and sat down on the couch, patting the spot beside him.

I walked over and sat across from on the other couch; I was still mad. He didn't seem to think anything of my action. He took a deep breath, "You know that your Mother and I are from Kiri. When your father was young, probably a year or two older than you are now; he came to Kiri as an intern to study under some of our medic-nins. He met Kurai not too long after he arrived, and the next thing you know they're madly in love."

This part of the story I knew, my mom told me about this when I was younger when I asked her why she had a forehead protector that looked was not a Kohona leaf. Although my mom went into more detail about how my father would get her all these different types of flowers and leave them for her to find. I remember thinking how cool of an idea it would be to leave flowers for people to find.

My uncle continued, "Suisen's internship only lasted about six months, but he was madly in love with your mother. He originally wanted to stay in Kiri with her, but our father wouldn't allow it. Your grandfather had always wanted your mother to end up with a strong, brave and well respected ninja; someone who could take care of her. So when he found out that she fell for a normal, weak intern that studies flowers of all things he prohibited them to see each other."

This shocked me quite a bit; Dad had never told me any of this. I guess Ryu is right in the fact that my dad protected me from anything related to Mom. But if my dad wasn't supposed to see my mom, why would he do that to me and Shikamaru? Wouldn't he know what the ramifications of forbidding me from seeing the one I love?

"So, after failing in trying to convince my father, Kurai left Kiri and went to Kohona to be with Suisen." I looked down to the floor, "Yu-chan, you become more and more like your mother every day. You're even following in her footsteps without realizing it.

"You can try to hide her photos and repress your memories of her, but she will not go away. You see her everyday when you look in the mirror, and your actions are mirrored by hers. That's why I asked Shikamaru to talk to you about her; you need to acknowledge her because if you don't accept your mother as a part of your life, you're not accepting yourself."

There was a paused as my uncle waited for a response. "Is that it?" I asked him, my eyes still glued to the floor.

Ryu sighed, stood up and walked over to the door, picking up the box. "I got to go take this stuff down to the dump. I'll be back in about an hour." He paused for a moment, "Don't blame Shikamaru-kun, all of this is my doing."

Once Ryu left I unconsciously made my way up to my room and into my bed. I spent the whole time just thinking of the words my uncle said.

_You can try to hide her… but she will not go away._

_You see her everyday when you look in the mirror…_

…_and your actions are mirrored by hers._

If I am like my mother, then when she was reaching out of me, she was trying to close my eyes. I know that if I was in her situation all I would worry about would be how my child would deal with what they were seeing.

That night when I fell asleep, it wasn't dreamless like I thought it would be. But then again I did not have the nightmare that had been haunting me for months. I had a dream about my mother for the first time since her death.

And I have never slept more soundly in my life.


	15. Time Apart

**Time Apart**

**Nara Shikamaru**

Have I mentioned before how much I hate sand? I'm in Suna for the chuunin exams and I'm reminded again why I could never live in a desert. The heat is too intense, and the sand somehow gets into places you'd rather not talk about.

I have two goals while I'm here; to survive the chuunin exams in this god forsaken heat, and to somehow convince Yuri's father to give us his blessing once again. My plan right now is to go through the preparation of the chuunin exams, and when I figure out how to approach Suisen without being killed I'll go talk to him.

But I can't help but wonder how Yuri is handling the distance. After I talked to her about her mother she seemed to be improving. She doesn't need to nap during the day anymore because she gets more than enough sleep at night. Once or twice I actually had to wake her up and listen to her complain about how she was having such a nice dream and how I ruined it.

For the longest time I thought her issues were due to the accident, but it all seemed to be rooted in her mother. And now that she's doing better all that's left is to get her father's approval so we can go back to normal. It's been a rough few months but I think we can finally start to move on from all of this.

Back to the situation at hand; I'm here with Temari trying to figure out what training areas to use during the exams. "We could always use area #24 for the second part of the exam. It looks like the only training area large enough to hold the event the kages wanted." I pointed to the area on one of the many maps that were laid out on the table.

The kunoichi pulled out another map and pointed to a big empty part of the desert. "There's an oasis right here, we could try to incorporate that." The kunai Temari had in her pockets clanked together as she leaned forward to grab the map.

I wonder what would Yuri have been like if she had finished the academy and become a ninja? The idea seems so foreign; she just seems like the kind of person who would stray from violence and bloodshed. Well, she did until she moved into my house. I introduced it back into her life.

There was a large crash beside me as Temari's fan that was against the wall hit the ground. I shook my head and tried to concentrate on the papers in front of me. I'm thinking about Yuri too much.

Temari picked up her fan and placed it on the chair beside the desk. Not like I minded, neither of us are sitting. "Are you still dating Yuri-chan?" The blonde questioned me as she pulled out a map from underneath the pile.

I nodded, "Yeah. For about three months now I think." It's probably around two months now that I think about it. It feels like it's been three years.

"So around the last time you were here?" She questioned me and I nodded again.

Sometimes I think this whole thing with Yuri isn't worth the trouble. When I got into a relationship with her I wasn't really prepared for the neediness that came with it. Then again, she sort of almost died and has had to deal with her mother's death for years.

The only thing close to any of that that I've experienced is Asuma's death, and I dealt with Hidan long before Yuri moved into our house. But that reminds me, when I get back to Kohona I have to check to see how Kurenai is with the baby. It's a hassle, but it's a promise I made to Asuma that I need to follow through with.

"I think we should go with the oasis." Temari concluded and start to roll up the other maps.

I raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "What if there's a sandstorm? It would take too much time to reschedule and move the test. We should just hold it in training area so we can better handle the weather conditions." I explained to her, although knowing her it would just pass through her thick skull.

Temari continued to roll up the maps, "It'll be fine." She persisted as she opened a cabinet and placed the scrolls inside.

I don't know why I even bother to try to reason with her. "You're the one in charge, so sure I guess." I know when it messes up I'll be the one to deal with the new arrangements. What a pain.

Then I heard a knock come from behind me, by the door. Both Temari and I turned to look and saw one of the secretaries, "Nara-san this came for you in the mail." She handed me a letter postmarked from Kohona.

I looked at the writing on the envelope and laughed slightly. "Who is it from?" Temari asked me as she hovered behind me and looked down at the envelope. Nosy woman…

"It's from Yuri." I explained and placed it into my pocket, "Are you going to make preparations for the Oasis or should I?" I questioned her.

"I'll do it. You find the arena for the third round and set it up." The chuunin exams were so much easier when I was running it in Kohona. But I can't really say anything about it now; I'm outranked by Temari.

After Temari left to go make preparations for the exams I pulled up the chair that was behind the desk and took Yuri's letter out of my pocket. The envelope was a light purple colour and she had written in blue ink on the top. I opened up the envelope and pulled out the purple paper that matched the envelope. The paper had a flower watermark on it in a darker shade of purple.

_Shikamaru,_

_I know I said I wasn't going to write until you were gone at least two weeks, but I'm restless. Expect more mail soon._

_Today was a pretty big day for flowers and plants. They discovered this rat eating pitcher plant! Can you believe it? It's large enough to eat rats and frogs. Basically its prey falls down into the pitcher part of the plant and it slowly dissolves the prey with acid-like enzymes! That's so awesome. _

I laughed. Leave it to Yuri to find something as obscure as carnivorous plants awesome.

_Ryu is complaining about how I should have gone with you to visit my father. Although, I think he's just saying that so he can go back to Kiri and see his girlfriend. He let it slip one night after drinking that he was doing my father a huge favour, leaving behind his girlfriend and everything._

_Speaking of my dad, are you going to talk to him while you're there in Suna? I have a feeling you're going to try. I don't know if that's such a good idea Shikamaru. He sort of wants you dead… But you do whatever you have to; just make sure to come back to me in one piece. _

_With love,_

_Yuri _

_P.S. Don't get too annoyed at the bossy women! I know without me there you're just going to be in a bad mood all the time. Ok, I give myself too much credit, but still. My point is valid. Bye!_

Her point is very valid; I've been in a somewhat sour mood since I got here. Sort of because of the sand, but also because I haven't been separated from Yuri for this long since after the accident. Even after all that shit she went through she still is one of the most logical people I know. I miss that. I miss her.

I opened the envelope wide to put the letter back in and I noticed something else inside it. It was a photograph of the rat eating plant. I flipped the photo over and read what was written on the back.

_Just thought you'd want to see the plant. _

_S.Y._

I pulled out my wallet and place the photo of the plant behind the picture of Team 8 taken when I was just made a genin. I placed the letter into the envelope, and the envelope back into my pocket.

* * *

Later that evening I headed to a restaurant with some of the other ninjas preparing for the exams. We decided to go out to eat before heading in for the night. Once we arrived I looked around the large restaurant and saw the expensive furniture and paintings on the wall. I have a feeling my wallet isn't going to like this…

Then as I was looking around I noticed a man sitting alone at a table for two. I turned to one of the other guys I came in with, "I got to go talk to someone. Save me a seat." He nodded as I waved.

I walked up to the man who was sitting alone and took in a deep breath, "Sukai-san." I greeted him.

Suisen hadn't noticed me until I spoke up. When he did his expression changed to one of complete annoyance. I guess he wasn't expecting to see me right now. "I heard you were in town Shikamaru-kun. What do you want?" He exclaimed in complete distain.

I pulled out the chair and sat down, "I need to talk to you about Yuri."

"There is nothing about my daughter that I want to hear from you." He told me as he grabbed his menu and started to look through it. Great... He's going to try to ignore me.

I figured this was going to happen, so I just need to tell him what I want to say, whether he wants to hear it or not. "Yuri and I are still seeing each other." I explained.

"I know." He turned the menu and started to read the back of it. "I got a letter from Yuri today. It said that you were probably going to come visit me."

"I know you told me to stay away from her but you had to have known that separating Yuri and I right after the accident was not a good idea. There was a while where I was worried she was just going to kill herself." This caught Suisen's attention, "She couldn't even function as a normal human being. How you expected her to deal with her injury and breaking up with me I had no clue." That last sentence sounded sort of conceited.

"Yuri's a strong girl; she would have made it through somehow." When Suisen said that, it sounded more like he was saying it to himself then to me.

"That's what I thought until I found her sleeping in my bed when no one was home because it was the only way she was able to sleep. She was on the verge of a complete mental breakdown." I want to believe I'm making it sound worse than it actually was, but sadly, all of this is true.

"She's dealt it with worse and ended up perfectly fine." Suisen's voice was flat; it was obvious he was trying to control his temper.

"Removing all reminders of her mother so she wouldn't have to think about it is not dealing with it."

"Watch your mouth." Suisen spat out. I guess that got him angry.

I sighed, "She might have been able to repress her memories of what happened with her mother because you took down her pictures, but she wasn't able to this time. For weeks after the accident if anyone got too close to her neck she would squeeze her hands around the wound, making it worse and delaying healing. This was far more traumatic to her then watching her mother die."

Yuri's father put down his menu, but kept his eyes on it. "She told you what happened to her mother?"

I nodded, "She did."

Suisen paused for a moment before responding, "Shikamaru-kun, I'm not going to deny the attachment my daughter has to you. She wrote in her letter that she loves you. But, I need to ask you to stop seeing my daughter for her own sake. She can't deal with the constant worry that comes from being with a ninja."

He's right. When I leave on extended missions she usually goes stir crazy. The letter today is the perfect example of how she can get. This is one of the reasons why I initially rejected her here in Suna three months ago. But things are different now.

"I can't do that." I shook my head, "I love her too. I can't just leave her willingly like that."

Suisen swallowed and let out an exasperated sigh. "Today started out so nicely. I had gotten a letter from my daughter explaining to me about this new plant, and I was so excited about asking Asobi to marry me, but now… I have to deal with _this_."

Marry him? Shouldn't he have consulted Yuri about this? I don't think she's ready to have a step mother.

"Shikamaru, I'm asking you to break up with my daughter because I'm going to make her move out here with me and Asobi. I want her to go back to living with her family. She's been thrown around from place to place a lot of over the last few years but now things are different."

The only thing that was different now from the past few years was the fact that I was now dating Yuri. I'm sure he's just telling me this so he can finally get me, the cause of her accident, to go away. "Suisen, I don't want to put her into a difficult position, but if you try to move Yuri out here, I'm going to ask her to stay in Kohona."

At this point we stared each other down. I hate getting into these alpha male subconscious fights, but when it comes to Yuri I'll do whatever it takes.

Suisen backed off slightly, "You realize that it's not going to be much longer until you're bored of each other and want to see different people. Asking her to stay is pointless."

"I'm never going to get bored of her. I plan to someday make her my wife." I've never really told anyone this but it's true. I've put a lot of thought into this, and it makes sense. Granted I'm not going to marry her anytime soon, probably in a few years.

"You're only seventeen; you're too young to be making those kinds of decisions."

"In the past, anything that made me exert any effort I thought wasn't worth doing. I was a coward who would run away the first chance he got. After my teacher died I vowed to protect his child and to become someone who he could look up to. If I back down now I'll be the guy who gave up the best thing in his life because it was too troublesome to deal with. No one will want to look up to that."

I stood up and tucked the chair back into the table. "Suisen, the only way I'm going to stop seeing Yuri is if she doesn't need me anymore, which is highly doubtful. So get used to me, because I'm not going anywhere. Good luck on your proposal though." I waved goodbye and headed to the table where the other ninjas I came with were sitting.

**

* * *

**

**Sukai Yuri**

I've been questioning over the past few weeks if my almost instant recovery was for real. I didn't really believe that I would be okay when I saw blood again. And I was still afraid to go to sleep because I expected the nightmares to return at any moment.

But I know now for sure that my recovery is almost complete. Three days ago Ryu and I left Kohona to come to Suna; my dad for some reason wants to tell me something in person. I was hesitant at first since I thought that if I went, I would freak out just like I did before, and all my progress would have been for nothing. However, Ryu did not give me a choice; he basically dragged me the first day out.

We're approaching Suna now, and I surprisingly did not freak out once. In fact I'm actually more excited than anything. I know that as soon as I get there I will be able to see Shikamaru for the first time in two weeks. I've been so unsure of what to do with myself ever since he left. I tried to concentrate on my research but my mind always seems to go to him.

When I stepped through the gates of Suna, I was greeted by the one that I need the most. Shikamaru looked more tanned, my guess from being in the sun so long. He seemed... different. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. He was more mature, more... confident.

Within five seconds of seeing him, and taking it all in, I had my arms wrapped tightly around him. However, Shikamaru did not hug me back. He grabbed onto my shoulders and pushed me back a little. He sighed, "Yuri how many times have I told you not to hug me when I have my gear on..."

He's complained about this a lot. "Around 10 or so." I commented, "I thought it didn't matter anymore since you moved anything dangerous out of the way."

"I moved 'anything dangerous' because I knew you were still going to do it even though I tell you not to."

I lifted my hand and grabbed the zipper of his vest, pulling it all the way down. I then took this opportunity to reach inside the vest and embrace him again. He can't complain now, I'm not touching anything lethal.

It took a few seconds for Shikamaru to hug me, but he did. I think Ryu did some sort of weird expression that distracted him. After two weeks of being separated from him I finally had him in my arms again. There is nothing in the world that could ruin this day for me.

"Yuri, I was thinking..." Shikamaru paused, "what if tonight we go out on a date?"

I looked up to him and released my hug; I still held onto his shirt though, "A date? We've never gone on one before."

I wouldn't call what we normally do, dates although most people would. Shikamaru and I's lifestyles sort of match perfectly so when we are together, it's just like we're two friends hanging out. And when we go out to eat it's just like two friends grabbing lunch together; we're comfortable sitting with each other in silence.

A date is different.

"I thought it would be nice since we haven't seen each other in two weeks." Shikamaru has that look on his face like he's planning something. I've been paying more attention to Shikamaru's mannerisms lately since he told me that how he's able to read to me so well.

I nodded, "Ok. And then you can tell me whatever it is you want to say?" I hope I'm right. If I am it'll mean my paying attention is starting to pay off.

Shikamaru blinked. I knew it! He let out a soft chuckle, "I'll tell you then, but it has to be after you see your dad."

"What did you two talk about anyways? When my dad told me to come to Suna, he was very adamant about me using this opportunity to break up with you because you're no good for me." At the very end of that I was imitating my father's voice.

"I'll explain everything later. Including what I said to your dad. But I got to go and proctor the first part of the chunnin exams."

My grip on Shikamaru's shirt tightened as he leaned down and kissed me. I sighed and let go, "Alright, I'll see you after the exam." And with that Shikamaru vanished from right in front of me.

* * *

After meeting with Shikamaru I went immediately to the green house to see my father. I have a feeling I know what my dad is going to say. The only reason why he would force me out here would be to tell me something very important. And the fact that he told me to use this chance to break up with Shikamaru suggests to me that he's decided to stay in Suna permanently and wants me to move out here with him.

When I arrived at the green house it appeared to be just as I last saw it three months ago. Life and warmth was all around in the air as the plants and herbs seemed to be content. I love this atmosphere, it's very calming. As I was looking around I saw my Dad come out from behind one of the larger plants a few feet away.

"Dad!" I shouted as I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. He may have forbidden me from seeing Shikamaru and made things worse. But he's still my father and it would be a lie if I said I didn't miss him after all that's happened to me.

My dad hugged me back and I heard Ryu speak up from behind me. "It seems like Yu-chan is getting all the attention today." He sighed, "Everyone is ignoring me."

I looked back to him and glared. If my dad was any smart, which he is, he would now know that I saw Shikamaru right before coming here. Just great. But to my surprise, my dad laughed. "I'm assuming after this you're going to see Shikamaru-kun again?" he questioned me.

I hesitated slightly before nodding. "I guess we got to get this talk out of the way then." My dad sighed and started to lead me to a more private area.

"Can't this wait until later Suisen? She just got here, let her rest." Ryu tried to reason with my father. When I looked back to him though, there was something off about Ryu's demeanour.

My dad paused for a second to look at Ryu; his expression was more of an elder as opposed to a peer. "We both know what's going to happen later and she needs to know before then."

Ok. This is scaring me. "Dad… What's wrong?" I asked him as he pulled me aside. I looked back to Ryu only to see him looking at the ground, dejected. Then when I moved my gaze back to my father, I felt my stomach lurch.

My Dad let out a deep sigh. His expression was very dark as he looked at me. He placed a hand on my shoulder and said the two words that will change my life forever. "I'm sick."

* * *

This door.

This door is dark brown, and the wood had obviously aged over the years. The hinges were black, a sort of metal, and appeared to be new. I guess the old hinges gave up on the door and had to be replaced.

On the other side of this door lies Shikamaru, so blissfully unaware of what I'm about to do to him. So much has happened to us in these last few months that I can't even believe what I'm going to do. I nearly died and Shikamaru blamed himself for not protecting me. And even though we were forbidden to see each other, we still did because it was harder being apart than together.

Somewhere along that line I fell in love with him. I don't know if the accident intensified the feeling, but it really is the only reason why I said it. Before the accident I was too nervous to even hug him without freaking out. It allowed me to be more open with him, be more vulnerable.

And now I was going to undo everything that we've accomplished. Everything we went through: the pain, the sneaking around, the fighting, and ultimately the realization of our love.

I am going to destroy it all.

I have no choice. I have to stay with my father. I have to spend whatever time he has left with him. I can't just leave him knowing that if I do, it would probably be the last time I see him. My Dad told me that if he's lucky, he can get a year or two.

A year or two.

Shikamaru has to understand. I know that losing companions is a risk you take on every mission, but his sensei Asuma meant so much to him. I'm sure he'll understand my reasons for staying behind. If he had a chance to spend some more time with Asuma I'm sure he would do anything for it. I never actually formally met Asuma, but I feel like I know enough about him through Shikamaru that he would have liked me. He would have liked how I've changed Shikamaru. Finally shown him how not all women are something to be feared.

Ah. I retract that last statement. Shikamaru is right to fear women. Whether it'll be because they yell at him, or whether it'll be because they'll break his heart. The entire time we were together I concentrated so much on the trust I placed in him, I didn't really realize how much trust he had placed in me. He trusts me not to break his heart and now I'm going to betray him. He might as well have been the one that nearly died.

Maybe I'm just overreacting. Maybe he'll understand, and we'll keep seeing each other through this hard time. Even though I'm not going to stay in Kohona now, as twisted as it is to say this, my Dad is going to die soon. And I will go back to Kohona when he does. It's my home.

Shikamaru and I could stay together. We can do this. We've somehow survived until now, and I'm sure this is just going to be one more obstacle that we'll have to fight through.

I raised my fist to knock on the door. I looked at my hand as it inched closer and closer to the wood. I hesitated right before touching it though. My stomach is a mess, my heart is flailing and I just feel sick. Sick to my very core for the very cruel and horrible thing that I am about to do.

I tapped on the door at first, but then it quickly escalated to a loud thrashing. "Shikamaru," I continued to knock, my hand just moving on its own. "Shikamaru!" I prepared myself for the return of the hole; for when my heart breaks into two. "Shikamaru!" I shouted again.

The door finally pulled open and I saw Shikamaru's sleepy eyes. He was still dressed in his ninja gear. He probably took a nap after he finished proctoring the exam, so he wouldn't be tired on our date.

God what am I doing? I can't do this to him. Maybe I can stay in Kohona and make frequent trips back to Suna. I can't do this. I can't destroy the relationship that I fought so hard to have. The one that I still so desperately want.

"What is it Yuri? What's wrong?" I was slightly surprised that Shikamaru couldn't tell right away what I was about to do to him. He's usually able to read me so well... I guess he never expected me to be doing this. When I saw the genuine look behind his eyes I couldn't fight back the tears any longer.

I just need to get the words out. If I just concentrate on saying the words, I'll able to do this. I'll be able to do the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I took in a deep breath and concentrated on what I wanted to say. I just need to say it in short words. And be straight to the point. I just need to say it.

"I can't. I can't stay in Kohona with you. I'm sorry."

There I did it. I said what I came here to say. Now Shikamaru is going to ask why. Then I'll explain to him that my Father is sick and we'll be alright. We'll get through this.

Shikamaru didn't say a word though. He just looked at me trying to gauge whether or not I was serious. After he was convinced he closed the door without a single word.

My eyes widened in surprise. He was supposed to ask why. Shikamaru is the type of guy who asks why and gets the whole story before making a decision. He doesn't just shut the door in the face of someone who he loves. That's just not him. "Shikamaru," my voice cracked.

"Shikamaru?" I questioned again, leaning on the door with my cries turning into sobs. I tried to explain myself: "My father is sick. I have to spend whatever time I have left with him... Otherwise I would stay with you, stay with you forever."

I waited for a response. I waited for any sign that Shikamaru was on the other side of that door. But I wouldn't know for another two years that Shikamaru had left the apartment as soon as he shut the door.

**END OF PART 1**


	16. Home 'Sweet' Home

**Part 2**

**Home 'Sweet' Home**

An open box almost filled to the brim with clothes falls onto the floor, making a loud 'THUD'. Keisuke and I both cringe as the sound echoes throughout the room. "Sheesh Yuri, watch what you're doing." Keisuke tells me as he lifts the box from in front of me and inspects it for damage.

"Sorry…" I mumble incoherently as I move on to the next box, leaving him to tape up the dented one. I pull my long hair into a ponytail as I continue, "It just slipped."

After placing the box onto the floor, the young man in front of me moves his dark brown hair out of the his eyes. He glances at me for a brief instant as he grabs the packing tape off my bed. He's a good friend; I've known him for about a year and a half now, ever since he became my Father's apprentice. The only problem is he seems to _like_ me.

I grab one of the picture frames off my nightstand, and start to wrap it in newspaper. "I told you, you don't have to do this. I can pack up my things myself." I admit, having Keisuke here to pack up the heavy stuff is nice, but I don't want to deal with him and his 'feelings' right now.

Keisuke has been pretty close to my family for a while now. He took it upon himself to help Asobi and I take care of my Dad. And in the end, Keisuke became like a son to him.

"You know you need to be around the people that love you right now. Besides, I don't get why you're leaving so soon after Suisen died. Like I understand Kohona is where you grew up and all, but Shikamaru could be there."

I freeze for a moment at the mention of _him_. I can feel my heart leaping in my chest as I quickly finish wrapping the frame in my hands. "There's no 'could'. He is going to be there." A lump in my throat starts to develop after I say 'him'. _He_ wouldn't have left Kohona when _he's_ had chances to leave in the past. I know that for certain.

"Then don't go. He's the one that left you remember? Why would you go back?" Keisuke knows better than the push my limits like this. I have a feeling he's going to attempt to show me affection again. And once again I'm going to have to reject him… This is precisely why I didn't want to deal with Keisuke right now.

I let out a shallow breath, "Technically I was the one who said no…" I stand by my bed and watch Keisuke pack up the books on my shelf. If he gets me thinking anymore about this I'm going to have to kick him out. I don't need him seeing me break down. It will only lead him to believe that I trust him or something.

"Either way, you're just going to end up hurt like when he left two years ago. I don't know why you would put yourself in that position again."

Actually, it was a year and 9 months. Not two years.

"Keisuke, Kohona is my home. It's where I belong and we both know the only reason I was here was my Father." I pick up a flattened box off the floor and place it on the bed, opening it up. "And now he's gone, so there's no point in staying here any longer."

The tension in the room was starting to grow and we were both silent for a few minutes. I wish this silence could continue forever as it will mean _that _moment will never come. The moment in which Keisuke will try to show that he's there for me in my time of need.

I start to place the wrapped frames into the box one by one, and as I suspected Keisuke took this chance to attack. He comes up to me and stands about a foot away. Slowly removing the frame from my hands, he holds onto one of my arms. I shy away from him slightly as he moves in closer. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?" He whispers to me.

"Yes. This is what I want to do," I lie and free my arm from his grasp. I take the frame back from him and place it inside the box, ignoring him.

I'm honestly not sure if this is what I want to do at all. The sheer idea that I could see _him_ scares me to the point where I feel like I'm going to faint. After _he_ left me… Well let's just say it looked like I was the sick one and not my father.

I can feel Keisuke's eyes on me as I continue to ignore him. He doesn't back down from his position; he just watches me as I slowly take one frame from the mattress and delicately place it into the box.

He's frustrated. That much is easy to tell.

Keisuke begins to open his mouth to say something, but is cut off by a loud shriek from downstairs."Yuri-chan! Keisuke-kun! Lunch!"

Asobi-san always had an uncanny ability to interrupt a moment. She has no idea how grateful I am for that. I take this opportunity to get away from Keisuke and head downstairs to enjoy a meal with the remnants of my 'family'.

"Morning," I greet my step-mother, Asobi as I sit down at the table. Well I guess now that my Father is dead she's no longer my step mother.

Keisuke quietly sits beside me and repeats my greeting, "Morning," he says sullenly.

I sigh. No matter what he does, or how hard he tries, I will never view him as anything else but a friend. Nor will I give him the chance he wants; because I know if I did all I would do, is compare him to _him_. And I hate to say it, but Keisuke was fail miserably in comparison.

Asobi grabs two plates full of food and places them down on the table in front of Keisuke and me. The house we live in now is small and cozy I guess. It reminds me a lot of my old house in Kohona now that I think about it. After Dad married Asobi we found his old apartment to be too cramped for the three of us, so we moved into a house that was closer to the hospital.

My former step mother glances over to Keisuke's brooding face and then looks at me, shaking her head. Like my Father once did, she doesn't understand why I don't accept Keisuke. I can't even count the amount of times I've been confronted by the both of them asking me to explain my reluctance.

"What? What's that expression for?" I snap.

The eyes in Asobi's pretty little blonde head nearly come out of their sockets after I say that. She puts down her fork, and glares at me. "There's no need to make a scene in front of our guest Yuri."

"Keisuke doesn't care. He's too busy concentrating on how I rejected him for the hundredth time." I rebuke. I know, mean, but if I'm not blunt with these people about it they'll keep persisting.

"Y-Yuri!" Before Asobi and I met, my father had told her all about how wonderful and nice I was. But once she had met me, she quickly realized that that was not the case. Granted, I used to be like that before I moved here, but I didn't really see the point in being nice when I was constantly being forced to move on with my life when all I wanted to do was lie in bed and never get out again. "I'm so sorry; Yuri doesn't know what she's saying."

Putting on a weak smile, Keisuke swallows the food he has in his mouth and says, "No, Yuri's right. I'm too busy trying to figure out why the hell she would go back to a place where she's not welcomed."

I roll my eyes and stand up, "I'm going to finish packing for the place where all my _friends_ are." I emphasize _friends_ to annoy Keisuke. "After all, my escort arrives tomorrow and god knows I'm not coming back to get anything that isn't packed by then." I then push out my chair and start to head back upstairs to my room.

As I was going up I heard Asobi sigh, "There's no helping that girl Keisuke-kun."

Keisuke sighs as well, "I know."

* * *

I wait at the gate to Suna for the ninja that is supposed to escort me back home to Kohona. There is a carriage full of most of my things behind me with some horses to pull it. Anything that isn't in that carriage is now abandoned; Asobi can do whatever she wants with it.

"I don't get why we have to wait for this ninja of yours. Why can't we just go?" The carriage driver questions me.

"Well, one time when I was going back—" I am cut off mid-sentence by a loud and obnoxious voice.

"Yyyyyuuurrrrrrriiiiiii!" Ino squeals and hugs me tightly, "It's been so long! Oh my god your hair! I love how long it is now. It's almost as long as mine, wooowww."

I feel myself flush slightly; I had forgotten how cheery Ino was. It appears that I had also forgotten how ninja's have the ability to appear out of nowhere. "Hi Ino… You're the one they sent to take me back to Kohona I'm guessing?"

"Yes ma'am. But I didn't expect you to move back so quickly after your Dad died. Didn't he just die last week?" Ino's voice is pitchy; I guess she doesn't really know whether or not she should be asking me about this.

"Yes. He died last Wednesday." It was now the following Thursday after my Father died.

"I'm so sorry." The blonde says sympathetically and pulls me into another hug.

"It's okay Ino. I'm just glad he's not suffering anymore…" I didn't hug Ino back. The last person I ever hugged was standing here at this gate 1 year and 9 months ago.

Ino nods and turns to the carriage behind her, "Let's go." She tells both the carriage driver and I.

I close my eyes and nod, _Let's go_, I repeat in my mind. I'm glad to finally get away from this place. From the heat. From the sand. But most of all, from the pain. All Suna ever was to me was a catalyst for pain. It was where _he_ first rejected me, and later where I rejected him. Lastly, it was where my Father slowly fell to his grave.

Leaving is the best decision I've made in years.

* * *

Two days into our trip, Ino and I are both sitting quietly in the back of the carriage that holds all of my worldly possessions. I can tell that Ino is waiting for the opportunity to bring _him_ up. These past two days have been filled with small talk about what's happened in our lives over the last two years. Every time Ino asks me about something I need to find a way to make it so I don't bring up how much of a mess I've been. How the only reason that I got out of bed in the morning was because I knew my Dad couldn't without help. Instead, I have to fill in the gaps with my research and the plants, which Ino understands very little about.

"Are you going to ask me about—" I hesitate, "Shikamaru or what?" I tug on my hair slightly. "You've been staring at me oddly for a while now."

The kunoichi laughs nervously and waves her arms, "I've only been staring because you've changed so much! And I didn't know if it was okay to talk about him. After all, talking about you to him is sort of forbidden."

I feel my heart jump a little, just like every other time I am forced to think about _him_. It's the first time a long time that I have heard anything new related to… Shikamaru. I've been stuck in my own mind for so long, just trying to get by day by day that it just feels weird.

"I'm sure you're dying to know whether or not he had anything to do with me going back." I'm going to have to get used to talking about _him_. And thinking _his name_. I need to get used to that too.

"Not so much dying… Just curious." Ino lies to me. Of course she is dying to know. I bet you everyone in Kohona who knows about my returning is.

Putting a hand through my hair, I look at my friend accusingly. "I'm going back because Kohona is my home. It was never my choice to leave." I feed her the same speech that I gave to Keisuke over and over. I'm sure by now it sounds believable.

"You see that's what I tried to tell Shikamaru after I found out about your Dad. That you didn't want to leave, but he wouldn't hear any of it! Whenever he hears your name he runs off coming up with some excuse. Sort of reminds me of how he used to be when it came to doing anything responsible…"

"Does… he know I'm coming back? If no one's allowed to talk to him about me that is…" I question very hesitantly. I'm not sure if I even want to know this answer.

Ino shakes her head, "As far as I'm aware he doesn't. Chouji was supposed to talk to him about it after I left to come get you."

Suddenly, the horses neigh loudly and stop abruptly. There is silence for a few moments before the horses begin walking again. "Sorry you two! The horses were spooked by something." The carriage driver yells.

"Are you okay?" The blonde beside me asks and looks around for anything suspicious, getting into a defensive position.

_No, I haven't been okay in one year, 9 months and 13 days._ I think and nod, "I'm fine. It was probably just a fox in the woods."

Perfect weather.

* * *

It's one of the most resilient things in my memory of Kohona. Sure there were the odd days where there was some rain, but about three hundred and sixty days out of the year it was bright and warm.

However, the moment that I had stepped into the village I felt like a foreigner. I may know the buildings and I may know the people but … there was just no feeling of 'home' to this place like I thought there would be.

All I feel is scared and anxious; it's sort of overwhelming.

Luckily, Ino doesn't seem to pick up on my mood as we arrive at my new apartment. The house where I grew up is now occupied by an older couple, forcing me to find this place. The building itself is pretty nice and the land lady knew my father, but it's very close to _his_ house. If I wasn't in such a rush to move back I definitely wouldn't have considered this place at all. Just the proximity makes me jumpy.

"This place is sort of empty… You didn't bring any furniture?" Ino asks me as we stepped into the empty living room.

I shake my head, "I left so quickly that I didn't really have time to prepare anything besides the necessities." I walk over to the window and glance out. My heart slowly beats faster as I search the distant houses, seeing if I can see _his _house. I spin my hair around my finger as I can feel each beat of my heart so distinctly. It is as if waves of anxiety flow throughout my veins instead of my own blood. I sigh in relief, realizing it is being blocked by another house.

"When do you have to go see Tsunade-sama?" Ino asks me another question. I'm beginning to think she's uncomfortable with the silence.

I pause for a moment, trying to remember. "I think it was around 5pm. I told her in my letter we were going to get here in the afternoon… Why? What time is it now?"

The blonde looks over her shoulder to the clock on the stove. "It's almost 6."

My eyes widen and I grab my bag with my research, rushing to the door. "Uhm Ino," I stop right at the door, "Do you mind unpacking most of this for me?"

Before Ino can respond I am already running down the stairs and out the building. I didn't want to give her time to say no, and so I'll just have to deal with Ino's tantrum when I get back.

As I run through the village it feels so surreal. I know exactly where I am going. I know the shortcuts I have to take to get there in a reasonable amount of time. And yet… I feel so lost. I don't know what I'm doing, why I'm here in this place that will only cause me extreme anxiety.

After about 10 minutes of running I stop to take a break; being depressed for almost two years sort of makes you completely sedentary. I try to breathe slowly in through my nose and out through my mouth until I notice where I am. Luckily, I appear to be so tired that I can't really react to what I see in front of me. It's the barbeque restaurant where Team 8 used to come to celebrate.

My breathing tries to quicken even more as I think about who could be inside. I try to clear my head and despite my body's wishes, I run away. I run as fast as I can, knowing it's a futile effort. My mind is already filling up with these _thoughts_. Thoughts that definitely should never be thought if I wish to keep my sanity.

Soon afterwards I arrive outside Tsunade's office. I drop onto the floor beside the door and catch my breath; I can't go in there until I calm down. It's just frustrating because I've been in the village about an hour and I've already thought of _him_ more than I have in the past 6 months.

Once I think I have calmed down enough, I slowly get up on my feet and knock on the door. "Tsunade-sama," I twist the handle of the door and open it, "I'm sorry I'm late."

The hokage is talking to an ANBU at her desk. Papers enshroud the room; covering the floor and the walls. I pick up a piece of paper off the floor beside me, and look back to Tsunade. Her eyes hold deep frustration within them and I couldn't help but think that the anger was directed towards me. I know that thought is stupid, but I still look away and lift my bag off my shoulder, placing it in between Tsunade and myself.

They whisper to each other for a few seconds and then nod in unison. I suppose they are finished their important talk. Almost instantly, the ANBU disappears and the hokage and I are left alone. "Finally." Tsunade lets out a sigh of relief and leans back, "Is that really you Yuri? I can hardly recognize you."

I lightly smile and nod, "Yes, it's me. It has been a while since I've seen you Hokage-sama." I bow, "I see you are looking as stunning as ever." Hopefully complimenting her will help to dissolve her anger.

She laughs, "You seem well, all things considering." I have a feeling that Tsunade is lying to me. Or at least is using 'all things considering' in a different context then her tone suggests.

I ignore her comment and walk up to her desk, handing her the paper that I had picked up, "You seem busy."

The hokage takes the paper from my hands, "You think?" She then looks down to my neck and speaks again, "The scar hasn't healed yet?"

My hand reflexively reaches for my neck, but I stop myself before it can get there. "Yeah, the scar is still there. It just doesn't seem to want to fade." I place my hand down at my side. "I hope you're not mad at me for being so late."

"It's alright. We just need to catch up another time it seems. I have a meeting with someone very soon." It sounds like she wants me gone before the other person arrives. Must be another ANBU I'm guessing.

"Ah, I'm sorry! I guess we should get right to it then." I pull out a folder from my bag and give it to her. "In Suna I mainly worked on making hybrids of herbs and local plants to increase their resiliency. That way it would be easier to maintain and grow them given the climate conditions. In the end, I managed to successfully mix about 3 herbs and a few others to about half of their original potency."

The hokage starts to flip through the papers in the folder as I pause, waiting for a response. "And how would your work translate to Kohona?" She inquires, still looking down at the papers.

"Well I was thinking since the conditions here are so favourable I can try to increase the—" My words are cut off by someone knocking at the door.

Tsunade's face becomes filled with surprise as the door opens and the person comes in. I don't understand her expression until I hear the new person's voice, "Hokage-sama, you wanted to see me?"

My stomach instantly begins to tighten and I stop mid-breath. _His_ voice sounds deeper than it was a year and nine months ago. "Ah Shikamaru, you're early." Tsunade's voice is tense as her eyes quickly move between the two of us.

After a year and nine months of no contact, by some sick twist of luck Shikamaru and I are in the same room together. I want to turn around and look at him so badly. I want to see his face and see how he's grown. It's almost like I _need_ to look at him, like my body is trying to force me to turn around.

But whatever I do I absolutely cannot look at him. Looking at him is the gateway to everything I've been trying to prevent myself from feeling these past two years. If I hadn't tried so hard to block him out of my thoughts there would have been no way for me to deal with my father.

The only problem is he's standing in between me and the door…

I shift my focus back to Tsunade and look her in the eyes, "I guess we can finish our talk tomorrow? I should get back to my new apartment anyways, I sort of left Ino alone to unpack my things." I say the first excuse that comes to mind.

If I can get out of here as fast as possible then maybe the effects won't be all that bad. I only need to know where he's standing so I can avoid him as I walk out the door. I don't even need to look at his face, or see what he's wearing, or how what he's wearing fits him. None of that. I just need to know where in the room he is. That's all.

Urgh, my stomach does not like this sudden stress after running so much to get here. My body is really starting to feel completely drained. Especially since every nerve in my body is suddenly fully aware of what I'm doing, and my brain won't stop thinking.

I just need to see where he is and look away, I just need to see where he is and look away. I keep reminding myself over and over again.

Taking in a deep breath, I brace myself and tell my legs to turn around. It takes about three times of telling my legs to move before they actually do though. The motion feels so slow and painful, like I had just run for an hour on top of what I had just done.

When I finally turn myself enough to face the door, I see Shikamaru Nara for the first time in one year and nine months.

I can't really begin to describe the rush of emotions that are overwhelming me right now. It has been so long since I have felt anything besides emptiness, I am caught me off guard by the sudden melting of my heart. My eyes instantly catch his and I plaster a fake smile on my face. "Hello Shikamaru, it's been a while." I add in a small laugh after.

He's taller; probably as tall as his Dad, if not a tiny bit more. He is in his ninja gear, not much is different there. He looks much stronger though, his muscles are more defined and face is harder than I remember. He actually reminds me a lot of Shikaku-san minus the scars and the goatee.

Despite my body's protests to stay still I start to walk towards the door, keeping my eyes on the wall beside the door. I've already noticed too much about him. I can feel myself wanting to give in already. To beg him to listen to me and explain what happened. So much for just seeing where he is and looking away…

When I get around 3 feet away from him I can smell him. The smell is a bit different than the one that is so engraved into my memory. But nonetheless I feel slightly relaxed as I walk by. How can his smell still calm me after all this time?

I only barely avoid him as I reach the door, missing him by about an inch. I open the door and close it quickly behind me, running around the corner and out of sight.

Once clear of Tsunade's office I lean against a wall and put my hand over my heart. I try to breathe in and out slowly like before, but somehow my breaths are coming out short and ragged. Tears are flowing out of my eyes and I put my hand on my mouth to prevent the sobbing. I'm panicking. Full out panicking. This is exactly how I reacted when I realized that Shikamaru was never going to open that door two years ago. What can I do to stop this? I have tried so hard for so long to avoid this situation, to avoid even just_thinking_ of him. And in a few hours I've successfully managed to reverse any progress I had made in two years. Now all I can think about is the image of the new Shikamaru that is now burned into my memory. Whether I like it or not.


	17. Resilience

**Resilience**

My arms feel like they're going to fall off just as I reach my apartment door. I mumble to myself about how next time I go grocery shopping I should get Shikamaru to carry the bags. I place the three bags that are on my left arm on the ground and fumble around in my book bag for the keys. Once I find the keys I unlock the door and push it open with my shoulders.

"Shikamaru, I'm back." I yell into the apartment, dragging the groceries to the kitchen.

I wait for a response, but all I hear is the sound of the birds outside. I sigh and pull my book bag off, placing it on the kitchen counter. "Shikamaru," I sing, "it's already 2pm." I walk into our bedroom and lean on the door, peering down at my love.

He is sleeping in our bed, unmoved by my words. I crawl onto the bed, moving on top of him, "How is my wounded soldier doing?" I rub his shoulder, trying to wake him up.

Shikamaru's eyes flicker open slightly and I smile. "How are you feeling today?" I question him.

"I've been better." He mumbles and turns onto his side, throwing me off him in the process.

I sigh and sit up, looking at the young man in front of me. We had just moved in with each other before he got hurt on one of his missions. Ever since he's been on strict bed rest from Tsunade, leaving me to unpack our things and stock our apartment with food.

"Hey, no going back to sleep." I tell him and push his back slightly. He moans in pain slightly and I recoil, "Sorry."

"If I agree to that vacation you've been bugging me about, will you let me go back to sleep?" Shikamaru asks me, his eyes are closed and his words come out muddled.

I stare at Shikamaru's form as the blanket lies around him. I lie down beside him and wrap my arms around him. "Fine. But just this once." I close my eyes, letting myself drift off into sleep…

* * *

My eyes open and the first thing I see is the small crack that goes across my ceiling.

I turn onto my left side to see where Shikamaru was lying and place my hand over the empty spot in my bed. I feel a pull in the pit of my stomach as I realize the sunlight above my window warmed up his side of the bed.

Another dream.

I've been dreaming about Shikamaru ever since I saw him in Tsunade's office. They seem to be acting out what would have happened if I had said yes to him; if I had stayed in Kohona for the past year and 9 months. The most unnerving part about these dreams is the fact that what I do in them is no different then what I do in real life. With one exception of course, Shikamaru is always there with me.

I shake my head and sit up. I can't think about the 'what if's when it comes to him. It will only leave me upset and with a million knots in my stomach. Not to mention, if I keep this up I'll be thinking about seeing him, or even talking to him. I'm nowhere near ready for that step. I don't know if I ever will be.

After a few minutes of contemplating, I get out of bed and go through my morning routine. Surprisingly, it's not as hard to get out of bed as it used to be. I guess with my father gone I don't regret waking up in the morning anymore. Once I am dressed, I start preparing a bowl of cereal for breakfast and watch as the milk slowly devours every piece.

* * *

About an hour later I am on my way to the hokage mansion to request a mission. Something I hadn't told anyone is that my research in Suna had hit sort of a dead end in the recent months. There's only so much you can do in a desert and I had spent so much time just concentrating on increasing resiliencies that it became boring.

Now that I'm back in Kohona, there's a lot more opportunity to expand my research. The variety of the plants and flowers in the surrounding forests is amazing; I almost forgot what it was like being around such vivid wild life.

When I arrive at the hokage's mansion I head in to see the hokage herself. I know missions don't usually go straight to her but, the area where I want to go is sort of… restricted. So when I went through the proper channels they made me make an appointment with her.

I knock on the door, research in hand waiting for her to invite me in. "Come in!" I hear her yell and I open the door.

When I enter I take one look at her and immediately say, "You're looking nice today Tsunade-sama." She actually looks stressed and like she wants to kill someone, but compliments go a long way when you're looking for a favour.

She gets right to the point, "So you want to go Tonakai for research?"

I nod and hold out my research for her to take, "Yes, there's a local plant in the surrounding area that I would like to look at for breeding. If my research is correct it should help to increase the potency of some of the herbs used by Kohona."

The hokage begins to flip through my research. I can already sense that she isn't completely sold on the idea so I keep talking, "I know it's a restricted area but if bred properly, I believe this plant could make the listed medicines almost two times as strong."

"It says here there's a chance the lifespan of the herb may decrease if bred… Is it worth losing life expectancy if we're heading into the summer? Wouldn't increasing the heat resistance make more sense?" She knows more about this then I would have thought.

In response to her question I have my answer, and the answer I had drawn up from my conclusions. My answer is that I don't want to deal with heat resistance anymore, that Suna caused me to dig myself into a hole, and now I want to climb out by trying brand new things.

But I use the other and more logical excuse: "Based off my research the lifespan would only decrease by about one 12th of a percent in the worst case, and around one 20th in the average case. Plus unlike Suna, conditions in Kohona are much more favourable and make getting close to the life expectancy much easier."

Tsunade's face is unmoved as she reaches the last page and reads my conclusions. "12th is still quite a bit… And to be frank, our replacement for your father is not as skilled as he was. We have to assume that the worst case will become the average case."

Uh oh. Not good. "I used to help out my father and his apprentice all the time back in Suna. I could help teach them, or we could even ask my father's apprentice to come and help for a bit if we need to." I purposely called Keisuke my father's apprentice instead of by name. I don't need Tsunade inquiring further.

She looks like she's contemplating it, "One more question. Do you know where Tonakai resides exactly? Why it's restricted from public access?" The tone in her voice suggested that there's an underlying question she didn't explicitly ask me.

I look at her oddly for a second and then shake my head, "Not exactly, the books I've researched only told me where the plant was located, nothing more."

She pauses for a second before nodding, "Alright, what do you need?"

I smile slightly, "First I need permission to take the plant, then I need a ninja escort with access to the area, and from there I can do the rest myself."

The hokage nods and leans back in her chair, "Okay, I'll start the process and let you know tomorrow morning if you can go. Otherwise I'd start preparing alternatives just in case."

"Thank you hokage-sama," I bow and step forward to take my research. She hands it to me and I place it back into my shoulder bag. "Sayonara." I wave and exit the room.

* * *

After meeting with the hokage I decide to walk around Kohona and try to regain my bearings. Yesterday I had tried to go to one of my favourite restaurants that Shikamaru disliked (so I knew he wouldn't be there), but it turns out it closed down over a year ago. So now I'm trying to see what's still there, what's moved and what's gone.

Walking around the village, I begin to think through exactly what I want to get out of my new life in Kohona. When I was Suna I was so concentrated on getting by day by day. I didn't care what happened in a week, or even what happened in two days. I was **stuck**. Stuck in a loop that repeated for what seemed like infinity.

Wake up. Help my Father get out of bed. Eat. Wait for Keisuke to take my Father for the day. Work. Help Keisuke take my Father home. Eat. Sleep. Wake up.

The only thing I really cared about was my research and my career. Unlike my father and Keisuke who strictly grew and took care of the plants, I concentrated on the more scientific and theoretical side of botany.

And now that I'm back in Kohona and on my own, I want to get out of this loop. I want to have something to look forward to… A reason to get up in the morning aside from the fact I have to. In Suna everything for me was either ok, horrible, or unbearable. Not once did I find something good, great, awesome or exciting.

But most of all, I just want to be better. I want to move on from all the bad or unfortunate things that have happened to me in the past. I want to look on the brighter side of things, take pride in my work, accomplish something amazing and maybe even start smiling at the little things.

I sigh and stop to look up at the sun. Today was an unseasonably hot day in Kohona; it reminded me a lot of the weather in Suna. I find a bench in the shade and sit under it, pulling out a book from my bag.

I wonder if I should attempt talking to Shikamaru again. He was my best friend before we were a couple, but based off what Ino said it sounds like he wants nothing to do with me. I don't know what hurts more, the fact that we broke up or the fact that it looks like he's gotten over me.

I know I haven't gotten over him… How can I if we never had a proper goodbye? A proper 'break up' conversation where we agree to part ways? All I know for sure is at some point we need to have a conversation, otherwise my progress towards getting better will be forever skewed.

I need a distraction. I need to stop thinking about this over and over again. I look down at my book and decide to start looking up alternatives. At least my research can help me for now.

* * *

Not too long after I start I manage to finish my book, so I decide to go to the library to see what new books they had in stock. Considering I haven't been there in almost 2 years, there's bound to be something I haven't read. Hopefully the location of the library hasn't changed like the majority of my favourite things about the village.

When I arrive at the building I let out a sigh of relief as I see a sign indicating it is still the library. Thank god _something_ hasn't changed. I enter the building and look around; doesn't seem like the book organization has changed either, so the botany and biology books should be in the far left corner.

After picking out a few books I precede to the check out, and as I turn a corner I accidentally bump into someone. We both drop our books onto the ground and we immediately kneel to gather them. "Sorry," I apologize and pick up 2 of my books.

"It's okay." The person tells me. When I look up I see a blonde woman with messy tied up hair in a lab coat with glasses.

When all but one book is picked up, the woman takes it off the ground and we both stand up. She glances at the cover and reads the title out loud, "Reverse Breeding and Double Haploids?"

I nod and hold my hand out, "You must be that new botanist I keep hearing about. The one from the Sand?" The woman questions as she hands me the book.

"Well I'm the only new botanist that I know of, so I suppose so. And I'm actually from Kohona; I just relocated for a few years." I correct her, "My name is Yuri." I shuffle the books to one arm and hold the other one out shake her hand.

"Shiho. I work with the Cryptology Squad." She shakes my hand and we both begin to walk to the check out. She was taller than me, probably by about 4 or 5 inches.

"Oh cool." I reply and reach the check out, I pull out my old library card and realise it's probably expired. "You go ahead. I think I need to renew my card." I tell Shiho and move aside, letting her check out her books.

I look down to see a forehead protector on a sash she was wearing and I realize even she's a ninja. It's beginning to feel like I'm the only person I know who isn't a ninja. I mean like, even Keisuke is a ninja and he works with plants like I do…

When Shiho's done and puts her books into a bag, she turns to me. "Well it was nice meeting you." She bows.

I wave and nod goodbye, moving up in the line. Now that I think about, she said she kept hearing about me… But from who? And I wonder what exactly it is they're saying… I guess all I can hope for is that it's all good things.

* * *

The next day I wake up to the sun shining through the window over my bed. I look to the empty space on my left to see if Shikamaru is still there. He's not there, but in my sleepy haze I see his figure standing by my dresser. I guess I must still be dreaming. Excellent.

"Shikamaru come back to bed." I mumble and reach out for him with my arm, my eyes half open.

He hesitates a little and comes closer, "Come on, I'm getting cold…" Once he's within reach I pull on his clothes and yank him into the bed, wrapping my arms around him.

His scent floats around me and I sigh happily; he smells just like he did when I saw him last week. Today the dream is so much more vivid; I wish they were always like this.

"Yuri…" Shikamaru whispers, moving the hair that had fallen on my face away. "Why did you come back?"

My forehead creases, "What are you talking about?" I inch closer to him, his warmth beginning to overheat me, "I never left."

After a few moments of silence I speak again, "I love you."

He sighs and wraps his arms around me, "I wish I could believe that."

* * *

"So… What's the verdict?" I ask the hokage nervously. With such short notice the only alternative I could come up with was a recycled resiliency plan from Suna, and I **really** don't want to do that.

"To be honest I thought for sure you wouldn't be allowed to do it," Tsunade starts.

There's a pause and I interject, "But…?"

"But, by some miracle they changed their mind at the last minute and said yes." I let go of the breath I was holding and the hokage laughs. "Make sure to be at the village gates tomorrow at 9. Your escort will meet you there."

I bow, "Thank you so much."

"Just remember, you're the one who asked for this mission."

I blink, there's definitely something about this she's not telling me.

* * *

The next day I headed to the village gates for the mission. I couldn't get anything else out of Tsunade since she had another appointment right after me yesterday. Whatever she was hiding from me I guess I'll find out in about 10 minutes.

I stare up to the sky and take in a deep breath. It can't be that bad I guess. Otherwise she would have warned me. The only thing I can think of is the person who's taking me is someone I don't like, or doesn't like me. But I just returned to the village so there shouldn't be anyone like that.

When the gates are in sight I see a lone person with a pack leaning on one of the doors. As I approach the person's face slowly becomes clear and I realize exactly what Tsunade was hiding.

Shikamaru.

_"Just remember, you're the one who asked for this mission."_

It makes so much sense now.

After making a mental note to yell at Tsunade when I get back, I stop to think about this. I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions. Maybe he's meeting up with someone else, or some people for another mission. Maybe the fact that he's here is completely unrelated to the fact that I'm here.

But if he's not meeting anyone else, and he's actually taking me I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to see him, or even talk to him. How can I spend 6 days with him?

I should have just stuck with my research in resiliencies instead of trying something new. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I've been stopped for way too long now; people will start to notice I'm standing here. So I start to walk again despite the protests of my stomach and concentrate on the spot beside him instead of the one in front of him.

However, the closer I get to him the more my eyes wander. His face definitely seems more defined, more adult then it was. Also it looks like he's even more built then he was before. I'm envious.

After a bit he yawns and looks around, his dark eyes catching mine. I hold my breath when I look into his eyes. Is it just me, or did his eyes gain more depth to them over the past two years? It's so easy to get lost in them now…

5 seconds into the staring I force myself to shift my gaze to something else and I reach the gate. There's a slight pause as I concentrate on the floor waiting for some sort of remark from him.

"Ready to go to Tonakai?" He questions me, reaching behind his head to scratch an itch. His voice definitely sounds deeper.

My stomach falls and I feel like I'm going to faint. He **is** the one going with me. Shit.

I swallow and take a deep breath, trying to stop the blood rushing to my face, "let's go." I whisper and begin walking.


	18. Regret

**Regret**

_Day 1 (Sukai Yuri)_

This situation reminds of me the time after Keisuke first told me he had feelings for me. It was about six months after we met and he had asked me to dinner. I didn't think anything of it since we both ate regularly with my Father, but then when he told me the rest of dinner had been so awkward. I can still remember how silent it was…

I suppose that means I should I try to make small talk with Shikamaru, but what is there to talk about? After all we've been through how can we just talk casually about things like the weather?

"So why do you want to go to Tonakai?" Shikamaru beats me to the punch.

I make a mental note not to look at him, "Research. There's supposed to be a plant there that I would like to breed." Tsunade should have told him all this, I don't understand why he's asking.

"I see." Shikamaru sounds contemplative.

There's a pause in the conversation. "You don't have to make small talk, we can just walk in silence for the whole mission." I exclaim. Apparently my way of dealing with the situation is similar to how I dealt with things in Suna.

In the corner of my eyes I see Shikamaru look taken aback. He's obviously not used to the new, 'I'm always in a horrible mood' Yuri. "Or maybe we can try to talk about things?" He suggests, trying to be reasonable.

I shake my head and snap at him, "I don't see why we have to talk; it seems pretty straight forward to me about how 'things' are." At this point I stop walking and turn to face him. I can feel a confrontation coming on, and here I thought I only reserved this mood for Keisuke.

When I turn he does as well, "Ok, since you seem to know everything why don't you explain it to me? Why did you come back to Kohona?" He demands.

"Because it's my home! I never wanted to leave in the first place!" This conversation is beginning to seem familiar…

"Then why did you go?" Shikamaru and I are both on the verge of yelling now. The fact that he can stand his ground is pleasant though, at this point Keisuke would have given up.

"My father was sick, what choice did I have?" And now I'm yelling.

Shikamaru looks like he's about to yell when he picks up on my wording. He adjusts his tone to a calm inquiry, "**Was?**"

Although he quieted down I wasn't about to, "Yes, was! He died 3 weeks ago. I don't get why you're so surpr-" I cut myself off in the middle of 'surprised' as I come to a realization.

No… No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I can't be right about this. I'm just over thinking. Yeah, there's no way that this could ever possibly be the truth, can there?

I swallow and try to catch my breath, "Shikamaru," saying his name out loud to him feels so weird, "did you leave after you closed the door in my face?" I'm assuming he knows I'm talking about what happened 2 years ago.

Within two seconds the answer is so clear on his face that he doesn't even need to speak.

The next thing I know I feel this tidal wave of emotion overcome me, like I've slammed face first into a brick wall. 1 year, 9 months, and 22 days ago he _left_ when closed the door. He didn't hear me when I said my father was sick. He didn't hear me plead, saying I wanted to work it out. He didn't know any of it because I choose to tell him that my father was sick **after** I said no.

I think I'm going to faint.

I turn away from him and continue walking, trying to walk off the dizziness, "Yuri, wait it's not what you—" Shikamaru calls from behind me, quickly catching up to me and grabbing my shoulder.

I make sure to keep my face hidden from him and try to stop the tears. "I don't want to talk about this anymore okay? Just let me be the one to walk away this time," I shriek and pull my shoulder out of his grasp, beginning to go forward again.

After about 6 or 7 steps I hear Shikamaru starting to follow again, but this time he keeps his distance.

* * *

There are no words to describe what has happened today; everything just feels so surreal. A couple of weeks ago if you told me I was going to be arguing with Shikamaru (during a mission of all things) about what happened I would have thought you were crazy. I can't even imagine how the rest of this mission is going to go…

"Can I ask you something?" Shikamaru requests, "Once you answer you can go back to ignoring me if you want." Shikamaru and I are sitting on opposite sides of the fire. Two years ago he was beside me, and now he couldn't be any farther away.

I look up and look into his eyes, "Just one question." I confirm.

Shikamaru hesitates for a moment; his mouth is slightly open as he wills himself to ask me the question. "If your father wasn't sick—"

There's the pulling in my chest again; formerly the hole that has now overtaken my entire body. I guess you could call it more of an emptiness that grows larger as time moves on. "I would have said yes." I respond before he could even finish.

Shikamaru is unmoved; the only thing I can see is a slight flicker in his eyes. I wonder if that's the answer he was expecting. I mean, what can he possibly gain from knowing this? All it will do is continue to make this situation exceedingly awkward.

As the seconds pass, the pull in my chest gets harder. "Why did you leave?" What am I doing? The answer could only make the situation even worse than it is now. But… I need to know why he shut the door in my face when he was supposed to be in love with me.

The Nara adjusts himself slightly and grabs a stick off the ground; it was obvious this question made him uncomfortable. "I left because…" He doesn't answer, "Well I tried to go see you the next day, to apologize for leaving, but then Ryu stopped me."

Wait. What?

Oh. Shit.

Ryu was the one that got me after Shikamaru closed the door on my face. The state I was in when he found me would make anyone worry, but to go as far as separating us?

Shikamaru continues to explain, "He said a lot of things, including that your Dad was sick, but he emphasized that it was for the best that I didn't see you. He said that you were so co-dependent on me it was unhealthy."

"And you didn't disagree?" This is more of a confirmation than an inquiry.

Shikamaru hesitates before he responds, "No. I didn't."

The idea of my _uncle_ separating Shikamaru and I, is crazy. I thought after everything we went through with my accident that Shikamaru had made up his mind about being with me. I mean he said he loved me after all that I put him through. How can that just be undone like it was nothing?

He continues, "I agreed with him on how co-dependent you were, but I didn't know how separating would affect you. I was hoping since you were doing so well it wouldn't be that bad."

Wouldn't be that bad? Just when my life was starting to get some stability again Ryu decided it wasn't as good as he would like. He decided that the most important person in my life was expendable, and that I shouldn't see him. I think I'm going to be sick to my stomach.

I fall back onto my sleeping bag to help settle my stomach and I look at the stars, letting everything I just learned sink in. There was absolutely no reason for us to break up. Neither of us wanted to and it's only because of Ryu that we did. The two worst years of my life where I was subjected to a daily torture of repetitiveness and depression could have been easily prevented.

Everything related to Shikamaru could have been prevented.

And when that sinks in just enough to reach my heart I can feel my mind telling my body to cry, but for some reason the tears don't come. Instead my body is numb; perhaps from the shock of it all, or perhaps because once you hit the rock below rock bottom, being numb is all there is.

* * *

_Day 2 (Nara Shikamaru)_

I knew this was a bad idea. I should have just followed my gut and said no to this mission. We were walking for maybe an hour yesterday before we started to argue; well it felt more like she was yelling at me and I was taking it. But to be completely honest, I deserve it. As much as I agreed with Ryu about Yuri's dependencies I never wanted to stop seeing her.

And after our conversation last night I just keep thinking about the day two years ago that Yuri's Uncle convinced me that we should separate.

I had gone to her Father's apartment early in the morning to see her and apologize for being an idiot the previous day. I was just so thrown off by her answer that I didn't really think and I fled. When it comes to Yuri I tend to think with my heart more than my head. Well not the one with the brain in it anyways.

After I knocked on the door, Ryu was the one that answered, and the second he saw me I knew there was no way in hell he was letting me get through.

_"What are __**you **__doing here? Do you have any idea what you did yesterday?_" The tone in his voice sounded especially spiteful, it reminded me a lot of her Dad actually.

After explaining to him I was there to apologize he gave me his speech: _"Ever since I saw the attachment she has towards you I knew something would go wrong. It's __**unhealthy**__ how much she depends on you for everything. When I went to pick her up she had broken down to the point where I was debating if I should take her to the hospital,"_ I remember I cringed when he said that, "_I really think it's better for both of you if you take some time apart, especially considering what's happening with Suisen._"

That was when he told me Yuri's father was sick and I felt about a million times worse for what I did the night before. _"Thank you for helping her deal with Kurai's death and all, but quite frankly, Suisen hates you. If you two stay together it will only lead to endless fights between her and her father_, _and I don't want to make him or Yuri stressed out anymore than they already are. "_

And that was the point that sold me; the fact that our relationship would bring up unnecessary tension between Yuri and her Dad. If she had wanted to stay in Kohona with me as she claims then there is no doubt in my mind she would have hated her Father for making her leave.

But now that her Dad has passed the reason why we're no longer together is gone, and the fact that she came back to Kohona the week after he died says something. I'm not sure if she came back because of me (as conceited as that sounds) or because she wanted to run away. All I know is she's bottling up **something**.

The sun is rising, Yuri is still asleep and I'm sitting beside her trying to see how she's changed. Her hair is much longer, and less tangled then it used to be. Her features are sharper and more feminine. She's still the same height though, her waist is still amazing and her blue eyes are still just as striking.

The one thing I can't help but stare at is her expression. Her face always remains stoic now; two years ago I only needed to take one look at her to know exactly how she was feeling. Now I'm lucky if I can see shock on her face, let alone her every emotion.

So then yesterday when we were yelling I didn't know what to do, especially when she realized that I left. I couldn't tell if she was pissed off, or upset. For all I know she could have been happy about it all. But I guess I expected her to do more than just walk away from me. Any rational person would have screamed at me, or hit me. Maybe even say there were disappointed in me, but…

_"Just let me be the one to walk away this time."_

Man did that hurt.

I stand up and walk over to my pack, picking it up. "Yuri, wake up. We got to get going." I shout and turn to her.

She shuffles a bit and sits up, looking completely dazed. I smile a bit; very cute. I can't lie and say that there isn't something still there between us. With how we left things my feelings are still there. I'm just trying to determine whether or not it's because I still care for her, or it's because she suddenly showed up in my life again.

Once Yuri prepares her bag and is ready to go, I start walking ahead keeping the distance between us. "Shikamaru," I hear her call from behind me.

I turn and catch her eyes. If this was two years ago she would have looked away immediately, but now she always holds my gaze. I catch my breath and nod, "Yeah?"

"Wait a minute." She runs beside me, "Okay, let's go."

Yuri wants to walk beside me? I don't understand this, one second she's yelling at me and the next she's telling me to wait for her. I look at her through my peripheral vision trying to remain inconspicuous. She doesn't seem mad at me, in fact the only thing she seems is very short. I don't remember towering over her so much.

"I never said I'm sorry about your Dad. I—"

She cuts me off, "Please don't." Her voice is stern, just like yesterday.

"Don't what?" I feel like should start counting how many times she says 'don't' in one conversation.

"Don't tell me what you would have done. It's just going to make it worse."

"Make it worse?" I really hate how I can't read her, I feel like an idiot asking all these questions.

But then Yuri looks at me with something I can read; it's the look that women give you when they feel like you should _know_ what they're thinking. Even though they're being purposely vague to test you, you apparently should be able to figure it out.

I take a stab at it, "Make the awkwardness worse?"

She rolls her eyes and I immediately regret what I said. "I just found out that the reason we broke up was because you thought I liked you _too_ much. So you listened to my meddling Uncle who knew _nothing_ about us how to deal with it."

I did not realize so much anger could come from such a small person.

"Yuri, do you still have feelings for me?" I blurt out hoping that will distract her. The waves of spite and anger rolling off her will become visible at any second now.

Luckily my question throws her off guard and she's silent. "What makes you think that? All I've been doing is yelling at you!" The hesitation in her voice suggests I'm getting somewhere.

"Well when I was in your room you…" I pause to think through what I am going to say. Should I be telling her this? After all she did think she was dreaming.

But then Yuri makes the connection and she realizes what I was going to say, "The day before the mission, I wasn't dreaming was I?" her voice quivers and she covers her face.

There's the girl I remember. I shake my head and continue, "You pulled me into your bed saying you were getting cold, and then you said you loved me."

That's the real reason why I accepted this mission. When I found out she lives five minutes away from me, I went to see her. I only meant to look at her through the window, but next thing I knew I was inside. I was staring at her like I was this morning, and she woke up. I just hope she disregards the fact that I sort of broke into her apartment.

After a few seconds she drops her hands, and her face loses its colour. "It doesn't matter how I feel. You promised after my accident you weren't going to leave and that's exactly what you did."

That sentence felt like it should have been yelled at me, but instead it was said calmly. "You have no idea how much I regret that," I tell her.

She looks aside and grimaces, "Shikamaru, all you did when we were together was come up with excuses not to be with me. My uncle telling you I was better off was just the one that happened to convince you."

"You know I was like that because I was worried about if I got hurt on a mission. After what happened to your mother, I knew you would have fallen apart."

"But you're perfectly fine, and I've already fallen apart." She mumbles and my heart breaks.

I reach out to her and Yuri pulls back, shaking her head, "Don't."

How did we get here? All I ever wanted was for her to be happy, but this time I can't deny that I am part of the reason she's not. I didn't go talk to her after being such an idiot, and I didn't listen to anyone who tried to tell me I was making a mistake. Now almost two years later we're here and I am coming face to face with the aftermath of my decision.

I want to make things better between us. The second I saw her in the hokage's office I knew that I couldn't stay away. I spent the week trying to tell myself that she means nothing, but I was wrong. I need to fix this. I need her to forgive me.

* * *

We arrive at my Grandfather's house around midday and Yuri looks surprised. "I guess you didn't know, but Tonakai is basically my Grandpa's house with about 30 acres of land around it."

Technically Tonakai is more of just a name we came up for this section of land my family owns. The reason why it's restricted is simply because we raise some most of the deer here and don't want people to disturb them. It's actually sort of ironic the first place Yuri picks to do her field research it's on my family's land without her knowing it.

As we approach the house my grandparents come out to greet us. "Shikamaru!" My grandma calls and gives me a hug. "Your letter said you were going to be here three hours ago." She scolds me.

Urgh, really? I just got here and she's already nagging me.

"It was just an approximate time…" I explain to her but she ignores me and turns to Yuri, beginning to pull her into the house.

"So that's _the_ Yuri?" My grandpa asks me just when they're out of earshot.

I nod, "Yeah." Who knows what my Dad has told him about Yuri. Hopefully it isn't anything too crazy, I don't want her to become anymore uncomfortable than she already is.

His brow rises as little, "Good job." … Did he just praise me on how Yuri looks?

I glare at him slightly, "Thanks." I mumble and we both begin to head into the house.

Once inside I head up to my 'room' which was technically the room my Dad stays in when he comes over. As I head up the stairs I hear my grandma talking to Yuri, "We've heard so much about you. And you're so much prettier than Shikaku let on." My grandma sounds eerily nice…

There's a slight pause and Yuri responds, "Thank you?" I laugh at the tone in her voice; I guess I should have warned her about this. Then again I don't think there was any time with all the arguing we've been doing…

When I'm up the stairs I see that Yuri is staying in the guest room across the hall. I go in my room and try to ignore the fact that the door to the guest room is wide open. My grandma walks into the hallway, turns to Yuri and says "Dinner is in about an hour, so I'll just let you settle until then." Then she comes across the hall and tells me, "Dinner is at 6pm Shikamaru, not a minute later." My eyebrow twitches; she says that as if she expects me to be late.

Then my grandma walks down the stairs, leaving Yuri and I in our respective rooms. I sit down in a chair by the desk and place my elbows on my knees, leaning over to rub my face for a moment. After I put my hands together and use them to prop up my head as I glance over to Yuri.

Yuri is at the desk past the door placing her books on the table. After she pulls out the books she pulls out her pencil case, wallet and pretty much everything else in her bag. Then she opens her bag wide and turns it upside down, trying to see if there was anything else to dump out.

I raise my eyebrow in confusion… What is she doing?

Once she scours the pockets of her bag, she puts it down and pauses for a moment before she turns around. When she does, she immediately looks at me and I turn my head to meet her gaze. Again, she holds still and I see a hint of sadness reach through that mask of hers, and for once we're having a conversation without yelling at each other. I sigh, how did I screw this up so much?


	19. Enough

**Enough**

_Day 3 (Sukai Yuri)_

Have you ever imagined the ceiling as the floor? All the weird lines and arches make walking around seem tedious. The ceiling has the same design as the floor, and yet it's so fundamentally different.

I've become acquainted with many different ceilings over the years. The one in Shikamaru's grandparent's home was one of those popcorn ceilings. But the room itself is just a rectangle, nothing interesting to the shape at all…

I don't want to get up. Getting up means that I need to go see Shikamaru, and ever since he told me he was in my room I'm having trouble facing him. He knows exactly how I feel, or at least what I am reluctant to feel.

Just thinking back to dinner yesterday, it was almost as awkward as when I first met Shikamaru.

_"So Yuri what type of plant are you looking for? Shikamaru's letter didn't say." Shikazu, Shikamaru's grandfather asks me. _

_"I'm looking for a Caper bush." I tell him._

_He pauses for a moment to think, "They're technically scattered throughout the woods, but there's a cluster of them about an hours walk away. Shikamaru can show you where they are."_

_Then all of a sudden we hear choking noises and turn to Shikamaru."W-What?" He cleared his throat and pounded his chest a few times, "I don't even know what that is."_

_Shikazu doesn't hesitate, "Sure you do that bunch of bushes up north by the ravine." _

_"Oh."_

I should have figured that if Shikamaru brought me here, he would take me to the plant as well. I'm just getting so tired of arguing with him; I want us to just be on normal terms again.

Ever since I came back I've had to deal with so many different emotions and I'm starting to become overwhelmed. I just want my life to stabilize; it's been a rocky rollercoaster for far too long now.

Well I can't put it off anymore. I sit up, run my fingers through my hair and flatten my bangs. Just a few more days and I can start to put everything that happened between Shikamaru and me behind me. I should look at this as an opportunity to help me move on. We've argued about basically everything I can think of, there can't be much left to say.

Then I hear loud noises come from outside and I get out of bed to see what it is. When I reach the window I look down and see Shikamaru in casual clothes moving firewood. It's hard to believe how much you can change in 2 years, especially since in the span of your entire life 2 years is nothing.

But… Why was Shikamaru in my room? Disregarding the fact that he broke into my apartment, he still came on his own to see me. Does that mean he still has feelings for me?

He can't possibly after all these years. We both knew that my attachment to him was stronger than his to me. After all that was his excuse for breaking up with me. He was probably just curious, nothing else.

I take my time getting ready and when I have all my supplies I head down the stairs and prepare myself to come face to face with Shikamaru. Before I could though, Shikazu was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "Mind if we talk for a bit?"

I nod, "Sure."

Shikazu and I begin walking outside and he sits down on a bench on his porch. "So what exactly happened between you and my grandson?"

I guess I can't be that surprised that he knows about us, but why is he asking so out of the blue? "Well… What do you know already?" I question, trying to figure out how vague my response could be.

He seems surprised by my reluctance to answer, "I know that you two were pretty serious until you suddenly broke up."

So he knows the basic answer. "There's not much more to it. My dad was sick so I moved to be closer to him."

"Really? That's it? Being in the same room as you two is very toxic, there's obviously a lot of tension there." He starts and I continue to stand by, "Why don't you two just sort out whatever issues you have?"

My stomach churns, "It's not that simple…" No where near simple. "But Shikamaru and I should head out now. Thank you for your concern Shikazu-sama." I bow and head to the back of the house where Shikamaru was.

* * *

The walk to the bushes was pretty much silent aside from Shikamaru's constant yawning. Every few minutes I hear a yawn, whether it's small, large, or hardly there at all. After a while I started to even count the seconds in between yawns.

Fifty one. Fifty two. Fifty thre—

Yawn.

One. Two. Three. Four—

Yawn.

"Why are you so tired?" I question. All this constant yawning is starting to bother me.

He looks over to me as he's mid yawn. "I couldn't sleep." He tells me and covers his mouth.

I'm going to regret this but, "Why?"

"I was just thinking about… things." He says as he places his hands in his pockets.

I want to ask him to explain further, but it's probably smarter to just let it go. If I don't we'll end up arguing again.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Shikamaru inquires and looks over to me.

I look over to him and become distracted by his eyes for a moment, "I guess." I say and force myself to look away.

He takes a deep breath, "How long after your Dad died did you start packing?" He asks and I immediately regret saying yes.

Then I notice a bunch of bushes ahead, "Here's the Caper Bushes." I comment and start to look around for the best ones to extract and if there are any seeds around.

"Yuri, you didn't answer my question." Shikamaru persists.

I don't really want to tell him because he'll think I'm insane or something. So I find a good bush and start to dig it out.

Once I find the courage to say the words I respond, "… About five minutes after I heard."

He looks at me with wide eyes, "You're joking right?"

I sigh and shake my head, "No. I'm not." I realize how messed up that sounds as I say it.

"So then why did you decide to come back? Whatever it was, it was obviously more overpowering than the grief." Shikamaru questions me.

I don't particularly like how he's telling me what I feel, even if he may be right. I may be telling everyone the reason I came back was because Kohona is my home, but it feels like I've been saying that to try to convince myself that it's true.

I rip off a branch of the bush in frustration and push my hair out of my face. "I came back because—" of you, "—Kohona is my home."

"We both know that's not the real reason."

"Can you stop telling me how I feel?" I snap, "You may have known me two years ago, but not now. Not after all that's happened." I hope that sounded more convincing then it felt.

"How about I stop when you tell me the truth?" He retorts.

"What makes you think I'm not?"

"Because you're playing with your hair," I look at him dumbfounded and he continues, "it's your tell. When you're lying, you tend to curl your hair around your fingers."

I look down to my hands and sure enough, my fingers are curling my hair around them. "You say that as if you've known about it for a long time."

"How do you think I knew about my clock?"

_It was the last few days before I left the Nara house and I was heading to Shikamaru's room to sleep when I knocked over his clock and broke it. I went out to buy a replacement and decided on taking a shortcut through a park. As I was walking I noticed down a hill Shikamaru was sitting up, looking at something. _

_Forgetting my mission to replace the clock I began running down the hill to see him, but the closer I got the more momentum I picked up. So by the time I reached him, I slammed into his back instead of the hug I was intending on. "Boo!"_

_"Jesus!" Shikamaru had to brace himself, I nearly knocked him over. He turned his head to face me, "next time you do that get a running start, that didn't hurt nearly as bad as it should have." _

_I rested my chin on his shoulder with my arms around his neck, "Someone's cranky."_

_"I'm not cranky, I just don't take well to people body checking me from behind." He murmured, "What are you doing out anyways? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"_

_I released one of my arms from his neck and began to twirl my hair around my fingers, "I went to go pick up a book from the library." I lied._

_He looked down to my hair and then to my face, "What did you do?" He questioned._

_I blinked, "You mean aside from thinking about this—"I nuzzled his neck, fingers still twirling._

_Shikamaru grabbed my arm and pulled me forward, making it so I could see the front of his face when I looked back. "Yuri." He sounded like a father about to scold his child. _

_Because of the hill my entire body was leaning on him, using him for support. The last time we had this much body contact was when he hid me from his Dad under his sheets. "N-Nothing. I swear." I told him, trying not to think about the growing intensity in which my heart was beating._

_He noticed my expression and shifted his shoulders so he could pull me a bit closer, our faces inches away from each other. The heat in my face went from feeling like a hot day to having a high fever while in the middle of the desert. "I broke your clock!" I shouted and squeezed my eyes shut. _

_Shikamaru's grip loosened and he sighed, "Then why did you say you were getting a book?"_

_I opened my eyes, "I wanted to replace it before you noticed…" I explained._

_He lets go of my arm and I quickly wrapped it around his neck again, trying not to fall over. Then he reaches behind him and grabs my legs, lifting me into a piggy back as he stood up. "Let's go get me a new one." He said as he took a step._

_My eyes widened, "Shikamaru you're not going to—" But by then he was already half way down the hill and I was screaming my lungs out._

"It makes so much sense now…" I mumble.

"That's aside from the point, are you going to tell me the truth or not?" His tone of voice is so different from back then; now he just sounds cold.

I shake my head, "No. I'm not. So can you **please** just let me finish my work so can go back?"

Shikamaru turns around and starts to walk away, "Fine. Just shout when you're done." He spits out.

"Fine!" I shriek and rip out another branch.

* * *

_Day 4 (Nara Shikamaru)_

I'm staring at the ceiling, waiting until the last possible moment to get out of bed. After yesterday's argument with Yuri I don't want to deal with her today. Why can't she just tell me the truth? When my parents used to scream and yell during arguments I swore I'd never be like them (Well it was more like my Mom yelling and my Dad taking it). But now look where I've ended up.

I don't really need to see her until we leave. My grandpa asked me to do some chores around the house and the area, delaying our leave until tomorrow. Meaning I can do my chores all day while she's in her room. But there is the problem of dinner; I can't avoid her there.

I just can't stop thinking about the **bubble**. The bubble Yuri and I were in right after her accident where it was only the two of us. Sneaking around and secretly seeing each other made our feelings become so much more intense.

So then after she moved out and things were getting back to normal I started to question if how I felt was because of the bubble. My logic was that if it's not the bubble, then that means she's the one. But when she told me no at my door, it just felt like the bubble had burst and I had been wrong about everything.

For two years I managed to push those thoughts out of my mind and now it's all I can think of. Stupid bubble.

After a while I get up out of bed and get dressed. I might as well get the chores done early so I can relax in the evening. When I open the door to my/my dad's room, Yuri comes out of her room a second afterwards. We both flinch when we see each other and she immediately turns and heads to the washroom down the hall. After yesterday's argument I decide to turn the opposite direction and go to the washroom down the stairs. I definitely don't want to poke at a lion while it's half asleep.

After going to the washroom I find my Grandpa sitting at the living room table with a cup of tea in his hand. "Morning." He greets me as I walk over and sit down.

"Morning." I mumble.

"I forgot to ask, could you fill the deer feeders when you get the chance." Great, another chore.

"Sure." There's no use fighting it I guess. I only come out here a few times a year.

"Thanks." He says and drinks again. "Oh and did you know Yuri-chan still calls you Shikamaru?" Grandpa brings up as if it was an afterthought.

I look at him oddly, "What?"

"After breaking up and not talking for two years you would think you two would address each other formally now. Instead you two speak as if you are still close." He comments.

"Well I guess we still are a little." When you're as close to someone as Yuri and I was, I doubt there is any amount of time that could make you feel like strangers.

"A little? The way you two argue it's as if—" my grandpa stops himself.

"What? What were you going to say?" I have a feeling I know without him telling me.

He looks at me, questioning whether or not saying anything is a good idea. "It's as if you're still a couple." Why the hesitation in saying that? Did he expect me to freak out or something? "What exactly happened between the two of you anyways?"

"I'm sure Dad has told you most of the details." I avoid the question. If I won't even tell Choji what really happened, there is no way in hell I'm telling my Grandfather.

"He wasn't that detailed. It was my understanding that you didn't exactly tell him either."

I shrug, "There's not much to say, we were together and then we weren't."

"Both of you seem to be very evasive about the subject. I wonder what really happened…"

I lower my head, "You didn't talk to Yuri about this did you?"

"And if I did?"

I am suddenly very annoyed, "Grandpa, that was rude of you. You should have just left her alone. She's here for her research, not because she wants to be with me."

I'm not entirely convinced of that notion, but my constant thoughts about the bubble are starting to distort my views on the current Yuri. I need to be careful not to make any assumptions, especially since that's how we got into this mess.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." Somehow I doubt that, "I just think you two are a good fit for each other. Your Dad did as well."

"Dad said that?" Makes sense though, considering how much he pushed me towards Yuri after her accident.

"Yes, he said it reminded him of his relationship with Yoshino when they were first dating."

My eyebrow twitched. If that's how Mom and Dad were when they were dating, does that mean Yuri and I will end up like them? I shouldn't even be thinking about this, as of right now there is no Yuri and I.

"Well it doesn't matter what happened, I doubt she'll ever forgive me." I cross my arms across my chest.

"With that kind of thinking you'll never win an argument with her." He took a sip of his tea.

"It's not about winning." I try to loosen up my shoulders. All this arguing has made me so tense. "I just want her to open up. She's so guarded now."

He goes to take another sip of his tea, "You could always kiss her."

I glare at him, "You say that like it's that easy. But even if I did she'd probably just hit me."

"True."

* * *

It was dinner time and the tension between Yuri and I was worse than yesterday. She was still angry with me and was taking it out on her food.

"Something wrong Yuri-chan?" My grandma asks, very concerned.

"No, nothing Hanako-san." She asserts as she stabs her chop sticks into her salad.

"Yuri—" I start, but then she looks up from her food and glares at me with a glare which I swear is worse than the one my Mom gives my Dad. I look down and pay attention to my food, "Never mind."

"I'm sorry I'm being so rude," Yuri starts, "can I be excused?"

"Sure dear." My grandma tells her and she gets up. Then within 10 seconds Yuri is up the stairs and out of sight.

"You tried to kiss her didn't you?" Grandpa asks me as he reaches for the potatoes with his chopsticks.

I glare at him and move the potatoes out of his reach, "No I didn't… Can I be excused as well?" I stand up and leave, not really waiting for an answer.

I don't really know what it is about her, but whenever she tries to run I always feel as if I have to follow. That it's my duty to make sure she's okay, even if she gives me the worst death glare I've ever seen.

When I'm at the top of the stairs she gives me the same glare as before, "Shikamaru just leave me alone. I don't want to argue with you right now." She tells me and walks into her room.

I run up behind her and put my hand on the door, stopping her from closing it. "Can't we just talk? If the conversation turns to yelling you can shut the door in my face." I tell her, hoping she would listen.

She turns around and looks at me, grasping the door knob in anticipation. "Okay, talk."

I move in a little closer, but she backs off immediately. Looks like being close doesn't affect her like it used to. "I don't care so much about why you came back. I just want to know why you had to come back so quickly."

That's the one thing from yesterday's argument that is still bothering me. Why did she start packing immediately after her Dad died? Didn't she realize what she was doing?

Yuri's expression seems pained; I can tell she doesn't want to tell me. "I didn't see a point in staying." Her hand twists the doorknob back and forth nervously, "I never wanted to be there and my father was the only reason I was. I just… couldn't deal with it anymore."

"Deal with what?" I inquire.

She hesitates and her hand begins to move to her hair, but I grab it before it can. "Tell me the truth."

Yuri tries to jerk her arm free but can't break my grip. She looks me right in the eyes, "Let go." She commands and tries again to no avail.

I shake my head, "No. I want to believe that whatever you tell me right now is the truth." She is absolutely livid, but I have to do this. I can't stand the lies and half truths anymore.

We both stand still for a few moments and the silence is starts to become overwhelming. But she has to be the one to talk first. I have to wait for her to be ready, however long that may take.

After a few more seconds she looks down to the ground, her arm relaxing."Dealing with the façade. I thought that when my Dad died I could finally be upset and people wouldn't question it. But… I couldn't do it."

The truth; it's like music to my ears. "Why were you upset to begin with?"

When I ask this Yuri tries to pull back, but only manages to look away. "Do you really have to ask?" Her cheeks stained dark red.

Crap. Her expression says it all. I always thought I knew the extent of her feelings for me but perhaps they were more serious than I thought. Then again, if I already decided I wanted to marry her back then, did she as well? "I'm sorry." I tell her with the utmost sincerity. "I know in the past I've made mistakes that caused you so much pain, but I'm different now. Just give me a chance to show you that."

She shakes her head in disagreement, "Just because you're older doesn't necessarily mean that you're different. How do I know that in a month's time you won't just come up with another excuse and end it?"

Suddenly, this conversation has turned into one about our relationship. I guess it can't be helped after everything that's happened. However, the way she just phrased that sentence… Could the real reason she decided to come back be… me?

It wasn't the bubble. It wasn't the bubble at all. I was right to go with my gut two years ago. The way I feel isn't some infatuation due to circumstances, it's real.

"I won't." I moved in closer again, I never in my life wanted to hold her as much as I do now. "I promise." I let go of her arm.

I know to her this is an empty promise. I broke all the ones I made to her in the past and she has no reason to believe me. But this time I intend to keep this promise. I'd rather die before I break it.

She doesn't back away like I expect her too; she just stands still for a few moments. "I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do this." She tells me, pushing me out into the hallway and closing the door.

I blink dumbfounded. Was she waiting for me to let go of her the entire time? Then all of a sudden the door shifts a little and I hear a sliding noise followed by a light 'thunk'. I look down and see a shadow under the door; she must be leaning against it. I kneel down in front of the door, "Yuri I wasn't even yelling…" I sigh.

"Just go away." Her voice is muffled, it sounds like she's crying.

"I'm not going to leave." I sigh; convincing her I've changed is going to take a lot of work and consistency.

"Why not?"

"Because I care about you. I mean why else would I argue with you so much?"

She doesn't respond. How can I get through to her? Perhaps if I…

I make some hand symbols and perform a shadow jutsu. I push the shadow underneath the door and try my best to guess where in front of Yuri is. I manipulate the shadow and do some things to get her attention.

"Shikamaru, what are you doing?" I hear her say, and I make the shadow point towards the door.

After a few seconds the door starts to creak open and I see part of her face peek through. "Look, forget about what's going on between us right now." I start, "I just think that you need to stop avoiding your Dad's death. If we learned anything during your accident, its that you always try to bury things and it makes it impossible for you to move on."

Yuri turns her head and it looks like she's about to shut the door. I place my hand on the door and push it open, forcing her to back up. "W-what are you doing?"

"You are not shutting the door in my face again just so you can avoid this." If anything has changed about me since we broke up, it has to be my tolerance for Yuri's need to always avoid things. I'm tired of having to put up with this.

She puts her hands on my chest and starts trying to push me out, "Get out!" she screams, but I don't budge. After a few seconds she begins to cry and I pull her into my arms.

"L-let go!" Yuri keeps pushing against me and I hold on. I sigh. When I did this two years ago it was enough for her to concede immediately.

"Yuri." I say and a few seconds later she gives up. Her hands stay on my chest but she places her head down and lets the tears come out.

Finally.

I have to say, even though she's crying its pretty nice having her in my arms again. I never realized before how much she just seems to fit into me; like she's molded perfectly to complete me.

But there's something missing. If there is any indicator of how much I screwed up it's Yuri's resistance. I had to force her into a lot of this which makes me a little uncomfortable. She's become so closed off; I never thought she would be like this with me. She's so argumentative, it's troubling…

I need to figure out how I can get her to forgive me and to let me back in. I screwed her up and now I owe it to her to help her get better. Funny, this is exactly the same thinking I had when she had her accident. The only difference is now the one who hurt her is me.


	20. I've Missed You Too

**Chapter 20: I've Missed You Too**

_Day 5 (Sukai Yuri)_

Shikamaru's back. I've been staring at it for the past few hours and it seems like no matter how much time goes by I'm still in awe at how nice it looks. He's in his full ninja gear. It hasn't changed much in the past few years except for the fact that he seems to be carrying new pouches. I guess the old ones broke or couldn't fit something.

Since we left this morning we've been walking in silence. After everything that's happened the past few days I don't really know how I'm supposed to act around him. I mean, what **should** I do? We spent the past four days arguing with each other and talking about our issues, but now it feels like there's nothing else to talk about. Or at least I have nothing else that I want to talk about.

All of this has just brought up a whirlwind of emotions, emotions I haven't been anywhere near feeling in years. It feels like at any moment I'm going to burst out crying from all of this. For so long I wondered why everything happened the way it did, only to find out my Uncle orchestrated most of it and the rest was all Shikamaru's inability to step up.

But... And this is a big but. These have been some of the most interesting days I've had in the longest time. I'm actually having a hard time comprehending it. I don't understand how Shikamaru's presence is enough to make me feel like... I'm actually living my life. For so long I felt stuck and now it feels like I'm actually going somewhere. Actually doing **something**.

His stupid back. I let myself cry in front of him once, and it feels like I'm already forgiving him for everything.

I was going to complain some more mentally, but I trip on a stick or something and fall face first into the dirt. "Ow." I mumble into the ground.

Shikamaru immediately turns around and kneels down to me, helping me sit up. He touches me with no hesitation, something I wouldn't have been able to do. "Are you alright?" He asks. His quick reaction seeming a little too quick...

I nod, "Yeah, I'm fine." I confirm and go to stand up, but the second I put pressure on my right foot, pain shoots up and down my ankle.

I immediately lie back down, "You sure you're alright?" he asks again.

"Just give me like..." I pause to try to think up of a reasonable amount of time, "three days." So much for that.

Shikamaru sighs and walks around to my ankle to take a look. He takes off my shoe and I immediately pull my foot back, "W-What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He questions, somewhat sarcastically and grabs my foot, removing my sock.

He then tries to bend my ankle, but I pull it away the second he touches it. "How did you manage to twist it so badly?" He raises an eyebrow.

I point to the root I tripped on, "That's how." I explain.

He chuckles and looks around, "We should put a splint on it." He stands and grabs a few sticks from the ground and pulls out some bandages from one of his pouches.

I watch him as he wraps my ankle. He places the tape in such a specific way; I'm assuming he's done this a million times. It just seems like all he ever does is try to take care of me. Well, when he's not breaking my heart that is.

Once he finishes wrapping my ankle he stands up and holds his hand out for me to take. I quickly place my shoe and sock into my pack, but when I go to take his hand my stomach leaps and I hesitate. He sees this and reaches out to me anyways, taking my hand and lifting me to my feet. "Get on my back." Shikamaru orders me as he moves his pack to his side.

I shake my head, "No way. I distinctly remember the last time I did you ran down a hill the fastest you could."

"Just get on." He says somewhat irritated, "If you want to get back home at a decent time this is the only option."

I pout, "Fine." And I gesture for him to turn around. He turns and kneels down, making it easier for me to get on. My stomach leaps again, but this time I don't let it stop me and I wrap my arms around his neck, letting him lift my off the ground.

Shikamaru starts to walk and I try to concentrate on the dense forest around us. I know Kohona is supposed to be one of the hidden villages, but does it have to be so deep in the forest? I mean like, all the other ninja nations know where it is anyways, so what's the point? Or at least I think all the other nations know where it is…

I look down to the ground and I notice Shikamaru's shadow in the mix of sticks, leaves and soil. Then I realize he's not only carrying me, but both of our packs and pretty easily at that. I didn't realize he was that strong, wow...

"What are you thinking about?" Shikamaru suddenly asks out of nowhere.

"How strong you are." I answer him honestly.

He laughs, "Sort of comes with the job description."

"True." I say and look down to his ponytail.

I used to pull out his ponytail back in the day to annoy him. It was pretty funny since each time he would look at me like it was the first time I did it. Should I do it now? I mean he's sort of out in the open. There's no way he can stop me.

"Don't even think about it." Shikamaru tells me.

"Think about what?" I question.

"I hated when you did it two years ago and I still do." He says, not even referencing the elastic.

I smile a little, "I wasn't thinking about doing that at all." I tease.

"Sure you weren't," he comments sarcastically.

I change the subject, "So then, what about you has changed? I mean yesterday you were going on and on about how different you are and everything." It feels weird how openly I can talk about yesterday, but then again, that shadow jutsu he did yesterday was so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh. I can't believe that after all this time he still knows how to make me smile.

"I wasn't going on and on," he mutters under his breath. "Well I'm a jounin now for starters."

"So you go on more dangerous missions then before?"

"I wouldn't say more dangerous... I just have more responsibility."

"How annoying." I comment.

He nods, agreeing with me."I also do some work at the academy. Which is kind of ironic since when I was there all I wanted was to get away." Shikamaru continues.

I laugh, "Really? Didn't you used to sleep in class?" I ask, pretending not to know the answer.

"Yeah… I remember Iruka getting really mad. It was kind of funny actually," Shikamaru recalls. "What about you?"

I'm assuming Shikamaru means what is new with me. "Well…" I start, trying to think of what to say. "Instead of doing just research, I research and breed different plants now. It's mostly just herbs I deal with, nothing like the rare plants I used to look at." I explain, "Other than that, nothing else has really changed. All I would do in Suna is work and take care of my Father, which got more time consuming as he got worse."

There's a pause and Shikamaru readjusts his grip on my legs, "Last time we were out here you never let me say how sorry I am about what happened to your Dad." That's right, last time I cut him off. "Even though we had our differences, I would never want to wish that on anyone."

I rest my head on his, "It's too bad you two didn't get a chance to sort things out."

He nods, "Yeah."

After a couple of hours talking about the past two years, Shikamaru and I stop to camp for the night. He sets me down on the ground and walks across the empty clearing, placing his pack down. "I'm going to go get some stuff for the fire." He tells me and walks off into the forest.

And just like before he's going to sit on the other side of the fire. The past few days have only scratched the surface of our problems. I just never thought that I'd want him sitting next to me as badly as I want him to now.

When he comes back he throws a bunch of sticks on the ground in between his pack and me.

"Shikamaru." I say.

He doesn't look at me as he responds, "Yeah?"

"Can you sleep next to me tonight? With my ankle I don't think it's that good of an idea for you to be so far..." I lie. Well, probably it's not a lie. Just because I have ulterior motives doesn't mean my reasoning is wrong.

"Sure." He says another one word response and grabs his pack. He walks over to my left and places his bag next to me, then goes back to the fire.

After everything that happened yesterday, I feel like I owe him a proper answer to his question of 'Why did I come back?' I don't want to say it's because of him but the more we talk the more I realize it's true. I came back for him. He left me crying on the floor outside his apartment and I still came back for him. There must be something wrong me because anyone else in their right mind would have moved on.

"Shikamaru." I say again, getting his attention.

"Yeah?" He asks again, this time turning to face me. The second he does that it feels like all the air in my lungs has disappeared.

I take in a deep breath, trying to build up the courage to tell him. "I—" I look to the ground and start playing with my hair. "I need to tell you something."

"Another lie?" He says without hesitation.

I look down to my hand and pull it away from my hair. "Hey, I'm trying to tell you the truth here. Just give me a second to prepare myself."

Shikamaru's then drops the sticks he was holding into the fire he started and walked back over to me, sitting next to me. "What truth?" He asks.

"About why I came back," I start, pulling my knees up to my chest.

I expect him to come up with some witty come back but there is none. He's just waiting for my response. "I came back because yes, Kohona is my home, but it's more because—" I start but cut myself off. I've never actually said this out loud, not even to myself.

I came back because of him; because we have all this unfinished business. We never had that 'this is the end of our relationship' conversation. I don't want to be the girl that does all this stupid stuff for a guy but… He's kind of a great one.

"Because why?" Shikamaru asks after a few seconds.

I look over to him, my mouth ajar. I want to say why. I want to tell him what I just thought, but I don't think I'm ready to.

He senses my hesitation and turns to me, trying to grab my arms but I pull away. It seems like my automatic response now is so shy away from anyone's touch.

When I pull away he looks away, back to the fire and turns back to the way he was. "Yuri, you don't have to explain right now. If you don't want to, you don't have to."

I want to tell him. I want to talk to him like I used to, but I can't. So instead I remain quiet and grab a stick off the ground, drawing into the dirt. He stares at me for a few seconds and sighs, giving up and going back to the fire.

My eyes flicker to him at the fire. His back is really amazing.

* * *

_Day 6 (Nara Shikamaru)_

I feel unusually warm.

I open my eyes and look over to the source of heat and blink a few times to makes sure I'm seeing right. Yuri is holding onto my arm in her sleep, looking like it's the most natural thing in the world.

I was about to pull my arm out when she moves, readjusting her grip on my arm. When she's awake she's always so tense and guarded, but now she's so relaxed. It's hard to believe how much of difference there is in her demeanour.

Last night she was so close to telling me why she came back. I honestly think it was because of me, as bad that sounds. But is it really so bad if it's the truth? I mean look at how cute she is, holding onto my arm like this.

I become uncomfortable and try to adjust, but it causes Yuri to stir. Crap. Crap. Crap. I freeze as I watch her open her eyes and slowly register what's happening.

"Why are you so close to me? Am I dreaming again?" She asks me, half the words coming out jumbled.

I raise an eyebrow as she shakes her head and answers her own question, "No it can't be a dream. It feels too real." And yet, she is still holding onto my arm.

If she thinks she's sleeping, I'm going to use this chance to get out all of the things she would kill me for if I told her. Not to mention this is my chance to see exactly how much of her feelings for me she is suppressing.

With my free hand, I begin to play with her long hair. Ever since I saw she grew her hair out all I've wanted to do is mess around with it. "I like your hair longer. It looks nice." I comment.

"Try having long hair in a desert. It's not so nice then." She replies and hugs my arm a little tighter.

I laugh a little, "Then why grow it out?"

"Because Keisuke likes shorter hair." Yuri mumbles.

"Keisuke?"

"My Dad's apprentice. Well former apprentice. He like loved me or something."

The second she said loved I felt a pulling in my stomach. Urgh. The idea of Yuri with someone else feels so wrong. So much so when I try to say something all that comes out is: "_Oh_."

She doesn't hesitate in responding though, "don't worry. I only care about you." She turns to me, wrapping her arms around my chest. "I'm definitely sleeping right?"

My eyebrow twitches. If she didn't think she was sleeping then why did she just do that?

"If you were actually awake, would I do this?" I tell her and lean down, kissing her.

I know I'm evil and probably acting out of jealousy, but whatever.

When I pull away, she smiles and puts her hand on my neck pulling me back down. I guess she didn't like Keisuke. Or rather, doesn't like him anymore.

Then as we're mid kiss I feel her hand move from my neck to my hair. I pull away to stop her but by then it's too late and my hair falls down. She grins and holds the elastic band in the air like it's some sort of trophy, "You have no idea how much I wanted to do that yesterday!" She giggles.

I glare at her and grab it back from her, sitting up. "Isn't it about time you woke up?" I tell her and throw my pillow into her face.

I quickly fix my hair and I hide behind in a tree in the forest, so that she can 'wake up'. I should have known that was coming...

I grab some thick sticks and walk back to the camp, "Hey Yuri, are you awake yet? I got some new sticks for your splint; these should work better than the ones from yesterday." I lie. It doesn't really matter which sticks you use.

She sits up and touches her lips with her fingers, "I don't even remember waking up... weird..." She comments to herself and I put the sticks down beside her sleeping bag.

* * *

After a few hours of walking I put Yuri down to give my back a break. She's doing something with the plants she got, making sure they live or whatever and I'm just walking around in a circle drinking some water.

We're about ten kilometres outside Kohona so our time together is coming to an end. I don't know when I'll see her again, but I know the next time I do I don't want it to be because I'm jumping through her window.

I want to be with her. I want her to forgive me and for us to go back to how we were two years ago, but I know it's not that easy. I look over to her and god does she look gorgeous. If I want to be with her I need to take some steps; I need a plan.

I spend the next minute or so running over different scenarios in my head and it all returns to this one idea. To be with her I need to gain her trust. To gain her trust I need to be in her life for more than just one week. To be in her life for more than a week I need to have some semblance of a relationship with her, something more than just her escort.

So I need to be her friend.

"Yuri." I say.

She looks up from her plants, "Yeah?"

I take in a deep breath and think about what I'm going to say to her for a second. "Look I know we've been through a lot, but can we be friends?"

I look at her to gage her reaction. She doesn't seem super shocked, so I continue."Everything we've been through the past few days… It seems sort of a waste to go through all that just to end up not talking to each other again." I explain to her. There's a lot more reasons than just that, but that seems like the one she'd accept the most.

I expect her to take pause and think about it, or to try to evade the subject. But she immediately says, "Sure. I was thinking the same thing."

I smile. I need to show her that I'm not just going to leave her the second I get the chance to and this is the way. This is how we got together to begin with; we became friends and slowly got to know each other. All I need is for her to see how different things are now and she'll reconsider.

Hopefully.

* * *

"We're home," I tell her as I step into the Kohona gates. Carrying Yuri for so long is starting to make me a little sore. Thank god we're here.

"I would ask if you knew where I lived, but apparently you do." She comments, adjusting her grip around my neck.

I try to laugh it off, "Yeah, about that..."

She stops me before I can continue, "You don't have to explain. I sort of spied on you too."

"Really? When?" Interesting.

Yuri hesitates for a second before responding, "Well one time I went by the bench and you happened to be sleeping."

"Oh, well that's not too surprising. Nothing like what I did." While it's not surprising, it does mean she went out of her way to see me. Was that the only time or were there others?

"True… How did you even get up there? It's like four stories." She questions me.

"Oh well I just put chakra in my feet and—" I start to explain it to her but she cuts me off.

"So it's a ninja thing?"

I laugh and nod, "Yeah, it is."

"Figures. I haven't been around ninjas in so long. Everyone I dealt with in Suna was just normal people."

"Normal people? You say that like I'm a freak or something."

"Well you are. I mean you walk up walls." Yuri tells me and I furrow my eyebrows. I forgot how she can spin things around like this.

When we get to her building she reaches for the handle of the door. "Here let me put you down." I tell her and start walking to the side, but she shakes her head.

"Nooo. I can do it." She tells me and leans over so far I almost fall over.

"Sheesh! Watch it!" I say and adjust my balance, almost colliding into the wall. And yet she's still leaning over reaching for that god damn door knob.

"This is like the time with the clock. Just let me do this." I tell her and put her down.

"I can do it!" She says and uses me for support, walking over to the door and opens it.

I stare at her while she has the biggest grin on her face, like a toddler who learned he can stand. "This is _exactly_ like the clock." I tell her and hold the door open, only to have to a pick her up again after she takes two steps on her ankle.

_"What the hell did you do to this thing?" I ask her, looking at my mangled clock._

_"Uhm…" Yuri looks at the clock then turns to the new one, "Don't ask."_

_I roll my eyes and grab the box for the new clock, pulling at the tape. "I can do it." Yuri says and pulls the box out of my hands._

_I sigh and watch her as she attempts to lift the tape to no avail. "Here I can get it." I say and reach for the clock, but the second I do she pulls it out of my reach._

_"I can do it!" She says again and I glare at her, reaching for the clock again._

_Then out of nowhere she kisses me on the cheek, "What the—?" I raise an eyebrow at her and lower my hand._

_"Got it!" She says and pulls the tape off the box._

_"Jerk." I tell her while she has the biggest grin on her face._

* * *

At her apartment I lean forward so she can put her key in the slot and unlock the door, avoiding the need for her to reach for it. Once she opens it, she grabs the knob and turns it, pushing the door open.

I place her down on the couch and walk over to the refrigerator, opening up the freezer. I then pull out a tray of ice cubes and start preparing a cold pack. "Make sure to put the ice on for 20 minutes, then off for 20." I tell her.

Once I'm done I walk back over to her, and pull out a chair from the table. I place the chair beside the couch and gently rest her foot on the seat. I wrap the cold pack around her ankle and turn to her, "Tomorrow morning I'm going to come and look at your ankle. If it doesn't look any better we're going to the hospital whether you want to or not."

Her expression goes from tired to worried, "What?" I question.

She looks away from me, "Do you really think it's a good idea that you come tomorrow?"

Then it hits me. Just because we're friends again doesn't mean she wants to spend all her free time with me like she used to.

"I mean, just because you were stuck with me for six days, it doesn't mean that you have to come back. You shouldn't feel obligated to see me just because I got hurt." Yuri blurts out. So it's not that she doesn't want to see me, she's just worried I don't want to see her.

"Yuri, I'm not going to run away the first chance I get. I don't want to come by tomorrow because I feel obligated to; I want to come by because I want to. But if you don't want me to I won't." I explain to her.

She looks to the side, unsure. This is just like last night. One second she's close to telling me something, and then she gets afraid and stays quiet. So I go to stand up and put some distance between us, but the second I move away her hand reaches out to mine.

"Wait." I stop the second she says it. A feeling of hope slowly starting to make its way into my chest.

"My mind keeps telling me that I should tell you no, but..." She squeezes my hand and looks at me with an expression I know all too well.

"I've missed you too." I tell her and squeeze back.


	21. You're Crazy

**.**

**You're Crazy**

Its official, Shikamaru and I are friends again. We were friends, then together for a day, then apart for a bit, and then apart for a longer period of time and now we're friends. Again.

I'm crazy. I'm friends with my ex again and am absolutely crazy.

It's just… I can't stop thinking about what happened the day after our mission...

_I'm in the closet. I woke up, realized Shikamaru was coming and I ran to the closest hiding spot I could find that wasn't underneath the bed. Now Shikamaru is in my room, (how he got into my apartment I have no clue) and is looking at my empty bed._

_I don't even know why I'm hiding. Hiding from Asobi and Keisuke made sense back in Suna, but there's no reason for me to be doing this now. I hold my breath as I hear him walk from one side of my room to the other._

_Then after a few seconds, the door to the closet opens and I immediately recoil into the wall. "Yuri?" He asks and kneels down, coming face to face with me. _

_I wrap my arms around my legs and don't respond. He continues, "If you didn't want me to come you just had to say so." He starts to stand up again, but I stop him. My hand reaches for his like it did yesterday. Stupid reflexes._

_He looks at me for a second, my grip on his arm tightening. He sighs and gets in the closet beside me. "I didn't realize you liked to hide in closets."_

_"Well after you found me under the bed that one time, I changed hiding spots."_

_He chuckles, "So is this a new thing, or have you done this before?" He starts to fuss with the netting on his sleeve._

_"I used to do it all the time in Suna." I mumble._

_"So then why are you hiding from me?"_

_"Well… When I woke up and realized you were coming I –"_

_"—freaked out?"_

_"Yeah," I respond and rest my head on the wall. _

_There's a pause and I look out into my room. The light from the window is shining onto my clothes in the closet, casting a shadow over Shikamaru and I. It's funny how we're perfectly fine sitting in silence. You would think that after all that's happened it would be awkward, but it's no different than it was before we broke up._

_"And no one has ever thought to look in the closet before?" Shikamaru asks after a while._

_I shake my head, "Nope. I'm surprised you did actually."_

_"Well with that ankle, I didn't expect you to get that far." _

_"True."_

The fact that he not only found me, but knew exactly how I was feeling has to mean something right? He could have just left when he saw my room was empty but he didn't. It's beginning to feel a lot like after my accident, except now I'm not wearing his necklace and all he wants is to be is my friend.

But can I really just be friends with him? How long until I start wanting to be with him again? I feel like the way things are progressing it's inevitable. But he doesn't even want to be with me anymore, does he?

Urgh. I thought when he went on another away mission it was a good thing, giving me time to think, but the entire time all I've been able to think is 'I'm crazy'.

"Yuri!" I hear someone call my name as I collide into them.

They grab onto my shoulders to make sure I don't fall over. "I'm so sorry!" I apologize and look up to see, who else, Shikamaru.

"Do you randomly walk into other people too, or is it just me?" He sighs, his hands lingering on my shoulders.

I furrow my eyebrows, "Did you just get back?" I ask, changing the subject.

After a few more seconds he drops his hands and puts them in his pockets, "Yeah. I was actually just going to grab something to eat. You hungry?" He questions me.

I nod, "I could go for some food right now." If I'm friends with him, grabbing dinner with him is no big deal. We used to do this all the time when we were friends, so it makes sense for us to do this now. Right?

"'Kay, let's go then." He starts walking ahead of me and I quickly run to catch up.

"Where are we going to eat?" I ask, looking at him. He looks tired, must have been a long day.

"BBQ? I haven't been there in a while." He comments.

"I went by there the other day and it was gone."

"They moved like two streets over."

"Figures—" I start to say, but as we're passing the book store, someone shouts Shikamaru's name.

We both turn to see Shiho coming out of the store with a handful of books. "Oh hey Shiho," Shikamaru waves as she comes up to us.

When Shiho realizes we are walking together her face flushes. "I didn't know you two knew each other." She stammers.

"Yeah, we've been friends for a while now." Shikamaru explains.

Friends for a while now? Is that how you describe everything that's happened between us?

"Oh, just friends?" Shiho tries to confirm, her voice a little shaky.

Wait a second. I recognize that shakiness. That's the way I used to get when I would talk to Shikamaru back in the day. She likes him.

She. Likes. Shikamaru.

Suddenly I feel this rush of anger flood through me. My stomach tightens and my hand turns into a fist from all the tension. I turn, trying to hide my face because I have a feeling whatever I'm feeling right now I'm not hiding very well.

Shikamaru nods, "Yeah we were just going to grab a bite to eat." He says very definitively as a statement.

"I was just about to head to dinner actually. Mind if I join you?" Shiho asks, a little unsure.

"Yuri?" Shikamaru turns to me and I put on a fake grin.

"I don't mind." I lie. I mind a lot, but it would be rude to say no.

All of a sudden by mind flashes to Mitsuyu and how she reacted to when I would do something she didn't like. I'm not acting like her am I? No... She would have said no outright; at least I have the decency to lie.

"So how do you two know each other?" Shiho asks as we begin to walk towards the restaurant.

It's obvious that both she and Shikamaru want me to answer, but I keep my mouth shut. I don't think there's any way for me to say something without it sounding mean and/or condescending. After a few seconds Shikamaru responds."Well we knew each other since we were kids, but only really started talking when she moved in to my house for a few months."

I can't believe she likes him. We haven't really gone into specifics about what's happened to us in the past two years (and quite frankly, I prefer not to) so I can't be **that** surprised something like this has happened. It's just… it bothers me **so** much. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

"Why did you have to move in?" She questions. I know she's trying to be polite, but every time she opens her mouth I want to snap it shut.

"My Dad went to work in Suna for a bit and I had nowhere else to go." I answer as calmly as I can. "What about you two, how **do** you know each other?" That sounded mean. I hope they didn't catch that.

"We met when we had to decipher a message Jiraya-sama left behind." Shiho responds quickly.

"Oh so you're just work friends?" I know I'm trying to belittle their relationsh— Urgh, even saying _relationship_ makes me sick.

"You could say that I guess."

We arrive at the restaurant, and a waitress leads us to a booth. But as we get there it becomes painfully obvious to me that only one of us can sit next to Shikamaru. Before I could do anything though, Shiho manages to make her way around me and steal the coveted seat the second he sits down.

My eyebrow twitches slightly; how did she do that?

I sit down on the other side of the booth and the waitress places some menus down on the table, heading off to deal with some other customers. I already know what I'm going to order but I grab one and open it up so I can stealthily look over at Shiho and Shikamaru. Shiho is flipping through her menu and Shikamaru is leaning back against his seat looking at the ceiling.

I wonder if he knows how Shiho feels about him. I'm pretty sure he knows since he's more observant than I am and I noticed in two seconds. Then again, I feel like I only noticed because she's acting similar to how I used to.

Shiho then closes her menu and reaches across the table to grab her chop sticks, but when she does her elbow grazes Shikamaru's. Oh that bit—

"Are you ready to order?" The waitress comes out of nowhere and interrupts my thoughts.

I nod and order my usual, expecting Shikamaru to do the same, but he orders beef instead of chicken (something else that's new). But then my stomach explodes when Shiho orders the same thing as Shikamaru; of course she would do that, why would she not?

I need to get out of here and calm myself down. How am I supposed to have dinner with her if I get mad at every single thing she does? As much as I don't want to leave them alone, I feel like this is my best option. "Where's the washroom in here now?" I question Shikamaru.

"It's by where we came in. Just head back there and you'll see it." He tells me, propping his head up on the table with his arm.

"Thanks." I smile wide. Purposely mind you.

Once I'm in the washroom, I enter a stall and lean against a wall, trying to calm myself down.

Based off the way I feel it's pretty obvious to me that I still like Shikamaru. But do I really like him, or the idea of him? We haven't spent enough time together for me to really see how he's changed. The only obvious things are he likes beef and he got a promotion at work.

This whole Shiho thing just bugs me. The first time I met her in the library she seemed pretty nice. I feel bad that I have this automatic hate for her now, but… I can't help it. Every time she does something that even remotely involves Shikamaru I freak out.

God. I'm not used to being jealous. Two years ago when Mitsuyu was dragging Shikamaru around everywhere it didn't bother me at all. Maybe it's because back then I _knew_ nothing would happen and now I'm wondering if something _has_. The idea of Shikamaru being with other girls during our time apart kills me. I just can't stand it. I can't.

I sigh; I've must have been in here for a few minutes now. I should get back and watch her ogle him. But before I go, I need to take in a deep breath and say it out loud.

"I still like Shikamaru." Wasn't it just an hour ago I was thinking this? I thought that overtime I'd eventually develop a crush on him like before, but it seems Shiho has just exacerbated the whole situation.

"I still like Shikamaru." I repeat. A few months ago just thinking his name was taboo and now I'm in a restaurant eating dinner with him and getting jealous because another girl likes him. I never thought in a million years something like this would happen.

I still like Shikamaru. I may still even love— No. There's no way after all this time I could still love him. Besides the Shikamaru I love may not even exist anymore. I just need to be careful to be his friend and not let myself get so deep in again.

Correction, I need to be careful and just stay his friend because I **am** so deep in.

I sigh and head back to the booth, but pause right before it to hear what Shiho and Shikamaru are talking about. "So you and Yuri are really just friends?"

There's a slight pause, as if Shikamaru was debating what to say. "Well we used to go out, but we're just friends now." My heart drops to the floor. I've been saying this to myself all week but hearing him say it just makes me want to cry.

Before Shikamaru says anything else I walk over to my side of the booth and sit down. I sigh and pick up my chop sticks, grabbing some of my food and placing it on the grill.

"Yuri?" I hear Shikamaru say.

My head perks up, "What?"

"I asked what's wrong." He says; I must not have been paying attention.

"Nothing." Nothing aside from the fact I realized I still like you, and you just told Shiho we're were _just friends_.

Then he gives me that look he used to give me all the time. The sarcastic 'Really?' face with the arched eyebrow. "I know that sigh. That sigh wasn't nothing."

My breath gets caught in my throat. He still knows my sighs. "I swear it was nothing." I reply, trying not to melt.

"Sure it was." He mumbles and takes a bite of his food, dropping the subject.

Sometime later Shiho asks me, "How is your work Yuri? I always kind of thought that botany was really cool."

I try to be polite, "it's good. After the mission Shikamaru and I went on, I've been trying to cross pollinate this plant with some of the herbs we have in Kohona to see which combination works the best." I purposely made sure to mention the mission that _Shikamaru and I_ went on.

"Oh? I didn't realize your work involved ninjas."

"It doesn't, but usually I get ninja escorts because of well," I point to the scarf on my neck covering the scar, "you know." I tell the truth, kind of regretting it.

"Yeah I heard about that. What exactly happened?" Shiho inquires and my eyes flicker over to Shikamaru. He's looking at me, waiting to see what I say.

"Uhm, well," I stammer, "I was travelling back here from Suna with this very rare herb. And some ninjas, I don't really know where they're from, attacked us." For a brief instant his face flashes before my eyes. _You deserve this_, repeats in my head as I continue, "One of them slashing my throat."

"Us?" Of course out of everything I said she picks up on the '_us'. _I look at Shikamaru again, seeing if he wants me to tell her.

"She means Ino, Chouji and I." He tells her, elbows on the table and fingers laced.

Her eyes go wide, "You were there?"

"Yeah," he scoffs, "it was kind of my fault." He looks to the side, trying to hide his expression.

I feel my heart break. My entire body becomes heavy; from my head, to my hands and all the way down to my feet. "How many times do I have to tell you it's not your fault?"

He shakes his head, "No, it is. I should have thought things through better but because you were there my judgment was clouded."

I don't want to be talking about this now in front of Shiho. I can tell by her face she's beginning to feel like she shouldn't be in this conversation. But by the tone in his voice it sounds like he's thought about this quite a bit. I can't imagine how he must feel…

"But you were also the reason I survived."

"Ino is the reason you survived, if she hadn't had started healing you right away—" He starts but I repeat myself.

"**You** were the reason I survived." The only reason I made it through all that was because he was there with me. I wouldn't have been able to otherwise.

He smiles faintly, and takes a bite of his food. "I still think it's my fault." He murmurs and I sigh.

"I'm going to go to the washroom…" Shiho speaks up, her eyes shifting back and forth between Shikamaru and I. As much as I don't like her, at least she has the decency of ejecting herself from a conversation she shouldn't really be in.

Once she leaves the booth, both of us are silent. He's looking down at the table chewing some food while I look out into the restaurant. I take in a deep breath and try to think of something to say, but my mind is blank.

As if sensing our tension the waitress comes back handing us our bills. "Thanks," Shikamaru says and pulls out his wallet.

I should follow his cue and look at my bill, but instead I watch him reach inside his wallet for some cash. And it's a good thing I did too because then I saw **it**. My eyes widen and I blink a few times to make sure what I'm seeing is real. "You still have a picture of me in your wallet?" Melting. I'm officially melting.

He looks at me like I caught him doing something bad. "Oh this?" He pulls it out nonchalantly, "I just never took it out of my wallet. You can have it back if you want." He tries to hand it to me.

I should take it from him. If I'm _just_ his friend now I should take it, put it in my pocket and never speak of this again. But I don't want to do either of those things; I want him to keep it and have a reminder of me.

"Thanks." Even though I want to know why he has what looks like a new wallet, he hasn't once in the two years we were broken up gotten rid of my photo, I take it, but I don't pocket it just yet.

"It's not your fault." I say for the millionth time.

He smiles a weak smile, "It is." The last time he looked this guilt stricken was the first time I kissed him. But now I can't make his feelings go away like before, I have to sit here and look at him obviously in pain.

Shikamaru looks at me and cringes, "Don't cry."

I shake my head, trying to fight the tears. "I'm not going to cry." I say more to myself, than to him. "We need to get past this. We can't let this define what we are to each other."

"And what are we exactly?"

Funny, I remember asking the very same question to him.

"I don't know." I tell him honestly.

We stare at each other and all the noise and distractions from the rest of the people in the restaurant become drowned out. I have a feeling the second I tell him how I feel, most if not all of our problems will go away. But I've been keeping my feelings to myself for so long I don't even know if I'm capable of telling him.

I need to at least give it a shot. "Shikamaru I—," I start.

"Oh the bills came?" Shiho comes back at the worst possible moment.

I avert my gaze and look at the picture of me still in my hands. It's from before I cut my hair a few years ago. Figures, he keeps the one with the long hair; I think he preferred it. The one thing that sticks out to me though, is the fact that my neck is scar free. The Yuri in this picture had no idea what was coming… I kind of feel bad for her.

Then I reluctantly pocket the photo, look at my bill and act like none of it never happened.

* * *

"So I'm headed this way." Shiho stops in the middle of an intersection and points to the right. After we paid our bills and left Shiho and Shikamaru have been talking about the books she got from the book store.

"We're headed this way," Shikamaru points in the direction we were walking. I couldn't help but smile when he said '_we're_'.

"Alright, bye Shikamaru. Bye Yuri." Shiho waves and walks off.

The second she is out of sight, we continue walking in silence. It's like we both know the conversation is going to go back to my accident and neither of us want it to.

Shikamaru stops and leans against a wall of a building, waiting for me to stop. "What is it?" I ask him, knowing perfectly well.

"You telling me it's not my fault over and over is not going to change my mind." He goes right to it.

"But it's not." I sigh. "We both knew the risk of taking the Phresdena to Kohona. If anything…" _You deserve this_. "I deserved it. If I hadn't had cut his face he wouldn't have done it."

He becomes visibly angry, "How could you even _dare_ to think you deserve what happened to you?" The tone in his voice was serious. The most serious I've ever heard him actually.

"How can you think it's your fault?" I retort.

He lets out an exasperated sigh. "I can't believe you. I suppose you think that the attack on Kohona was your fault too?"

I wasn't in Kohona for the attack, and when I heard about it I freaked. I didn't know for months if Shikamaru was alright or not. "Well obviously that wasn't. But the attack on me was. "

He shakes his head and takes a few seconds to calm down. "Fine, how about this: if you stop thinking you deserved it, I'll stop thinking it's my fault." He settles, holding out his pinky to swear on it.

I pout, how is a pinky swear supposed to resolve the issue? There's no guarantee that he would stop thinking it, and no guarantee I would either. So is he just saying this to get me off his back?

"Come on Yuri. I swear I'll stop thinking it. You've just got to trust me." He adds.

"And you trust me?" I look up to him, trying to gage his reaction.

I expect him to waver, think it through, but he responds immediately, "I do."

"Fine." I link my pinky with his, "And I never want to hear anything about this again."

"Ditto." We both smile and let go of each other's pinkys, continuing to head home.

"Oh hey, you really don't like Shiho do you?"

I purse my lips, "What makes you say that?" I didn't think my jealousy was that obvious.

"Just an observation." He comments, not going into detail.

"What? Something I said?"

"No, not really. I just noticed you got angry. A lot."

"I did not."

"Liar."

"Name one time."

"When Shiho sat next to me." He waits for a response but I have none. So he continues, "Or when she touched my elbow. Or how about—"

"Okay I get it!" I glare at him and he laughs this light almost airy laugh.

"Just say it; you want to know whether or not I'm interested in Shiho."

I feel my face go red and I try to hide it. The corner of his mouth tugs up; he knows full well how I feel about this. "Shiho is not the one I'm interested in, so you have nothing to worry about."

I have to ask, "So nothing has ever happened... between you two?"

"Has anything ever happened between you and Keisuke?" He deflects.

I shake my head and respond immediately, "No." In fact just the idea of something happening feels wrong.

"Nothing has happened between Shiho and me either." He answers; shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal.

A wave of relief washes over me. I can finally breathe.

"Wait a second. How do you know about Keisuke?" I don't ever remember mentioning him to Shikamaru.

He looks away immediately, "You brought him up on the mission. I don't remember exactly when it was." He tells me.

"Okay..." I say. Something's not right here.

"Anyways, another thing we still haven't dealt with is how you refuse to tell me how you really feel about the whole, us thing." He changes the subject.

We reach my apartment building and I stop in front of the door, "I was going to tell you in the restaurant, but then…" Stupid Shiho.

He walks up to me and puts his hand in the crook of my neck, gently pulling at my scarf. "No rush, okay? I'm not going anywhere, so take as much time as you need."

"The way you say that sounds like you already know." I stand very still. It's hard to concentrate when he's touching me.

He smiles and leans forward, kissing the top of my head. "Just tell me when you're ready." His hand slides down to mine and for a brief second it's like we are holding hands.

"Oh and one last thing, isn't your birthday in a few weeks?" He asks.

I nod, trying to formulate words after that kiss. "It is," is all that manages to come out.

"Any plans?"

I shake my head, "No."

"Good, keep it that way." He tells me and then starts to walk away, "See you later." He waves.

I wave back, "See you." I sigh. I just let him kiss my head and play with my scarf.

I'm totally crazy.


	22. So Much Better

.

**So Much Better**

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" I ask, "I mean, last time I was in a forest I tripped and sprained my ankle. And that was when I wasn't blindfolded."

"All you do is complain, holy crap." Shikamaru tells me, his grip on my hand tightening a little.

It's my birthday and Shikamaru has blindfolded me, taking me to a 'secret' location. So far from what I can tell by the smell of trees and the sounds of crumpling leaves/branches we're outside of Kohona in some forest. Which isn't all that helpful considering Kohona is surrounded by forests.

"Well when you wake me up at five am, all I really feel like doing is complaining." I tell him, trying to concentrate on my footing.

"I told you, we need to get there before nine, and at this rate we're not going to make it."

"We could make it if you took this blindfold off." I point out.

"The blindfold stays on." He confirms.

"Fine," I mumble.

Because of the blindfold Shikamaru and I have been holding hands for the better part of two hours. Which is awesome, but I would still prefer to know where I'm going, or why it's taking hours for us to get there.

"Can't we just take a break?" I complain, starting to drag my feet.

"No breaks." He tells me, "You used to wake me up at this time. I don't get why you're complaining."

I feel a twig snap under my left foot, "Yeah but that was when I wasn't sleeping during the night. Now I sleep fine." Well except for last night anyways.

"I told you to get to sleep early."

"I didn't think you meant **that** early." I yawn, covering my mouth with my free hand.

"Jesus. Just another twenty minutes."

"I thought you said we weren't going to make it for nine."

"I thought you said you were going to be quiet."

"I never said tha—" I start, but trip over a root on the ground and fall into Shikamaru's back. I grab a bunch of his shirt, trying to regain my balance. "See! This is _exactly_ what I was talking about."

He sighs and turns around, helping me to stand back up. "You need to calm down." He says and moves some hair out of my face.

When he touches my face I bite my lip. "You need to let me see." I tell him.

He laughs a little and takes my hand again, pulling me forward. "20 more minutes."

* * *

We stop walking and Shikamaru let's go of my hand. "We're here." He tells me and I start to raise my arms to take off the blindfold. But before I can, Shikamaru grabs onto my arms and puts them back down. "Let me."

There's a pause and suddenly I feel this weight on my body, urging for me to lurch forward. And even though I'm blind I _know_ that Shikamaru is standing in front of me, not even two inches away. I feel his hands on the back of my head as he starts to untie the blindfold, but once it's untied he doesn't remove it right away.

I feel like he going to kiss me. If he did I don't think I would mind so much. "Close your eyes." He tells me and pulls off the blindfold. He walks around me and puts his hands on my shoulders, "Okay, open them."

I slowly open my eyes and let the light shine into them. "Gah…" I cringe and block the sun with one hand.

After a few seconds of squinting the scene around me starts to come into focus and I feel Shikamaru's grip tighten, "Now don't freak out." He whispers into my ear.

Once my eyes are fully adjusted I look in front of me and I come face to face with not just one, but about ten deer in a small clearing. My mouth drops and I back up into Shikamaru.

He laughs and pulls me closer to him, "I told you not to freak out." He repeats and a deer comes closer. Shikamaru then grabs my hand and holds it up to the deer, letting it pet itself under my hand. "See, they like you."

I guess we're on land Shikamaru's clan owns, but I thought that it was restricted only to family members. How did he convince them to let me on it if this wasn't work related? I try to think of what to say but the only thing that comes to mind is, "This is why you needed to wake me up at five am?"

He immediately drops his head and rests it on my shoulder, "I show you this amazing thing and all you do is complain."

"Yep."

Shikamaru lets out an exasperated sigh. "I've rubbed off on you too much." As he says this, he subconsciously rubs his right hand up and down my arm. The irony is not lost on me.

"Yep." I repeat.

He laughs and lifts his head, "Well this is the only time of day I could guarantee the deer would be here."

I turn and face Shikamaru, "It's amazing." I tell him.

He smiles and for the first time today I notice what he is wearing. He is in a black t-shirt and his usual pants, but the only thing I really see is his ripped arms staring me right in the face. Holy crap.

But as we're standing the there the deer start to circle around him. I never thought in a million years I'd see how he is with the deer. His parents already made it seem like it's this huge secret that only people in the family knew.

He smiles and pats one on its side. Then he grabs my hand again and starts to walk into some trees, out of the clearing. "Where are we going?" I ask, holding onto his hand as well. As we turn around a thick bush of trees I freeze the second I see it, causing Shikamaru to stop with me.

We're at the top of a mountain and the view goes on for miles and miles. Shikamaru laughs and pulls me closer to the edge. This feels like one of those scenes you see once in a lifetime. I take in deep breath of the cool mountain air; so fresh it's absolutely amazing.

"Now don't tell me you're going to complain about this." Shikamaru says and sits down leaning back on his hands.

I sit down beside him, debating whether or not to put my hand on his, but decide against it. "I don't think anyone can complain about this." I breathe in more of that intoxicating air.

He smiles and lies back, putting his hands behind his head, "The perks of being a Nara."

"What, are you trying to recruit me?" I ask him half joking, half serious.

He laughs a little, but never responds. I look down the mountain and try to burn this image into my mind, knowing that I would soon forget its amazingness.

I can't believe that Shikamaru would bring me here to see this. Old Shikamaru wouldn't have thought this was interesting or amazing. I bet he would have said something like: 'who cares what angle you see the forest from? It's still filled with annoying bugs and animals that want to eat you.'

"What are you thinking about?" I turn over to Shikamaru and see he's looking at the sky.

"I was just thinking about how you would thought this was boring a few years ago." I start to fidget with my hands, feeling the bones in one hand with the other.

"Yeah, but I'm more interested in the fresh air up here. Breathing this air and looking at the clouds really makes you feel like you can float away with them."

I look up to the sky; the clouds today are full, and fluffy. I take in another deep breath, "Yeah I can see that." I tell him and we just lay there staring at the clouds with the deer for who knows how long.

After the deer continue on their way, Shikamaru sighs and gets up, walking over to a tree. "Time for some food." He reaches behind the tree to grab a string on a pulley. Once he starts to pull down on the pulley a basket drops down right in front of him.

"You made food?" I look at him in disbelief as he unties it.

"Kind of. Most of it is takeout." Since that basket was here already that means he had to make a trip out here before picking me up. Wow.

I laugh and walk over to him, "Of course." I hold out my hands and he gives me the blanket from the basket.

The blanket is cool, and I shiver a little when I open it up. He must have some ice packs in there. I place the blanket on the ground and smooth it out, "So is this all you have planned for my birthday or is there more?" I question.

He places the basket down on the opposite side of the blanket and starts to pull out the food. "There's more." He tells me.

I sit down and move my hair to one side, a move he seems to notice. "Shikamaru Nara. Mr. I'm-too-lazy-to-pick-up-a-pencil-to-write-my-test."

He laughs, "That was eight years ago." He hands me a box of sushi.

"Ok. I suppose you have kind of changed in the past eight years." I open up the box and take out the chopsticks.

"In the past two years." He corrects me, "At least."

I smile and pick up one of the sushi rolls, putting it in my mouth. "So," Shikamaru starts, "I know we have been avoiding this, but tell me about Suna. From start to finish."

I tense up, and swallow the food in my mouth. "Uhm, there's not much to tell." I say and open up the bottle of water Shikamaru laid on the blanket for me.

He cringes a little, "That bad?"

I look to the side, avoiding eye contact. "Well I wouldn't call it bad, just… not good. I mean like, for the two years I was there, I only really knew a few people outside my family. It's not like I had much."

"What about Keisuke? You said he liked you didn't you?"

"Yeah he did. Or rather does but—" Wait a second.

_"Keisuke?"_

_"My Dad's apprentice. Well former apprentice. He like loved me or something."_

_Shikamaru paused, "__Oh__." He seemed bothered by the fact Keisuke likes me._

_"Don't worry. I only care about you." I reassured him and wrapped my arms around his chest. "I'm definitely sleeping right?" _

_"If you were actually awake, would I do this?" He told me and leaned down, kissing me._

"You!" I throw whatever was in my hand at him, which happened to be the open bottle of water. "You kissed me!" I scream.

He blinks a few times and wipes the water off his face, "What are you talking about?" He tries to deny it.

I crawl over to his side of the blanket and start to hit him in the arm over and over. "You kissed me! On the last day of the mission, I told you about Keisuke and then you kissed me!"

"Calm down!" He grabs my arms and restrains me like it was nothing. "Besides you kissed me back." He reminds me.

"Yeah because I thought I was dreaming!" I shout, only realizing the implications of what I said, afterI said it.

"So you dream about kissing me?" He questions and my face starts to become hot. Very, very hot.

"That— That doesn't change the fact that you took advantage of me while I was half asleep!" Well I wasn't exactly sleeping. I was awake, but I wanted it to be a dream so I convinced myself it was.

"I wouldn't call that taking advantage of you, especially when you took that opportunity to pull out my elastic." He tells me, his hands still gripping my arms tightly.

I pout and try to pull my arms free, "Were there any other times you did that then?" I whisper. I feel so embarrassed asking, but I have to know.

He laughs and lets me go. "No there was no other times that I kissed you in your sleep."

I cross my arms and look away, trying to get the blush on my face to subside. "Just don't do it again okay?"

"Fine, from now on every time I kiss you I promise to make sure you're one hundred percent awake for it."

Well that didn't help the blush subside.

I wrap my arms around my legs and lower my face into my knees, "Why do you say stuff like that?" I think I'm blushing so hard that I might pass out from the sudden blood rush to my head.

Shikamaru kneels in front of me, lifting my head up to look at him. He looks so… content. He just managed to snake out of me that I dream about him and he seems happy about it. "I see you still blush really easily." He comments, his right thumb lightly stroking my jawline.

I get up and hit him, "And I see that now you're manipulative, scheming and don't like to use doors!" I yell at him, hitting him over and over again.

He turns and waits for me to stop hitting him, "Are you done?" He asks.

I hit him one more time for good measure, "Okay, now I'm done."

"Good." He says and grabs his bottle of water, opens it and pours it all over me.

I look at him, mouth agape and all he has to say is, "It's only fair, you did it to me."

So of course I try to hit him again, but when I do he grabs me and pushes me down to the ground, getting on top of me. Now there's not even three inches between us and the atmosphere goes from playful to serious in a second flat.

Both of us are silent, and all I can hear is the chirping of birds and rustling of trees around us. He looks down to my neck, sees the ribbon around it and starts to untie it. If it was anyone else, I'm sure I would stop them immediately, but even after all this time Shikamaru is the only one I will let touch my neck. Once he pulls the ribbon away he looks at the scar on my neck and sighs. He runs his thumb over the raised edges of it, examining it.

Then, he tilts my head back and lowers his. The second I realize what he's doing I grab onto his shoulders, bracing myself. His lips lightly touch my scar and I tighten my grip, my nails digging into his skin. But it doesn't seem to faze him as his lips stay on me and after a few seconds he lifts his head to look into my eyes.

The second he does, I swear my heart skips a beat.

He runs his fingers through my hair and leans down, hesitating just before our lips touch. The only thing I can hear now is my heart pumping harder and louder with each beat. This is just unbearable, waiting for him, but I'm frozen. My body is telling me to lift my head and I can't.

After a few ragged breathes, he asks me, "You're one hundred percent awake right?"

I feel like I can't breathe. Every breath I take is so shallow; the only way I know I am breathing is by how painful it is. I nod, "One hundred percent."

Then without any more pause his lips touch mine, so softly it's as if he's not even kissing me at all. I don't think we've ever kissed like this before. All our other kisses were always either quick or needy and desperate. But this… this is longing. This is savouring. This is…

My eyes start to burn as I feel the tears gush out of them and the second Shikamaru notices he pulls back. "Why are you crying?" He asks, bewildered.

I hug him tightly; "I… I..." I try talking but the sobs make it impossible.

He sighs and wraps one arm around me, then rolls to the side, turning me with him. He then grabs onto me with his other hand and he holds me, waiting for the tears to subside.

I bury my head into his chest, something I haven't gotten the chance to do in years. His smell starts to overpower my senses and I feel this overwhelming sense of nostalgia. Even though the month after my accident was one of the worst months of my life, it was also one of the best. Knowing that every morning I got to see Shikamaru was so comforting.

After a while I speak up, "Shikamaru," I look up to him and we share another savouring kiss.

"What is it?" He asks, gently rubbing my back.

"Are we together again now?" My voice croaks, adjusting to speaking again after all that crying.

He furrows his brow, the mood suddenly ruined. "What is it with you and definitions?" He pauses, "Do you want to be together?"

I want to say yes, but when I try to speak nothing comes out. I sit up and cover my face, trying not to start crying again. He sits up as well, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Yuri we don't have to if you don't want to. Just because we kissed—" He starts but I cut him off.

"I want to, I want to but…" My stomach rumbles and I suddenly remember how hungry I am. I haven't eaten since Shikamaru woke me up this morning and I wouldn't even call that a meal. He gave me a sandwich and said 'Eat it on the way', which when you're blindfolded is a pretty hard thing to do.

Shikamaru turns back to the food and grabs his bento, "Why don't we just eat? We can talk about this later."

I nod and wipe my face. "Okay." I walk over to my side of the blanket, picking up my food.

* * *

After we had eaten we started to head back to Kohona and even though we had kissed we continued on like it never happened.

"So Kyori she had to be one of my better friends in Suna. We worked together pretty closely and not to mention she was the only one that didn't make it seem blasphemes for not liking Keisuke." I grab my neck to cover it up as some people pass by. After what happened earlier my ribbon seemed to have disappeared.

Shikamaru laughs, "Okay you have got to tell me about Keisuke. I got to know what my competition is like."

I shake my head, a small smile on my face. "Fine. Keisuke is two years older than me, brown hair, brown eyes, is probably around your height and is overall a nice guy."

"Ouch. _A nice guy_." Shikamaru comments.

I give him a look and continue, "He knows about you. Well actually he kind of hates your guts. You shouldn't be in the same room as him any time soon. But you know, he cares about me. He put up with a lot of my crap: the avoiding, the rudeness… just a lot." Keisuke didn't really deserve how I treated him, but my heart has been set on Shikamaru. It always has.

"Can we stop? I'm tired of all this walking." I comment and Shikamaru nods. We were in Kohona and nearing our bench so I start to head there.

As we're walking up those familiar steps, Shikamaru looks at me oddly and I raise an eyebrow. But when we reach the top I realize he was looking at me that way because on the bench there's a box with a dark red ribbon on top of it. I turn to him, "You planned this all out?"

"Told you there was more." He tells me and I pick up the box, placing it in my lap after we sit down.

"So you planned me getting tired just as we got close to our spot?" I say kind of jokingly.

"Our spot?"

I feel myself blush slightly and I hit him in the arm, "Shut up."

"Jesus, when did you get so abusive? You're lucky I'm a ninja and your puny punches do nothing to me." He comments and puts an arm behind my waist.

I shake my head and look down to my present. It's pretty small, so probably it's jewelry. Like I said, the ribbon is a deep red and the box itself is black. I pull off the ribbon, place it beside me and then proceed to open the box. When I take off the lid and lift up the tissue paper, I see a gorgeous silver bracelet with a charm of a deer attached to it.

Immediately I feel a wave of emotions. I stop breathing and I feel a pull in my chest. "It's… It's beautiful." I tell Shikamaru and pull it out of the box, putting it on my arm. I can't believe he would get me something like this.

I twist my arm back and forth to look at it in full detail, but as I do, I notice something. "Wait a second," I grab his hand behind my waist and bring it in front of me.

Something I noticed earlier was on his right hand Shikamaru was wearing a ring. I hold his hand up to mine and it's a perfect match to the bracelet. "They match."

He shrugs, "Yeah. I figure this way when I'm on a mission we have a reminder of each other."

I pause, "Say that again?" If he just said what I thought he did I don't think I can stop myself from falling in love with him all over again.

He repeats himself; "I got them so we have a reminder of each other when the other is not around."

I look down to his hand that was still in mine and interlace my fingers with his. I know he did all these horrible things to me, but two years ago he would have never planned out such an elaborate birthday as this. He wouldn't have woken me up a five just to see the deer. He wouldn't have prepared food or done anything he is now. "Shikamaru, this is the last time I can do this."

He sits up straight, "You mean, us?"

I nod, "You've already broken my heart so many times and if…" I struggle to say the words, "if you break up with me again I'm done. I'll be broken forever."

He squeezes my hand, "I know."

I turn to him, tears filling up my eyes. I can't believe I'm about to do this but, "Don't break me again. Please don't." I beg him, the sobs taking over.

He wraps me into a tight hug, "I won't this time. I promise."

"Please don't. Please don't." I beg him again and again.

"I'm not going to Yuri." He lifts my head from his chest and kisses me, "I'm not going to. I swear." He reaffirms.

"You swear?" I ask him, bracing myself on him as I lose all the strength from my arms and legs.

"I swear." He kisses me again and again, as if kissing me enough times would make me believe him.

And after enough times I wanted to believe him, I wanted to so badly that it hurt. I miss kissing him. I miss holding him. I miss the way he made me laugh. I miss the way he sometimes would look at me when he thought I wasn't looking. I just… I missed everything **so **much.

I pull away and rest my forehead on his, "Okay." I give in. "Okay." I close my eyes and let tears subside.

He sighs, "I made you cry two times in one day. I feel like such a jerk."

I laugh a little, "You are one."

Shikamaru wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. "Do you prefer dream Shikamaru then? I'm pretty sure he's never been a jerk to you."

I shake my head, "No, dream Shikamaru is nice and all, but all we ever do is make out."

He laughs, "I knew it. I'm way better than that guy anyways."

I nod slightly, "So much better."


	23. Goddamn Alarm Clock

.**  
**

**Goddamn Alarm Clock  
**

_Nara Shikamaru_

So Yuri and I are back together. My plan for us to get back together on her birthday worked, which quite frankly if it didn't I would have been pissed. I put in a lot of work into it, getting her a present which said I like you more than a friend but not in the super stalker-y way, tracking the times the deer came around the mountain, dropping off the food in said mountain before picking up Yuri (which took about two hours), making sure Chouji put her present on the bench at the right time, giving her the right amount of affection that wouldn't freak her out… Like I said, a lot of work.

And I didn't like that when she did agree to get back together she was crying her eyes out. I guess it's understandable, considering everything that's happened, but I don't think she completely trusts that I won't 'break her' yet, as she puts it.

"Shikamaru, slow down." Yuri tells me and I pause for a moment so she can catch up.

We're on the way to Suna, something I am not particularly looking forward to. Yuri had to follow up on some work and I figured since I had to catch up on some things as well we could go together. Although I'm expecting that sometime on this trip I will probably have to meet Keisuke. I wonder how that will go…

When we reach the gate to Suna, I pull Yuri aside right before we go in. "What is—" She starts but I cut her off by kissing her. She smiles into my mouth and kisses me back. "People can see us," she says and I kiss her again. I would like to say we're still not that couple that can't keep their hands off each other, but we kind of can't. Or at least I can't.

"I've got two years of kisses to make up. At least let me get this one in." I kiss her cheek and pull away reluctantly.

Yuri grins and rolls her eyes, "Alright, alright." She says and we head in, walking towards our hotel.

"You sure you don't just want to stay with your step mother?" I ask Yuri again. Not that I don't want to share a hotel room with her, I do, I just think it's odd how opposed to it she is.

She shakes her head, "No. That house is the last place I want to be. All those memories…" She shudders and grabs onto my arm, "Besides you've been so busy with work the past few weeks I've hardly been able to see you. It will be nice to be able to spend all this time together."

"If you say so."

On the way to the hotel, Yuri stops by a flower market to pick up some flowers for the room. "This is the Suna version of the Yamanaka's." She laughs as she enters the massive building. It has to be at least four times the size of Ino's shop.

When Yuri goes in the girl behind the counter immediately greets her. "Yuri! Oh my god!" They come out and pull Yuri into a hug, which Yuri reciprocates.

"Mariko, it's been a while." Yuri tells her and turns back to me, gesturing for me to go up to them. I slowly walk up to them, feeling a little out of place. "Mariko, this is Shikamaru." Yuri grabs onto my arm and pulls me to her side.

This place is filled with flowers from head to toe. The only place there isn't any is the walk up to the cash register, holy crap.

"As in…" The red head starts and Yuri nods. Suddenly Mariko goes from slightly excited to extremely excited, "Are you serious? What did that take, two months?"

"Well we got back together a few weeks ago actually." Yuri explains and Mariko gives her a look like Yuri did something bad.

"What brings you back to Suna then?" Mariko questions.

"I got to check up on some of my plants, do some paper work, you know the usual."

"Ohhh, I see. Well let's get you some flowers." Mariko says and they walk off into the sea of flowers.

I hang back by the cash register and wait for them to finish. It appears Yuri has a Suna version of Ino… I wonder how many different versions of us she has here. My stomach twists; the idea that Keisuke could be the Suna version of me makes me want to puke.

About fifteen minutes later, Yuri and I leave the shop with a bouquet of six orchids. When we get to the hotel and into our room I drop my pack by the end of the bed, falling into it. After three days of sleeping bags, this feels amazing.

Yuri laughs as drops her stuff on the bed beside me and places the orchids on her nightstand. "I guess that's your side of the bed?" She asks me, starting to take out things from her bag.

I nod into the blanket, "Yeah I guess." I look up at her and see what she's holding in her hand. "Oh no, you've got to be kidding me."

She has an alarm clock in her hand and it's the same clock that she had back when she was living at my house. It has the most obnoxious ring I have ever heard and I told her a million times how much I hated it but she's insisted on keeping it. Saying it's the only clock that she never slept through.

"You still don't like the clock?" She asks as she sets it up on the nightstand on her side of the bed.

I sit up, "More than don't like. Try hate." I tell her. It's so irritating. Every time it goes off I feel like throwing it across the room.

She rolls her eyes at me, "Just deal with it. All you got to do is hear it for two days."

"Three if you count the day we're leaving to go home." I remind her.

Yuri shakes her head, "Just deal."

* * *

It's 7:50am, ten minutes before Yuri's alarm clock is going to go off and I'm debating whether or not to turn it off. I turn in the bed to look at Yuri. She's on her side, facing me and her bangs are side swept towards the pillow. It's completely quiet; no outside noises whatsoever coming in from the outside world.

I can't stop thinking of when I kissed Yuri's scar and she squeezed my shoulders, digging her nails into them. I don't know why, but I want to do something to make her do it again. So I tuck some of Yuri's hair behind her ear and lean forward, about to kiss her, but pause right before I do, remembering my stupid promise.

"Yuri." I shake her shoulder a little "wake up."

She rolls onto her back, frowning at the sudden disturbance. "What is it?" She tries to say but it really comes out like '_wah is eh?'_

She looks so cute half asleep like this. I put an arm around her stomach and lower my header into the side of her neck. "I feel like kissing you and I made a stupid promise."

Yuri intertwines her legs with mine and wraps her arms around my neck instead of placing them on my shoulders like I want. "Fine, fine I'm awake." Her words slowly become more coherent as she goes along.

I lean back up and smile, lowering my lips onto hers. I need to figure out a way to make her grab onto my shoulders. The easiest way I would think is to— I grab her torso and roll back onto the bed, flipping her so she is on top of me.

She moves her hands so that they're on my shoulders, but I still need her to dig her nails into them. I kiss her more fervently and my right hand lingers at the edge of her shirt, wanting to rise so badly. Yuri looks over to the clock and sees the time, "Shikamaru I need to go to work."

I grab the back of her neck and lower her head, placing my lips on her scar and sucking. "Work can wait five minutes." I tell her and continue to move up her neck, along the side of her jaw.

My right hand starts to go underneath her shirt slowly moving up her side, and she _finally _squeezes my shoulders. But before I can get any satisfaction from it she shakes her head and gets out of the bed, "As much as I would like to continue, I need to go." She gives me a quick peck then runs off into the washroom.

I sigh and as if on cue the darned alarm clock goes off.

* * *

I walk with Yuri, dropping her off at her work just like she had asked me the night before. I yawn and look over to her, already knee deep into some logbook. "I didn't realize you liked work this much." I comment and put my hands into my pockets.

She looks up to me and smiles a little, "Well what am I supposed to say? I like it. But hey, I want to show you something. Do you have time now?"

I nod as we arrive at the same greenhouse where all those things happened years ago. We head inside and Yuri tells me to wait by the entrance while she gets what she wants to show me. I lean on the glass wall and look up to the sky.

Not a single cloud.

Then someone enters the green house and starts to walk past me until they double back and notice me. "Can I help you?" They ask.

I shake my head, "I'm just waiting for someone." I say as they walk back to me.

"Oh well… You look like you're from Kohona, right?" The guy is around my height and his hair is all over the place.

I nod, "Shikamaru." I introduce myself, immediately regretting it the second after he punched me. Before he can get another shot in, I grab his arm, twist it behind his back and hold him to the ground. "You must be Keisuke." I should have seen this coming. Of course the second Yuri leaves me alone Keisuke manages to find me.

Then like any good story, every one in the green house comes out to see what the commotion is about. "Shikamaru! Oh my god let him go!" Yuri drops the plant she was holding onto a table and runs over to us.

"He's the one who hit me. I'm just making sure he doesn't—" I try to tell her but then she turns to Keisuke.

"You hit him!" She shouts and smacks his shoulder. At least she's not only abusive to me.

I let Keisuke go, making sure to keep my guard up if he tries to pull something again. He stands up and wipes the dirt off his knees, "He deserves it." He says loud and clear, completely sure about his statement.

Yuri rolls her eyes, "That still doesn't mean you can hit him." She tells him, not really defending me.

I put a hand behind my neck, rubbing it. "Why don't we settle this somewhere where everyone isn't watching us." I comment, looking around at all the eyes on us.

Keisuke shrugs his shoulders and starts to walk away, "No need. I'll be over there, so just stay out of my way." He spits out.

Yuri shakes her head; "We're talking about this later!" She almost shouts to him.

I walk up to her and place a hand on her shoulder, "Sorry about that."

She turns to me and the moment I see how pissed she is I back up a step. "Just go to work. I'll see you at the end of the day." Yuri says and walks off into the green house.

I look at the plant on the table she grabbed to show me. It was a small pitcher plant; it reminded me a lot of the one Yuri had told me about when she sent me that letter. Which is probably why she wanted to show it to me.

Great, just great.

* * *

"I heard about your fight in the greenhouse." Temari tells me the second I walk into her office.

I furrow my eyebrows, "I wouldn't call it a fight." It just happened, how the hell does news get around that fast?

"Well obviously." She says and rolls her eyes. "You're back with Yuri now?"

I nod, "Yeah, but maybe not for that much longer. She was pretty pissed at me for defending myself." I sit down in the spare chair she has in her office.

"Oh please, all you got to do is show her that picture of her you still carry in your wallet. She'll forgive you in a second." She laughs.

Temari must have seen the picture one time we went out to eat, whether in a group or by ourselves. "I don't have that picture anymore, I gave it back to her." I explain and rub the sides of my forehead for a second.

"What about the plant picture though, you still have that right?" I do, which is why I gave Yuri's picture to her so easily, but Temari doesn't need to know that.

"Can we just go to work?" I ask, wanting to get off the subject of my relationship. Temari always feels like prying, it's kind of annoying.

"Fine, fine." Temari sighs.

* * *

I decide not to wait until the end of the day to see Yuri and drop by at lunch to get her un-mad at me. As I enter the greenhouse I look around and see no one; this place is as dead as the streets at 4:30am. Then after a minute or so someone calls out from behind me, "Don't tell me you're…" I turn to them and they get excited, "You're Shikamaru!"

I blink as the girl runs up to me, "I can't believe it. So Yuri and you _are_ back together." She hits me in the arm like we're buddies. I wonder if that's where Yuri got it from.

"Let me guess… Kyori?" I ask.

By her expression I would say I got it right, "You are good! Yes, nice to meet you Nara Shikamaru." She bows a little.

She seems kind of quirky. "Do you know where Yuri is?" I question her.

"Oh you don't want to talk to Yuri right now." I raise an eyebrow and she continues, "Her and Keisuke have been fighting all day. Granted they usually fight but this isn't over work stuff so it's extra juicy."

"They usually fight?" This seems a little odd to me.

"Yeah, like Keisuke knows all about biology and stuff like Yuri; in fact he probably knows a little more than she does. So they always fight about what's like the best course of action to take when she does her experiments." The way she speaks and the tone in her voice… This is one strange girl.

Then as we're talking Yuri comes out of nowhere with Keisuke in suit and Kyori pushes me back behind some big plant, "Hide!" She whispers.

"Keisuke, it's not like this was a huge surprise. I don't understand why you're so upset." Yuri's tone sounds very disapproving; I hope she never uses that on me.

"I'm upset because he did all this shit to you and you act like none of it happened." I can just imagine his arms waving around, exaggerating his speech.

"I'm not acting like none of it happened!"

"Okay, then if you're not ignoring it, you've forgiven him right?" He says it sarcastically, as if he already knows the answer.

"Of course I haven't!" I guess my thought about her not believing I wasn't going to break her was true. "It's just not enough to…" She doesn't finish her sentence.

"To not be with him? Your _obsession_ of him is only going to end with you being hurt."

"Just leave me alone." Yuri lets out an exasperated sigh and she walks right past us out of the green house into the kazekage's building.

"Nice to meet you," I quickly tell Kyori and I follow after Yuri. Yuri goes into an office and by the time I reach the door she's already sitting in the desk, reading a book. I intentionally leave the door open so that she can't yell that loud at me without disturbing others, hopefully deterring her from doing so. "I caught the tail end of your argument with Keisuke." I say.

When I talk she looks up to me and shakes her head, "Shikamaru don't. I don't want to talk about this now."

"No. We are going to talk about this now." I say firmly. I have a feeling if we put this off we will never talk about it again.

"No we don't nee—" She starts but I walk over to the desk and pull the chair she was in from behind it.

"Yes. We do." I say, waiting for her give in.

She shakes her head again and looks away, "Fine."

I take in a deep breath, bracing myself, "You still haven't forgiven me."

Yuri rolls her eyes, "Yeah, what are you going to do about it?" She spits out.

I cringe a little at her ferocity. "Yuri I've been trying to get you to forgive me for almost two months now."

She looks at me, anger in her eyes. "I've been mad at you for two years, do you really think it'll go away overnight?"

I clench my jaw, "No I don't, but you haven't even tried to forgive me."

"Tried?" She shouts, so much for the idea behind not closing the door. "This whole time I've been trying **not** to forgive you!"

"What the—" I stop myself before I swear, "You've been trying **not** to forgive me? Why the hell would you do that?"

"Why? You really have to ask **why**?" She shakes her head, "You rejected me, then told me the next day 'Sure whatever'. Then you broke up with me after my accident because my Dad told you to. _Then_ you picked a fight with me because my uncle asked you to. _**Then **_you shut a freaking a door in my face!" She screams, putting more emphasis on _then _every time she said it.

Ouch. Having every mistake you've made thrown in your face like that really hurts. I look away, "I didn't say 'Sure whatever'" I correct the only thing about her statement I can.

The room falls silent and all I can hear is Yuri's breathing becoming more ragged by the second. Then just as I look to her she lowers her face into her hands and starts to cry. I kneel down in front of her and pull her hands away from her face, clutching them tightly. "If we're going to be together, you're going to have to forgive me."

She looks at me, her face just a few inches away from mine. "I know." She tries to speak through the tears, "It's just… you weren't there. The whole time my father was sick I _know _it would have been so much easier if you were there."

I put one of my hands into her hair, holding her head so she doesn't look away. "But Yuri", I pause, waiting until she calmed down a little, "You were going to stay in Suna regardless of what I did. How were we supposed to make it work?"

"I don't know." She whispers, "But I wanted to try. I would have given anything to try." She cringes, trying to stop herself from sobbing.

I broke her. I always thought she was over exaggerating but now I know she wasn't. "Yuri," I say and stand, pulling her with me and into a hug.

She cries into my shoulder and I wait for her to get it out of her system. I wish we could just go back to the beginning, before all of this stupid crap started. But then I wonder if we would feel the way we do about each other if we weren't pushed to such extremes. I feel like some of her 'obsession' over me, as Keisuke puts it, is because of what happened to her. But nothing extraordinary has happened to me, so what explains my obsession over her?

When her tears finally stop I sigh and take in a deep breath. "If you think about it, technically we did make it work. I mean we are together now after all." I explain.

I feel her mouth go into a smile on my vest, and she wipes the tears off her face. She mindlessly taps my forehead protector on my sleeve and says, "What a shitty way to make it work."

I laugh, a kind of tired laugh. "Yeah. I agree. Let's not do that again, okay?"

She nods, "Okay."

* * *

"Finally we're going on that first date." Yuri says excitedly as we sit down in a booth at her favourite restaurant.

I open the menu and look at the contents. I have never been here before despite having gone to countless restaurants in Suna over the years. "I wouldn't say this is our first date."

"Oh really, then what was?"

"What about your birthday?"

"But we weren't even together yet."

"We spent the whole day together, just the two of us and we kissed multiple times."

She props her head on the table, "Yeah but to me a date is when you ask someone, 'Want to go out on a date?' It's all about setting the expectations."

I furrow my brows, "But I didn't even ask you this time. So even by following your definition what we are doing right now is not a date."

She holds her breath and tries to think of a counter argument, but fails. "Fine, you win. I guess my birthday can count as our first date."

I laugh and I decide what I want to order, closing the menu and placing it in front of me. "So, how did the rest of your day go?" I ask her.

She frowns; obviously something happened after I left her at lunch. "Keisuke and I got into another fight."

"About?"

"About our fight. Apparently he heard us."

"Well you were yelling pretty loudly." Maybe it would have been better just to close the door…

"Anyways, he got all pissed off at me saying that in the ten minutes you and I were arguing I told you more about how I felt than I told him in the two years I lived here."

"Boo freaking hoo." I feel like I should have mumbled that under my breath, but when it comes to Keisuke, I'm perfectly fine with the world knowing I think he is a crybaby.

Yuri ignores my statement, "Like I guess he kind of has a valid point, but… you're Shikamaru."

"Yes, I am Shikamaru." I say.

"No," She says playfully, "I mean that, in the way that I can tell you anything."

I was about to respond but then Kyori comes to our table out of nowhere, "How did I know you would be here?" She laughs and turns to Yuri.

"You know me too well." Yuri smiles, "Oh! Have you met Shikamaru?" Yuri asks Kyori, her foot starting to rub up and down my leg.

What Yuri is doing isn't distracting at all. I'm not starting to think of inappropriate things. Why would I? "Yes, Mr. Ninja and I have met." Kyori tells her.

"Shikamaru?" I shake my head to clear my thoughts and Yuri asks me again. "You two met at lunch?"

"Yeah we met at lunch." I respond, looking down to my menu again.

"Well Kyori, you know I would ask you to join us but Mr. Ninja and I are kind of on a date." Yuri explains. I think Yuri just likes the word 'date' too much.

"Alright, alright. I'll leave you two alone." Kyori waves goodbye and heads off.

"Can you stop doing that?" I ask Yuri. I'm surprised she's able to do this without blushing. Or at least, if she is I can't tell from this lighting.

"Why?"

I reach for the chopsticks on the table, "Because, if you keep going I won't have any choice but to do inappropriate things to you when we get back to the hotel room."

"If I stop will you still do those inappropriate things?" Yuri questions, a grin fighting its way onto her face.

"You're crazy."

* * *

One more day in Suna and then this strange trip can come to an end. Yuri is holding onto me, content in her sleep. I poke her face a few times to wake her, and after a while she stirs and stretches. Last night I figured out that for Yuri to dig her nails into me, whether it be my shoulders or my back (which I actually prefer now) all I need to do is kiss this one spot on her neck right below the right side of her jaw.

Without me having to say or do anything, Yuri gets on all fours and kisses me. But after a second she pulls away, "Are you Dream Shikamaru or Real Shikamaru?" She asks.

I laugh and rest my hands on her thighs, squeezing them slightly. "I'm Real Shikamaru, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." She says and continues what she was before.

_BZZZRRTT. BZZZRRTTT. BZZRRRTTTT. BZZZRRTTTT._

Fucking… I push Yuri back onto the bed, and reach for that goddamn alarm clock. "Shikamaru don't!" Yuri shouts, knowing full well what I'm about to do. I grab the clock and throw it across the room, crashing it into the wall.

Yuri gives me one of those looks and gets up to retrieve the wreckage. "It deserved it." I tell her.

"You sound just like Keisuke did yesterday," she shakes her head.

Someone then knocks on the door, pretty loudly too. "Yuri, we can talk?" I hear muffled from the other side of the door.

She cringes and runs over to the closet, "I'm sleeping." She tells me and closes the door.

My eyebrow twitches; that reaction was way too fast for comfort. I get up out of the bed and open the door. "Yo." I tell Keisuke and yawn.

He looks surprised to see me, "Can I talk to Yuri?" Why the hell is he here at eight in the freaking morning?

"She's sleeping." I lie. I wonder what he thinks about Yuri and I sharing a room; he probably hates it. Perfect.

"It's 8am, Yuri never sleeps in." He says as a matter-of-factly. "And besides anyone in a hundred foot radius can hear that alarm clock."

Considering we both agree on the clock, I let him in. "Yuri, I tried." I yawn again, "She's in the closet." I point to it and get back in bed. She's probably going to be pissed at me for giving away her hiding spot, but if Keisuke is a good friend like she says he is, then they should talk this out.

He looks at me like I'm crazy, and carefully opens the door as if he's expecting something to pop out at him. "You're really in the closet." He tilts his head and lowers himself down to be eye level with her.

"What do you want Keisuke?" She says, not moving.

"I wanted to apologize." He tells her and kneels down, "I shouldn't have been so rude to you yesterday."

There's a pause while Yuri mulls over what to say, "Not good enough."

Keisuke rolls his eyes and restates his apology, "I'm sorry I was such a jerk for yelling at you, even though I am completely right about what I said. I shouldn't have acted that way because you can make your own decisions and I shouldn't try to push my opinions onto you." He says it like he's reciting some boring speech he memorized.

But apparently it's good enough for Yuri. "Okay. Fine." She accepts his apology.

"Are you going to come out of there?" He asks.

She shakes her head, "Nope."

Keisuke laughs a little and I feel sick to my stomach. I'm fine with them sorting out their problems, but not with him flirting with her. I sit up in bed and turn to them, "Don't you have to go to work or something?" I wish my voice didn't sound so jealous.

He looks at me and stands up, almost like he had forgotten I was even there. "Yeah, uhh Yuri, I'll see you at work I guess." He says and lets himself out.

Then just as the door shuts Yuri slams into me and knocks me over. "Why did you give me away?" She yells at me.

I grab her wrists before she can hit me. "He knew you were here, what was I supposed to do?" I think the better question is why did he need to come here to apologize instead of waiting until she got to work? Probably to get some alone time with her since he didn't expect me to be here.

She furrows her brow and pouts, "you suck." She says and gets off of me.

I smile and grab onto her waist, pulling her down to be beside me. And even though she was just mad at me two seconds ago, she has a small smile on her face. "I love you," I tell her. I'm not really sure if now is the right time to say this considering we just got back together, but to be honest I never really stopped loving her.

Suddenly Yuri's small smile turns into a big grin and I know I wasn't wrong in saying it. She wraps her arms around my neck, "I love you too." She says and we kiss, another sweet and savouring kiss like we had on her birthday.

* * *

It's the end of the day and I'm heading to Yuri's work to pick her up. Fortunately, nothing too eventful happened today. Keisuke and I managed to avoid each other and Yuri and I went to lunch with Kyori.

However, right before I can walk into the greenhouse, Keisuke stops me. "Shikamaru, can I talk to you?" He asks.

I blink a few times and nod, "Sure I guess." So much for avoiding each other.

We go into a private room and Keisuke lets out a big breath as if what he is going to say is pretty important. "I'm not giving up on her." He tells me and gets right to the point.

Why is he telling me this? What exactly is he planning? "You realize we are dating again, right? Yuri is my girlfriend."

He looks to the side and shrugs, "Yeah I know." Oh I get it. He wants me to hit him so he can cry to Yuri about it.

"You're kind of at a disadvantage aren't you? Considering you don't even live in same country as her anymore." I say, trying my best not to get too worked up about this.

"Oh I guess Yuri hasn't gotten the chance to tell you yet, but I'm moving to Kohona for a bit." I clench my jaw. "Apparently the people she works with aren't really trained to handle her research, so she wants me to go and help her out."

Screw it. He threw the first punch at me yesterday, so even if he does bitch to Yuri I have the upper hand. "Is that it?" I ask him, taking my fist out of my pocket.

"Yeah, that's about it." He says.

I punch the asshole in the face and he falls to the ground. "Alright, good talk." I tell him and leave the room, slamming the door shut behind me.


End file.
